5/22/23 - Ace of Hearts - Bond of Wildflowers v2 sub 14, 2092 words (VG)

[Ace of Hearts Misting]

Tagged for mentions of violence and gore.

 

Hi everyone! I want to give anyone interested a chance to catch up, but I also don't want to go multiple weeks between subs and have people forget everything so I'm opting for a shorter sub. Thanks!

[Mandamon Midnight Essence]

This had some good movement to it, and we learn some interesting things about B. I like W's little revelation. That's something I like in general about this book: people don't wallow in their errors forever. They make decisions and realize how they can change.

I'm still getting a little mixed up on characters, now everyone's in play. Especially with who is who's child and how the three (four?) factions relate to each other. Having a little more setup earlier in the book would help.

I can feel things wrapping up, though! How many more submissions do you estimate?

Notes while reading

pg 1: "makes them sound closer to a plea than a threat"
--Why desperation? She seems to be fine with murder. Is there a reason she won't do it to W?

pg 2: "But I can’t let myself get stuck on that"
--Again, B flat out murdered someone, and they seem to be glossing over it.

pg 2: "Sure, she killed F in cold blood"
--not really a "sure" kind of statement...

pg 3: “Then let me help you escape your father.”
--okay, slightly confused on genealogy here, likely WRS.
B is sibling to N and H, but by a different father? She's A.J.'s daughter, yes? but why did their mother shack up with him?

pg 5: "put on that ridiculous outfit and style himself as a colonial explorer"
--definitely need more background on A and the organization here. I'm getting a little lost with the details.

pg 7: “Good thing I made it in time.”
--could be a stronger end to the chapter. He was just there, right? So he probably wasn't too far away when W was freed. Maybe something like, "Good think I didn't go far?"

[Ace of Hearts Misting]

On 5/25/2023 at 4:32 PM, Mandamon said:

This had some good movement to it, and we learn some interesting things about B. I like W's little revelation. That's something I like in general about this book: people don't wallow in their errors forever. They make decisions and realize how they can change.

I'm still getting a little mixed up on characters, now everyone's in play. Especially with who is who's child and how the three (four?) factions relate to each other. Having a little more setup earlier in the book would help.

I can feel things wrapping up, though! How many more submissions do you estimate?

Thanks for your comments! I have a feeling there's going to be more confusion with the characters in the next couple of subs since there's a lot of characters turning on each other pretty quickly. I'll take a step back and reassess once I'm through submitting the whole thing.

There's 15k words left, so probably 4-5 subs. Which was more than I was expecting based on how far we are, so there could potentially be room to cut down.