Voidus

People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

2,046 posts in this topic

On 1/10/2018 at 1:30 AM, Voidus said:

Didn't someone start using that place as storage for our spare intelligence spikes? Last I heard the penguins had build a giant death star like construction.

Yes, we were actually testing whether their tendencies towards colonization lead to militarized conglomorations or individualized territorially focused pseudosocieties.

However, our research primarily shows that intelligence spikes have simply lead to a proclivity for puns. While in the field I heard a plethora of puns, such as: "My mother is getting older, I think she may be hard of herring." and "My cousin was a travelling salesman, but he wasn't very good. He could never seal the deal."  and "Teeth."

So far I have classified this as a rousing success. Further testing currently underway.

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A door opens from the end of the alley, a young man with a black waistcoat and pants, with a tattered shirt walks through, Hey there! I’m looking for some spikes  I... mean... Cookies! You see, our Canton of Combat is running pretty low, how much would they be? I can only pay in boxings or spheres, I’m rather low in funds...

additonally, due to our... er... Proximity... we would like a representative come join! I nominate @Maelstrom for the position!

Edited by Nohadon
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would love to spread our spi... hemal... wonderful ideas all around the Canton of Combat, @Nohadon

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sweet! So, about  the price for th cookies?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Depends, our pricing is generally focused on three things.

1. How many cookies, if you buy in bulk, we sell cheaper.

2. Cost of transportation. Due to the fact that you are in an under ground fighting club, we could open up an alley right next door, or even into the main fighting room. This would cause transportation costs to be 0. 

3. Whether or not you are returning your spikes. The spikes are expensive and we would rather like to keep the stolen investiture. If you don't want spikes in your cookies and/or you return the spikes, then the price of the cookies drops.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We would like to buy 80 cookies in jars, spikes included, and since my place is literally the next door, transportation should be Zero!

we only have 3,000 boxings in total, our spending limit is 500, or 80 Broams (Diamond, not Emerald)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It should be about 400 boxings to buy all of the cookies. If you would like, because these are prepaid, we could distribute them for free from the spikesulate. Though if you wan't to distribute them, that is understandable.

Did you find the disclaimer?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We also accept appropriately preserved spirit fragments, firstborns, and Eyes.

Especially Eyes.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or the scream of an eldritch horror beyond human comprehension, birthed from a dimension of chaos and darkness.We only have one of the smaller infinities of them and R&D have them booked out. I want to test this theory on acoustic resonance and Connection.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I offer a special discount in exchange for identity spikes. Particularly atium ones, because unlike the aluminium ones, you can engrave those with forgeries.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been nominated to join the little dark alley bake sale by @MacThorstenson because of my interest in nigh infinite cookie potential from rats.

What do I need to do?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, The Gecko said:

What do I need to do?

@The Gecko All you need to do is make cookie sale and then you'll be free to move up in one of our many state-of-the-art laboratories and start researching Hemalurgy. Good luck! Also, what do you mean by cookie potential from rats?

Edited by The Forgetful Archivist
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, The Forgetful Archivist said:

@The Gecko All you need to do is make cookie sale and then you'll be free to move up in one of our many state-of-the-art laboratories and start researching Hemalurgy. Good luck! Also, what do you mean by cookie potential from rats?

He pointed out that if we gave rats lerasium and they were able to burn it, we could breed them rapidly and use them to farm hemalurgic spikes en masse.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@MacThorstenson A certain two-armed Herdazian may be currently looking for work. Pretty interested in Hemallurgy theories. Oh, and I love cookies. Making ‘em, spiking ‘em, convincing people that they should eat them.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome, all you need to do to join is sell someone one of our cookies on the introduction threads! Once you do that, you will be a full member of the dark alley.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't find out if they accept it, but just offering the cookie is enough.

Welcome to the DA!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Full Disclosure: I have sworn the first shydeal of the Knights Awkward. Will this interfere with my cookie selling duties?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After having looked over their oaths and the manner in which you said them, I wouldn't think so. At our heart, we are scientists, bakers, and businessmen. So long as your oaths don't impact all of those duties you should be fine. 
 

Also, you don't have to sell cookies past the first. Personally I find it beneficial to do all three, theorize, sell cookies, and bake, but you don't have to. 

@LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian

I Have found it useful to use this link to recruit more people.

 

Edited by MacThorstenson
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Which part of baking? The part that coincides with our Hemallurgical research, or our research into how delicious a foodstuff can be?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good, job on the cookies!
The Baking can apply to either part. The more delicious the cookies/assorted baked goods are, the more people will eat them.

Also, word to the wise, it's considered bad form to post multiple times in a row, if you have more information that you want to add, it's advised to edit your previous post or wait till someone else posts.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. I’m quite inexperienced on the 17th shard. So, here’s a question. In a perfect world, where all alleys are dark alleys, do we still sell cookies, or do we share our cookies with our dark alley brothers in exchange for baking and theorizing work? Or will we create a monopoly and then slowly bring up our prices without losing customers because we have reached a level of baking where our cookies are incredibly addictive? Either way, I’m game.

Edited by LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.