soulcastJam Posted September 15, 2014 Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 If Stormlight Archive was written by every Dystopian Teen writer ever... If I could I would upvote this 20 times. =) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newan Posted September 17, 2014 Report Share Posted September 17, 2014 17th Shard writes the Cosmere? I like this idea! I think we should write Nightblood. Mostly just so Hoid can steal Vivenna at the end and Vasher can chase him to Roshar. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curiosity Posted September 17, 2014 Report Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) If I could I would upvote this 20 times. =) I'll help you in this noble endeavor. =D Edit: And belatedly realized that I had already upvoted it... Edited September 17, 2014 by Curiosity 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 If Stormlight Archive was written by every Dystopian Teen writer ever... Also, every single character would be insanely good looking, the protagnist will be attracted to the mysterious guy despite the fact that he is entirely unlikeable and possibly openly aggressive/rude, and the protagonist will have a baby sister who will die in the final showdown. Every SA book will only be 250 pages because everyone knows YA books have to be short. The series won't even be the length of WoK, and will take five years to be published. It will be loved, then hated, then forgotten. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmurfAquamarineBodies Posted September 21, 2014 Report Share Posted September 21, 2014 Also, every single character would be insanely good looking, the protagnist will be attracted to the mysterious guy despite the fact that he is entirely unlikeable and possibly openly aggressive/rude, and the protagonist will have a baby sister who will die in the final showdown. Every SA book will only be 250 pages because everyone knows YA books have to be short. The series won't even be the length of WoK, and will take five years to be published. It will be loved, then hated, then forgotten. There would be a movie made but it would concentrate on the love triangle between Shallan, Kaladin and Adolin. The desolation would barely get any screen time. Even when people started dying the love triangle would take precedence. With Shallan's decision somehow affecting the fate of the world. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post maxal Posted September 22, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 There would be a movie made but it would concentrate on the love triangle between Shallan, Kaladin and Adolin. The desolation would barely get any screen time. Even when people started dying the love triangle would take precedence. With Shallan's decision somehow affecting the fate of the world. Shallan will find out she is special: her eyes are a different kind of light and she will meet Adolin, who is just like her. It will turn out those special eyes will turn into a badass warrior within the scope of a few weeks, but all of this will be lost into the real issues at end: does Adolin thinks she is pretty? Or not? Half a book later, it will be apparent he does and he will want to move things forward. Shallan will thus wonder for the remaining of the book as to whether she should be intimate with Adolin or no. She will ponder so much about it it will turn into her worst fear. All of her inner dialogues will be used to deal with this issue. Other events will become irrelevant when compare to the foreshadowed intimate moments she is convinced Adolin wants to have with her. After a whole book, she'll get over it, but then every occasion will be one to be intimate with Adolin. Pages and pages will be spend describing her slowly removing his shirt and kissing his lips... even in the scope of a mass massacre. Then, Adolin will suddenly learn his eyes are not special after all: they are just plain old blue. He will fall into depression as he is not special anymore. He will start doubting Shallan as why would she like him now he is not special like her (oh wait are we in SA now )? He will then meet a random girl who will have very little page time, but she will automatically hook up with him as she knows he is not special. Nothing will happen, but Shallan will get jealous and end her relationship with Adolin. Adolin will thus fall back to the unknown random girl who, as it turns out, is at the head of a conspiracy. She will convince Adolin killing Sadeas is a good idea and he will do it. Adolin will be arrested and thrown into jail. Shallan will ponder for pages and pages as to what to do with him, but in the end, after removing his shirt once more, she will decide to go back with him. Together, they will vanquish their enemies, but it will be irrelevant when compare to their amazing love story. In the end, Shallan will sacrifice herself to prove she can be selfless and Adolin will be force to live being not special and single. Forever. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 Shallan will find out she is special: her eyes are a different kind of light and she will meet Adolin, who is just like her. It will turn out those special eyes will turn into a badass warrior within the scope of a few weeks, but all of this will be lost into the real issues at end: does Adolin thinks she is pretty? Or not? Half a book later, it will be apparent he does and he will want to move things forward. Shallan will thus wonder for the remaining of the book as to whether she should be intimate with Adolin or no. She will ponder so much about it it will turn into her worst fear. All of her inner dialogues will be used to deal with this issue. Other events will become irrelevant when compare to the foreshadowed intimate moments she is convinced Adolin wants to have with her. After a whole book, she'll get over it, but then every occasion will be one to be intimate with Adolin. Pages and pages will be spend describing her slowly removing his shirt and kissing his lips... even in the scope of a mass massacre. Then, Adolin will suddenly learn his eyes are not special after all: they are just plain old blue. He will fall into depression as he is not special anymore. He will start doubting Shallan as why would she like him now he is not special like her (oh wait are we in SA now )? He will then meet a random girl who will have very little page time, but she will automatically hook up with him as she knows he is not special. Nothing will happen, but Shallan will get jealous and end her relationship with Adolin. Adolin will thus fall back to the unknown random girl who, as it turns out, is at the head of a conspiracy. She will convince Adolin killing Sadeas is a good idea and he will do it. Adolin will be arrested and thrown into jail. Shallan will ponder for pages and pages as to what to do with him, but in the end, after removing his shirt once more, she will decide to go back with him. Together, they will vanquish their enemies, but it will be irrelevant when compare to their amazing love story. In the end, Shallan will sacrifice herself to prove she can be selfless and Adolin will be force to live being not special and single. Forever. This made me cry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curiosity Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 There would be a movie made but it would concentrate on the love triangle between Shallan, Kaladin and Adolin. The desolation would barely get any screen time. Even when people started dying the love triangle would take precedence. With Shallan's decision somehow affecting the fate of the world. Dalinar would die in the first hour of the movie, not surviving the Desolation because he stubbornly refused to leave the Codes behind. And he would only get 10 minutes of screen time. Hoid would never show up, or just be the comic relief. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted September 22, 2014 Report Share Posted September 22, 2014 Shallan will ponder for pages and pages as to what to do with him, but in the end, after removing his shirt once more, she will decide to go back with him. And this epitomises my frustration with most YA romances. For bonus points, Adolin is a KR and glows, so he's extra pretty. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post maxal Posted September 23, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 And this epitomises my frustration with most YA romances. For bonus points, Adolin is a KR and glows, so he's extra pretty. Oh this is a good one.... Glowing Adolin breaks up with Shallan because, you know, he is glowing and she isn't. There is also the fact he really likes chicken and she doesn't. The relationship just has to end. Shallan thus spend the next 200 pages (or 2h if you are watching the movie adaptation) curled up in a ball, in her bed, crying and crying and crying over the failure of her entire life. She will then meet Kaladin: a boy who spends all his time running in the wood with his bridge brothers carrying bridges, a task they have solely entrusted to pertain by their elders. Shallan will instantly notice Kaladin is more muscular than Adolin. Adolin is an expert swordsman and he is quite cut, but lifting heavy bridges did give lend Kaladin broader shoulders and a heavier musculature. Shallan will then spend the next 200 pages pondering as to who's abs are more chiseled. Who's hair does she likes best? Adolin neatly tousled blond hair or Kaladin messy and knotty brown locks? Who's smell does she prefer? Adolin's cologne or Kaladin freshly scent of sweat and musk? She will also ponder about other part of their anatomy, but it will send her giggling so she will use fruit or vegetable names to refer to it.... There will, of course, be some war or battle or world crushing event happening in the background, but it will have little significance when compared to the heart breaking decision Shallan is forced to do. In the mean time, Adolin will be depressed. As it turns out, not glowing and not liking chicken may not have been good reason to dump Shallan. He will thus decide to surrender to Taravangian to dispose of him as he wishes. As he is about to be slay by Taranvangian in order to extract his death rattle, Shallan will bounce in, Renarin in tow, to save Adolin from a sure death. Yeah. You will now think her dilemma is over as she appears to have chosen Adolin, but no. Kaladin is still lurking in the back of her mind. As to the world important events that may results in many innocent life being lost, nothing will be decided at the end of the book. In the next book, after removing Adolin's shirt, Shallan will start to ponder as to what Kaladin's chest may feel like.... And then she will realize those broad shoulders must be firm to the touch........ And....... It will go on for another book or two or three. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
king of nowhere Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 I see you have a deep knowledge of ya romance novels. The only question is, if you obviously have such a low opinion of them, how did you ccome to read so many as to know them so well? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 I see you have a deep knowledge of ya romance novels. The only question is, if you obviously have such a low opinion of them, how did you ccome to read so many as to know them so well? All you need to know about is the general "plot" of Twilight for that one. Even the best of us got sucked in somehow. (For me, it was being friendly with coworkers and agreeing to see the movie with them, which I regret with the exception of the soundtracks.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxal Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) I see you have a deep knowledge of ya romance novels. The only question is, if you obviously have such a low opinion of them, how did you ccome to read so many as to know them so well? Actually, I have never read Twilight, but I must admit I have watched the first two movies... I thought the first one was OK, but the second one was boring of boredom.......................................... I don't mind YA, as long as it does not get trap within the "He loves me, he loves me not" dilemma for too long and as long as it offers plausible character development and a decent plot. However, many of them don', but they do offer quite some opportunities to get a good laugh or two Edit: I had fun writing it. I thought it was hilarious. Edited September 23, 2014 by maxal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Left Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 Even the best of us got sucked in somehow I have managed to avoid both reading them and watching them! Divergent though......... Yeah, friends with bad book tastes aren't fun. You want to share books with them, but get stuck with ya romance. Same friend watched Twilight Zone on recommend though and loves it, so can't complain very loudly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxal Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 Divergent though......... We all have our failings... I did read the whole trilogy even though I though it was poor by the second book I must admit I thoroughly enjoy destroying it in front of colleagues who are enthusiast over either the movie or the book... I love to break their illusions that are actually part of something great 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggai Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 (edited) Actually, I have never read Twilight, but I must admit I have watched the first two movies... I thought the first one was OK, but the second one was boring of boredom.......................................... I don't mind YA, as long as it does not get trap within the "He loves me, he loves me not" dilemma for too long and as long as it offers plausible character development and a decent plot. However, many of them don', but they do offer quite some opportunities to get a good laugh or two Edit: I had fun writing it. I thought it was hilarious. Personally, I've started to find YA (with the exception of Diana Wynne Jones and anyone of comparable quality) to be a bit too simplistic. For example, halfway through a certain book, I already knew the supposedly dead parents were alive and where they were. Also, I knew where the mythical lost planet was, and most of how the FTL worked. All of them were supposed to be major revelations at the end. It happens some with non-YA books as well, but not as often. I blame Brandon and GRRM. Edited September 24, 2014 by Shaggai 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightsworn Panda Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 Divergent though......... I have never really understood what was so appealing about Divergent. The action is washed out, the writing quite bland and the characters, while understandable and realistic, are just boring at times. The idea and the plot of the book are good, but in my view, it was presented badly. If you wanted to read a book about a futuristic dystopia/utopia, read something like A Clockwork Orange or maybe even Brave New World. At least those books actually elaborated the backstories and works of their worlds, and the implications and ramifications they had. As for its sequels... Actually, I have never read Twilight, but I must admit I have watched the first two movies... I thought the first one was OK, but the second one was boring of boredom.......................................... Let's just say, Twilight's writing is pretty much watered-down fan-fic of fan-fic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxal Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 I have never really understood what was so appealing about Divergent. The action is washed out, the writing quite bland and the characters, while understandable and realistic, are just boring at times. The idea and the plot of the book are good, but in my view, it was presented badly. If you wanted to read a book about a futuristic dystopia/utopia, read something like A Clockwork Orange or maybe even Brave New World. At least those books actually elaborated the backstories and works of their worlds, and the implications and ramifications they had. I guess it may be appealing to people with lesser reading experiences as they may brush over the weakness of the book and focus on the action. For those who cares: Divergence spoilers below Personally, I cringed when I read the progression of Tris, from a little erased girl, to a badass killer in the scope of a few weeks. I found that implausible as any fighting skills require long term practice and 6 weeks hardly accounts for it. The entire divergent thing felt like a poor plot device used to explain how it is this silly 16 years old girl is better then everyone else at everything. I also found the love story to be insipid, over dramatic and the inclusions of hardship within it failed forced. I felt the characters were blend and I found none of them compelling. I felt I should have feel for Four's traumas, but I couldn't care less. The idea is not a bad one, but it was badly executed by a very young author, who has the merit of managing being a successful at her age, which is quite remarkable in itself, but her lack of foresight and her immaturity is bringing her whole story down. She wanted to write a tragic love story, but ended re-using the worst cliches in a poor way. Her world building was lacking as she failed to properly lay the foundation of her universe. Serums for everything? Really? Hello another plot device, how convenient. It is also completely unrealistic a bunch of teenagers would manage to save a whole city only a few days after finding out there is something bigger going on. They are, of course, entirely right. Brain washing Chicago in order to avoid a civil war is the most despicable thing to do in the whole world, but brain washing the scientists working to keep it together is the right thing to do. So as long as the people we are harming are not out close ones, then we are paving the road to virtue: such a nice morality. I like when an author takes the time to establish plausible character with compelling personalities. Bringing in your random 16 years old kid and giving him a set of skills he (or she) has never seen before out of the blue, just does not work. Or turning them into a hero without laying proper ground work to make it believable. I feel many YA authors are taking such shortcuts as perhaps they consider younger audience to not be able to see the difference... This is sad. A young reader may be a young reader, but it is no reason to give him such insipid characterization to read all the while telling him it is such a great story. Sorry for the rant... Divergence is a sore subject for me But I so loved writing the ficklet having Shallan and Adolin play Tris and Four.... It is so amusing, at times, to make fun of this trilogy... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrono Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 Wanted to make a Twilight version of Stormlight Archive, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I'll put a basic summary of my ideas below. Shallan is Bella, Adolin is Edward, Kaladin is Jacob, extras are extras. Follows the basic plot. Also realized halfway through how creepily similar Cullen and Kholin sound. Replaced "vampire" with Knights Radiant, changed the SPARKLES to glowing, and somehow this allows Adolin to read minds (Meyer has never been consistent on her lore anyway). The three vampires at the end of Twilight are from the Dustbringers, and the Volturi are the Skybreakers (which are also scarily similar, in the sense of tyrannical police force). I think I somehow managed to shoehorn in Lopen as the guy who almost kills Shallan with his chull, but not sure. Rosalie would be Jasnah, because she has an awesome story that is unfortunately left in the background compared to the TROO WUV of the main plot. Dalinar is Carlisle, Navani is Esme, Renarin is Jasper, and that's as far as I got. I think I quit right around the moment when I realized that Kaladin would be crushing on Shallan and Adolin's newborn child. Also, Adolin would always be described as "Adonis-like", "with tousled blond/black hair", "rich chestnut skin", "strikingly blue eyes" or "windows to the soul". Shallan would have, "Fiery red mane", "delicate, pale skin", and other such nonsense. Misspellings would abound as Meyer has protection from editors. Shallan and Adolin's honeymoon would be an island off the west coast of Alethkar. After experiencing sex for the first time, Shallan would become obsessed with getting more, despite Adolin harming her and leaving bruises. Eventually, Shallan would become a Knights Radiant and live in happily freaking after land with Adolin and her perfect newborn daughter: Lift. I think I threw up just writing that. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killersquirrel59 Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 It happens some with non-YA books as well, but not as often. I blame Brandon and GRRM. It's true. We've all been spoiled by finding actually good authors. I go back to read other books now and find that I already know the whole plot 3 chapters in. Sigh... Worth it though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paragrin Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 If Victor Hugo wrote the Stormlight Archive, Kaladin would be hiding from Darkness and raising Shallan. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 Personally, I've started to find YA (with the exception of Diana Wynne Jones and anyone of comparable quality) to be a bit too simplistic. For example, halfway through a certain book, I already knew the supposedly dead parents were alive and where they were. Also, I knew where the mythical lost planet was, and most of how the FTL worked. All of them were supposed to be major revelations at the end. It happens some with non-YA books as well, but not as often. I blame Brandon and GRRM. Have you tried anything by Patricia C. Wrede? She's the only other YA author I'll go out of my way to read without a ton of recommendations from people whose taste I trust. I also love Diana Wynne Jones. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashiok Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 There's a guy by the name of Sanderson, and he writes some Storming good YA novels. Anybody heard of him? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 There's a guy by the name of Sanderson, and he writes some Storming good YA novels. Anybody heard of him? Wasn´t that only a synonym for some bad mannered Smedry called Alcatraz? Wait, I think the actual Brandon wrote some as well, one of those even got a fan-fic/RP with lots of Epic Ponies. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted September 24, 2014 Report Share Posted September 24, 2014 There's a guy by the name of Sanderson, and he writes some Storming good YA novels. Anybody heard of him? That's just a given. Plus, he writes more than just YA novels. Wrede only writes YA (as of this moment). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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