Stormgate Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Granted. You get Diagrammer-level intelligence, and plot out the course of the world for the next decade. However, like the mythical Cassandra, your solutions will not be believed by anyone besides yourself. I wish for as much pie and whichever flavor I want at any given time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightness Enna Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Granted. Pies now appear whenever you wish them in whatever flavor you specify. Yummy pies for everybody. Your bane is that now you can't see the faces of human beings, unless they're in some kind of picture or sculpture. But pies so yay. I wish for superpowers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Granted, you have whatever superpowers you wish. But you also lose the ability to move. I wish for an extra arm and leg 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erklitt Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 2 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: Granted, you have whatever superpowers you wish. But you also lose the ability to move. I wish for an extra arm and leg Granted. The arm grows where your mouth used to be, so no more eating or talking. The leg grows where ... (and now my voice gets too low to be heard, for reasons of propriety). I wish my every wish were granted the moment I make it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Granted. However, since these wishes are granted by the nightwatcher, each of these in turn have their own banes. Be careful what you wish for... But that's more a side effect of getting multiple wishes from the nightwatcher. The bane given you in exchange for still getting multiple wishes of any kind is that you contract a tissue necrosis disease. Lets say it's leprosy, because that term refers to a majority of tissue necrosis conditions. I wish to become the proprietor of the restaurant at the end of the cosmere. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 10 hours ago, Drake Marshall said: I wish to become the proprietor of the restaurant at the end of the cosmere. Granted, but it only serves Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. (Have you read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?) I wish for a suit of shardplate. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc12 Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Granted, but as long as you live you'll feel the urge to wear it absolutely everywhere. Also, spren dislike you now. On that note, I wish to bond an honorspren 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 3 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: Granted, but it only serves Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. (Have you read the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?) I wish for a suit of shardplate. A restaurant that only serves a drink? How unorthodox. Still, the pan-galactic gargle blaster is considered the best drink in the universe. Worldhoppers of all types will frequent my restaurant! 3 hours ago, Doctor12 said: Granted, but as long as you live you'll feel the urge to wear it absolutely everywhere. Also, spren dislike you now. On that note, I wish to bond an honorspren Hm... Granted. As part of your wish you are transported to Roshar so you may bond your honorspren. You join the ranks of the windrunners with your honorspren... Just before the recreance. I wish for a gold brick with a piece of lemon wrapped around it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magestar Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) The Nightwatcher gives you this absurd request. Your Bane is that the Value of gold suddenly drops, and the national standard is completely debased. I wish for an Improbability drive attatched to a DeLorean, both of which are powered by vegetable oil. Edited July 18, 2016 by Magestar 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted July 18, 2016 Report Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) 2 hours ago, Magestar said: The Nightwatcher gives you this absurd request. Your Bane is that the Value of gold suddenly drops, and the national standard is completely debased. I wish for an Improbability drive attatched to a DeLorean, both of which are powered by vegetable oil. Granted, but the improbability drive will always send you to the Jurassic time period. I wish for a golem servant to do my bidding. Edited July 18, 2016 by Assassin in Burgundy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcoss Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) 18 hours ago, Assassin in Burgundy said: I wish for a golem servant to do my bidding. Granted, you have a golem servant who does your bidding, your bane is that the govenment imposes a new golem tax I want another season of FireFly, directed by Joss Whedon who has complete creative and financial control over the project, with all the original cast Edited July 19, 2016 by Arcoss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormgate Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. However, you become of the 10th Heightening with no ability to give your Breaths to anyone or anything. You can't watch TV, since the pixels become refracted. I wish for Epic powers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightRadiant Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. You can now fire a gun and never run out of bullets. I wish for a sandwich. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. The village sandwich maker makes you a sandwich (too many references). I wish for Wayne to ascend to shardholder of honor. And since he is ascended and no longer has a physical body, I'll also ask for his lucky hat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magestar Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) You get both. Wayne however invests his hat with a ton of power, creating the Hat of Mourning. You keep it, and become Hateyes, (The hat is too big and hangs over your eyes.) Ironeyes' Assistant Financial Manager. I wish for a Perfectly Normal Beast. (All the references. ) Edited July 19, 2016 by Magestar HGTTG 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 And thus the legend spreads of the dread hateyes, death's assistant, and his legendary lucky hat of mourning Hm...Granted. You may have a Perfectly Normal Beast... Hm... For a fitting bane... Lets say you also get a small swarm of matresses invading your home. I wish that all existing raccoons in the world became sentient. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightRadiant Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. They become sentient, and steal all of the cat food. You have doomed us all. I wish Shallan wasn't so boring in her earlier chapters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormyQueen Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. Shallan engages in an epic fight sequence, but because she can't fight, she dies an early and painful death. It won't be boring anymore, just rather short lived I wish that I can have a pet baby seal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin in Burgundy Posted July 19, 2016 Report Share Posted July 19, 2016 13 minutes ago, CalypsoDreaming said: Granted. Shallan engages in an epic fight sequence, but because she can't fight, she dies an early and painful death. It won't be boring anymore, just rather short lived I wish that I can have a pet baby seal. Granted. The pet baby seal is so cute that all you can do is spend time with it. It eventually waddles back to the ocean. You follow and almost drown. I wish for a flying cow covered in ketchup packets. (Make of that what you will). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vander Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 Well, this place changed... Granted. The cow falls on you (from orbit) as cows can't fly. Everyone ignores your injuries (i.e. slight "splattered-ness") because they now have fresh steak. With free storming ketchup! I wish for someone I knew from the Shard to pop up... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc12 Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted, except that person is the guy who constantly downvotes your posts. I wish for the ability to control time completely 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted. Unfortunately, in a vaguely relativistic tradeoff, you lose the ability to control space completely. You can observe the entire history of your current location, but you can't move around or interact with the world in any way. I'm afraid you are also still more or less a living human being, so pretty soon you might starve... I wish for a clearchip. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erklitt Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 34 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said: Granted. Unfortunately, in a vaguely relativistic tradeoff, you lose the ability to control space completely. You can observe the entire history of your current location, but you can't move around or interact with the world in any way. I'm afraid you are also still more or less a living human being, so pretty soon you might starve... I wish for a clearchip. Granted. As you don't live on Roshar, it will soon grow dun, without a chance of infusing it. And as there are few trusting people in this world, you will now have a keepsake from Roshar that no one will ever believe is genuine. I see you looking at it every day, wistfully... (Feeling gracious today and not in the mood to come up with a really frightening curse...) I wish for a chasmfiend gemheart. (Also not in the mood to be as moderate as you...) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vander Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted. A gemheart appeared in front of you. Momentarily. You are now being digested. (What? We don't know the specifics of chasmfiend anatomy...) I wish I could die. (Immortality sucks...) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormyQueen Posted July 20, 2016 Report Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted. You can now die, at the end of the world, a few seconds before everything ends. I wish that I have a notebook that never runs out of pages. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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