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People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley


Voidus

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Welcome to the DA research division!

We offer a fantastic package, infinite spikes for your own personal 'baking', virtually unlimited supplies of newcomers to the forum for experiments, and also lots and lots of cookies!

And for the young DA hopeful, now offering easy bake forges ovens!

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Welcome, mind the gap. 

 

Also, mind the Curse-ed Abyss Whales. They take a while to get used to strangers.

 

Do you choose to pick a specialty, or do you choose to remain a general Denizen?

 

I am now officially moving to the Advertising department. Much more fun than research  ;)

 

Not if you do it right. And did you mean advertising or sales? They're frequently confused for one another.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The Dark Alley's a bit quiet.

 

:blink:

 

Suspiciously quiet.

Don't pay any attention to the crazy mans musings, we're as loud as we've ever been, making... cookies, yes we've been making mass batches of delicious cookies for all. :ph34r:

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I tend to imagine the corruption of the Dark Alley on other threads like the taint of the Shadow on saidin, for some reason...  <_<

The Dark Alley would like to inform the populace that it is not in any way connected to the taint on Saidin or the Dark one, lurkers of the Dark Alley advise our clients not to draw connections between our shadows and the shadows of The Father of Lies. Dark Alley researchers have definitely not discovered a method to travel between fantasy Epics and spread our shadow wherever we tread.

This message brought to you by Ruin Voidus, agent of the Dark Alley who is definitely acting under his own free will. :ph34r:

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would like to join the DA as a Compounding Researcher. Here is my resume.    I would like to research new ways to use the spikes cookies to store new investiture delicious treats.

Welcome to the Dark Alley, our benefits package includes a virtually limitless supply of newcomers in the Introductions thread for experimentation, your own Research facility within the Dark Alley and a wonderful Severence package of one Atium spike which our talented Hemalurgical engineers will install free of charge!

(Installation of Atium spike may result in loss of sanity, loss of ability to utilize investiture, grotesque appearance or death, by joining Dark Alley Inc. you agree to waive any responsibility of Dark Alley Inc. to ensure your health, sanity or freedom from possession by an omnipotent evil being bent on world destruction)

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Disclaimer: Disclaimers follow.

Free spikings cookies are available. If you bring 2 friends, get spiked cookies at a Buy One, Get One Free! Limited Time Offer.

(Neither the seller not the manufacture will be liable for any brain damage arising from the use of this product.Void where prohibited except where not prohibited.Above terms subject to change without notice.Action figures sold separately.Actual price set by retailers.All research statistics are blatantly flagrant.All rights reserved.All sales final.Any other application constitutes fraud.At participating locations only.Alternate toy available for children under 3.Because some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages, the above limitations may not apply to you.By continuing to use this system you indicate your awareness of and consent to these terms and conditions of use.Caveat emptor.Do not look at laser beam with remaining eye.Your results may vary.Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of a Shard, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorized repair, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, sticks and stones, et al.)User assumes full liabilities.Some humor and satire included.Price and participation may vary.Not to be used for the other use.

This supersedes any previous disclaimer: The above disclaimers may be inacurate and cookies will be provided in case of Shardic intervention.)

Have a Spiked Day!

 

 

Edit: Good enough to put in my signature. We need to get one of these ads into the Shardcast episodes. Who is their commercial manager?

Edited by 18th Shard
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Alcatraz may have thought that Librarians were Evil but they could take on the Librarians, Inquisitors and the Fjordell Empire and out-evil them all.

Do you mean lawyers with "they" because I have an Epic that is essentially an evil lawyer, still not as evil as Nighthound but he is quite underhanded.

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