blad3mast3r

Stormlight Archive joke (again.)

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Why'd the axehound cross the dirt path?

To get to the other side.

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What did Kaladin say to Syl when she constantly kept pranking people? "Stop being so Sylly"


Yeah, that was utterly terrible, may I be sent to Damnation for this :P

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Why'd the axehound cross the dirt path?

To get to the other side.

 

Dirt? What is dirt?

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It occurs to me that the Stormlight Archive would be hilarious as a campaign, Darths and Droids style webcomic.

Seth: The Kings at the end of the hall? I charge at him with my sword!

Brendan: You can't. The hall has stone flagstones, and you have the Stone Shaman flaw, remember?

Seth: Then I run along the wall with my magic!

Calvin: Wall-running? Sweet. Remind me to take the Wind-Runner class when we level up.

Edited by Quiver
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It occurs to me that the Stormlight Archive would be hilarious as a campaign, Darths and Droids style webcomic.

Seth: The Kings at the end of the hall? I charge at him with my sword!

Brendan: You can't. The hall has stone flagstones, and you have the Stone Shaman flaw, remember?

Seth: Then I run along the wall with my magic!

Calvin: Wall-running? Sweet. Remind me to take the Wind-Runner class when we level up.

 

WoR spoilers:

"The king's guard sucks in Stormlight, healing his severed arm!"

 

"I chop it off again."

 

"Wait, what? Seth, this event shakes your character's worldview at a deep, visceral level. It means that everything he's fought and suffered for has been a lie. You don't think he'd have some sort of existential breakdown?"

 

"Alright, fine. I chop off the guard's head, stab the king, then go back to the lost city-thing to brood a while."

Edited by Kobold King
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It occurs to me that the Stormlight Archive would be hilarious as a campaign, Darths and Droids style webcomic.

Seth: The Kings at the end of the hall? I charge at him with my sword!

Brendan: You can't. The hall has stone flagstones, and you have the Stone Shaman flaw, remember?

Seth: Then I run along the wall with my magic!

Calvin: Wall-running? Sweet. Remind me to take the Wind-Runner class when we level up.

 

Inspired by the Darths and Droids cast page:

 

Player Characters

 

Szeth son-son Vallano played by Jim.

 

Jim is a rather gung-ho roleplayer, interested in action, cool fight scenes, and lucrative spoils over careful consideration or puzzle solving. He frequently acts before he thinks, which includes fixating on his own strange explanations for setting details that the GM hasn't explained yet.

 

Kaladin Stormblessed played by Ben.

 

Ben is a thoughtful roleplayer who tries to think through the best course of action within his character concept and the setting. He enjoys coming up with clever ways to justify the success of his plans within the premises of the setting.

 

Sylphrena played by Sally.

 

Sally is Ben's younger sister. Ben took her along to the game one evening when his parents couldn't get a babysitter for the night. The GM quickly generated an spren character for her to play so she wouldn't get bored. She enjoys the make-believe aspect of the game, but has some trouble separating it from reality.

 

Shallan Davar played by Annie.

 

Annie is an acquaintance of Ben's, who attends his drama classes. She was interested to come along and see what this "roleplaying games" thing was all about, after Ben described it to her as a sort of improvisational acting thing. She is dedicated to playing her character as a real, complex person with motivations inspired by a well-considered backstory.

 

Pattern played by Pete.

 

Pete is an old friend of Jim's. Jim invited him along to join in this new game. Pete designed a character to maximise all the skills he thought would come in most useful in an epic fantasy game filled with courtly intrigue and conspiracies, at the cost of becoming a sentient geometric pattern with no arms.

 

 

Non-Player Characters

 

Dalinar Kholin

 

Dalinar Kholin is a Highprince of the Alethi people on the Shattered Plains. His main concern is recovering the mystical Lost Oaths of Phanastacoria, a powerful set of magic words capable of protecting his people from any attack.

 

Jasnah Kholin

 

Jasnah Kholin is a princess of the Alethi society. She is known for staunch atheism, heresy, and a midnight habit of prowling the streets and smiting evildoers with her magic powers. How exactly she gets away with this is a mystery.

 

Wit

 

Wit is the royal jester of King Elhokar. He trusts him implicitly, but Kaladin suspects Wit is up to some sort of nefarious plotting behind the throne to take absolute power into his own greedy hands. Who is right remains to be seen.

 

King Taravangian

 

Taravangian is the monarch of Kharbranth. As such, his job is to keep his people and foreign dignitaries out of trouble, which seems to be a very difficult thing to do with all these Surgebinders around.

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Q: What do you call a pleasant chasmfiend?

A: A chasmfriend.

Sorry.

 

 

 

 

sigh...

 

Dammit.

 

stormlight___chasmfriend_by_inkthinker-d

 

I hope you're proud of yourself. I haven't illustrated a silly kid's joke in 15 years. I left that life behind, man... :D

Edited by Inkthinker
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What's the difference between a Ryshadium and the Weeping?

One is reined up and the other rains down

 

x.x

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