People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

[I Am Witless]

@Apollyon and @The Forgetful Archivist, thank you both for your *cough* clarity. I appreciate the time you took to answer, but I think I'll hold back until I find out if I get powers or if I loose my soul. Should I ever decide to consume one, I'll tag both of you so that each of you can give me a cookie and get brownie points in the Alley. I swear that pun wasn't on purpose.

[Zennix]

8 hours ago, I am Witless said:

@Apollyon and @The Forgetful Archivist, thank you both for your *cough* clarity. I appreciate the time you took to answer, but I think I'll hold back until I find out if I get powers or if I loose my soul. 

The beauty of the the Dark Alley is that you can get the powers and still have your soul. OK, maybe not your actual soul, but you will have an unlimited number your victims' (sorry, research assistants') souls to choose from to replace your lost soul.

Oh, I have some Soul Spikes available for DA agents who have lost their souls. I'm saying this especially for the novices who attempting their first few experiments, because losing your soul is a common side effect.

If you've lost yours, don't worry. We've all had the same experience.

On the other hand, you may need to intentionally remove your soul before attempting some of the more hardcore experiments in order to save yourself from some moral problems. For example, if you are attempting an experiment that may result in the extinction of a whole planet of sapient penguins. Trust me, you really don't want to have nightmares about vengeful, screaming, bazooka-weilding penguins. I'm telling you from my personal experience.

Thanks 

Yours spikefully, 

Zennix

The Dark Alley R&D Laboratories 

[+ElephantEarwax]

We got something important done today, but something else happened.

[LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian]

Has our problem been taken care of by our friends?

[DrakeMarshall]

On 3/8/2018 at 11:18 AM, The Forgetful Archivist said:

We don't plan to right? the Ghostbloods are cool.

Our organization is vast enough that some members may conceivably be deliberately working against the interests of the Ghostbloods. On most fronts, our members enjoy a great deal of freedom, and we have no rules against interfering with other organizations (though many of us would consider it poor manners).

That said, as an institution the Dark Alley has no quarrel with the Ghostbloods. Many of our members have done business with them at some point in time or another.

Personally, I maintain good ties with certain Ghostbloods for the purposes of swapping certain rarer types of investiture. It would be very much a pity to see the Ghostbloods eradicated.

Quote

The beauty of the the Dark Alley is that you can get the powers and still have your soul. OK, maybe not your actual soul, but you will have an unlimited number your victims' (sorry, research assistants') souls to choose from to replace your lost soul.

Oh, I have some Soul Spikes available for DA agents who have lost their souls. I'm saying this especially for the novices who attempting their first few experiments, because losing your soul is a common side effect.

If you've lost yours, don't worry. We've all had the same experience.

On the other hand, you may need to intentionally remove your soul before attempting some of the more hardcore experiments in order to save yourself from some moral problems. For example, if you are attempting an experiment that may result in the extinction of a whole planet of sapient penguins. Trust me, you really don't want to have nightmares about vengeful, screaming, bazooka-weilding penguins. I'm telling you from my personal experience.

This was never a concern for me, as I never had a soul to begin with (I currently have many souls, but none of them are per se mine), but I am told losing your first soul can be a somewhat traumatic experience. If you find yourself in need of one, do not hesitate to contact me, and we can negotiate something. I offer a special bargain to Dark Alley members.

Edited March 11, 2018 by Drake Marshall

[+ElephantEarwax]

When all of the new WoBs are posted, we will have support.

[+ElephantEarwax]

Ignore.

 

Edited March 14, 2018 by ElephantEarwax

[Fatebreaker]

Well well well, everyone seems to be having a lovely time! So much "baking", so many new recipes. The Alley has certainly come a long way.

However, I would like to remind everyone that our goal is not selling cookies, but SCIENCE itself.

To broaden our minds, and the minds of others, however much they might scream and bleed at first. To shine the beam of darkness into the well lit pathways of ignorance.  To share the Joy of Baking with those who can't even comprehend the implications of a perfectly "baked" "cookie". To follow in the great footsteps of Rashek and Kelsier, of Marsh and Spook. To become pioneers in our own right. To wade through fire and blood flour and eggs in our pursuit of knowledge.

Also, to make the weirdest things in nonexistence because we can.

That is what we are. That is the Dark Alley.

So have fun! Take chances, make mistakes, get...

MESSY. 

It's a grand time researching with such bright minds, thanks for perpetuating the insanity! 

[Guest Breaker]

Greetings. 

I have been directed to seek out this Alley in my pursuit of BioChromatic Breath, Hemalurgy, and SCIENCE!. 

I am, however, as yet unsure what this group is or what it does. That said, I have a great deal of interest in the acquisition of Investiture.

 

Might I, then, inquire after the nature of this group and how I might acquire some Breath?

[LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian]

Ah, that is very simple. We are a research group who does some cookie selling. Just bring some of our premium spiked cookies to some people with some Breaths, and sell them some cookies to help nourish them after a hard day of Awakening. If you're a DA man you'll know in one of the many hearts you own what to do. And set up in any of those dark alleyways over there for your experiments. I hear there was a recent opening in alley 47 after one of our newer recruits got killed by a lerasium rat. Remember to keep your steel bubble up. Good luck.

 

[DrakeMarshall]

53 minutes ago, LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian said:

We are a research group who does some cookie selling.

Now, this is an interesting philisophical conundrum. Are we a research group who does some cookie selling, or are we a cookie selling group who does some research?

[LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian]

1 hour ago, Drake Marshall said:

Now, this is an interesting philisophical conundrum. Are we a research group who does some cookie selling, or are we a cookie selling group who does some research?

We are both until you open the cookiebox and determine which it is (Schroedingers cat reference).

[MacThorstenson]

Nah, we spiked the laws of physics years ago. Schroedinger's laws dont apply.

[DrakeMarshall]

1 hour ago, MacThorstenson said:

Nah, we spiked the laws of physics years ago. Schroedinger's laws dont apply.

Yes, I remember containing Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle into a spike, then forging it into a sword.

Pretty deadly weapon. You couldn't know both where the blade was and how fast it was moving at the same time.

[LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian]

But the deadliest weapon of all is of course the Photon sword. First off you would have to blind both your self and your opponent, but a sword that can either be a sword or a wave of swords is pretty deadly. As long as you leave no observers.

Edited March 26, 2018 by LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian

[Nohadon]

Hear a rush of wind, and a letter, sealed and marked with “canton of Combat” appears on the seal with twin towers, the letter reads:

Hello Denizens of the Dark alley, I am. Nohadon, The Lord Prelan of the canton of Combat, and I propose a duel, between me and whatever champion you wish to pick, the rules are as follows:

Whoever dies or taps out first loses.

No chromium or perpendicularity making allowed.

I choose the location.

Limit to five “powers” in total (whether this Be allomancy, Feruchemy, surges or aons, each individual surge/metal counts as a power)

Weapons have to be found or makeable during Final Empire Era times, no guns or laser-machine guns 

you may only enter one champion at a time.

the prize for winning will be what they wish, anything short of removing other members or disbanding the guild is allowed.

in the event of my death, @MoHaam will see to your wishes, i’m Sure you will have backup plans when you die as well.

kind regards,

Nohadon

[DrakeMarshall]

Well, this looks promising.

[Voidus]

3 hours ago, Nohadon said:

Hear a rush of wind, and a letter, sealed and marked with “canton of Combat” appears on the seal with twin towers, the letter reads:

Hello Denizens of the Dark alley, I am. Nohadon, The Lord Prelan of the canton of Combat, and I propose a duel, between me and whatever champion you wish to pick, the rules are as follows:

Whoever dies or taps out first loses.

No chromium or perpendicularity making allowed.

I choose the location.

Limit to five “powers” in total (whether this Be allomancy, Feruchemy, surges or aons, each individual surge/metal counts as a power)

Weapons have to be found or makeable during Final Empire Era times, no guns or laser-machine guns 

you may only enter one champion at a time.

the prize for winning will be what they wish, anything short of removing other members or disbanding the guild is allowed.

in the event of my death, @MoHaam will see to your wishes, i’m Sure you will have backup plans when you die as well.

kind regards,

Nohadon

I don't believe I'd survive removing enough spikes to bring myself down to only 5 abilities so I guess I'll pass.

[kenod]

Does the theory behind techniques used have to comply with Final Empire levels of science? And in that case, how about using things such as chromium and bendalloy? Also, does Aons count as a single power, or only the ability to use a specific Aon?

Edit: Just read chromium isn't allowed. Still, my point with using modern metals stands.

Edited March 19, 2018 by kenod

[LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian]

7 hours ago, Nohadon said:

Hear a rush of wind, and a letter, sealed and marked with “canton of Combat” appears on the seal with twin towers, the letter reads:

Hello Denizens of the Dark alley, I am. Nohadon, The Lord Prelan of the canton of Combat, and I propose a duel, between me and whatever champion you wish to pick, the rules are as follows:

Whoever dies or taps out first loses.

No chromium or perpendicularity making allowed.

I choose the location.

Limit to five “powers” in total (whether this Be allomancy, Feruchemy, surges or aons, each individual surge/metal counts as a power)

Weapons have to be found or makeable during Final Empire Era times, no guns or laser-machine guns 

you may only enter one champion at a time.

the prize for winning will be what they wish, anything short of removing other members or disbanding the guild is allowed.

in the event of my death, @MoHaam will see to your wishes, i’m Sure you will have backup plans when you die as well.

kind regards,

Nohadon

I accept this challenge, but you may not use the pioneering feruchemical architecture you have been researching.

[+ElephantEarwax]

What is this treachery.

8 hours ago, Nohadon said:

Hear a rush of wind, and a letter, sealed and marked with “canton of Combat” appears on the seal with twin towers, the letter reads:

Hello Denizens of the Dark alley, I am. Nohadon, The Lord Prelan of the canton of Combat, and I propose a duel, between me and whatever champion you wish to pick, the rules are as follows:

Whoever dies or taps out first loses.

No chromium or perpendicularity making allowed.

I choose the location.

Limit to five “powers” in total (whether this Be allomancy, Feruchemy, surges or aons, each individual surge/metal counts as a power)

Weapons have to be found or makeable during Final Empire Era times, no guns or laser-machine guns 

you may only enter one champion at a time.

the prize for winning will be what they wish, anything short of removing other members or disbanding the guild is allowed.

in the event of my death, @MoHaam will see to your wishes, i’m Sure you will have backup plans when you die as well.

kind regards,

Nohadon

 

[Nohadon]

Just to clarify, use of all aons in aondor count collectively as 1 power (but remember that I choose the location)  modern metals are allowed.

[DrakeMarshall]

On 3/18/2018 at 9:47 PM, Nohadon said:

Hear a rush of wind, and a letter, sealed and marked with “canton of Combat” appears on the seal with twin towers, the letter reads:

Hello Denizens of the Dark alley, I am. Nohadon, The Lord Prelan of the canton of Combat, and I propose a duel, between me and whatever champion you wish to pick, the rules are as follows:

Whoever dies or taps out first loses.

No chromium or perpendicularity making allowed.

I choose the location.

Limit to five “powers” in total (whether this Be allomancy, Feruchemy, surges or aons, each individual surge/metal counts as a power)

Weapons have to be found or makeable during Final Empire Era times, no guns or laser-machine guns 

you may only enter one champion at a time.

the prize for winning will be what they wish, anything short of removing other members or disbanding the guild is allowed.

in the event of my death, @MoHaam will see to your wishes, i’m Sure you will have backup plans when you die as well.

kind regards,

Nohadon

Lord Prelan Nohadon!

As per the dueling codes of 1777, sections XV and XVI, "the challenged has the right to choose his own weapon, unless the challenger gives his honor he is no swordsman; after which, however, he can decline any second species of weapon proposed by the challenged. The challenged chooses his ground, the challenger chooses his distance, the seconds fix the time and terms of firing."

Thus, it is the right of the challenged to choose the location for duelling, though it is your right as challenger to position yourself on said location before the duel commences. As the Lord Prelan of a canton rich in the traditions of combat, I am sure you understand the importance of dueling codes.

 

I would further like to clarify the terms of this duel.

For one, let us stipulate that both parties shall name the prize they would exact from the other, should they be victorious. The duel will not commence until both parties agree on the prize named by the other party.

Let us also stipulate that the duel shall continue until one party yields, is incapacitated, or is killed.

In addition to the restrictions you have already outlined, the use of type IV awakened entities will be forbidden.

Lets us finally stipulate that an odd number of impartial moderators must preside over the duel, no fewer than one.

 

Are these amendments and clarifications to the terms of the duel generally acceptable?

[The Forgetful Archivist]

Sounds fair enough. Altho the Code Duello (which I assume you are referring to) calls for the two parties to fight with the same weapon, are we going to do that too?  

Edited March 20, 2018 by The Forgetful Archivist

[Nohadon]

6 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Lord Prelan Nohadon!

As per the dueling codes of 1777, sections XV and XVI, "the challenged has the right to choose his own weapon, unless the challenger gives his honor he is no swordsman; after which, however, he can decline any second species of weapon proposed by the challenged. The challenged chooses his ground, the challenger chooses his distance, the seconds fix the time and terms of firing."

Thus, it is the right of the challenged to choose the location for duelling, though it is your right as challenger to position yourself on said location before the duel commences. As the Lord Prelan of a canton rich in the traditions of combat, I am sure you understand the importance of dueling codes.

 

I would further like to clarify the terms of this duel.

For one, let us stipulate that both parties shall name the prize they would exact from the other, should they be victorious. The duel will not commence until both parties agree on the prize named by the other party.

Let us also stipulate that the duel shall continue until one party yields, is incapacitated, or is killed.

In addition to the restrictions you have already outlined, the use of type IV awakened entities will be forbidden.

Lets us finally stipulate that an odd number of impartial moderators must preside over the duel, no fewer than one.

 

Are these amendments and clarifications to the terms of the duel generally acceptable?

We have a deal, it will take place between I and @LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian, he may pick the location, but there will be no use of feruchemical architecture.