Jump to content

The Iconar Collective


Channelknight Fadran

Recommended Posts

I figured I should make a thread specifically for the redraft and redone worldbuilding. If you want to read all my old chapters then just go here, but I don't think they're all that good so... I dunno. You do you.

As I add stuff here I'll also compile it into the OP for easy access. It'll mostly be worldbuilding and such rather than additional chapters because I'm hoping for this to be a publishable roughie (that is to say I won't have to completely redo the book from scratch again in order to make it viable for editing).

Buuuuuuuut here's Chapter 1 anyways:

Spoiler

For Ivinan - I
Corrin | Shadelight | Camp Foliage


    A few bits of frost had decided to pinch down the edges of each blade of grass this week, crunching a little under Corrin’s steps in the stretches of unkemptness between the road and the encampment. Despite the ground’s insistence at calling out his presence to anyone within earshot, the air wasn’t quite so bad today. His breath could only barely be seen when he puffed, and with his hands firmly shoved into his pockets, all of it was quite comfortable.
    It might’ve helped, of course, that his destination was just maybe twelve or so meters away. Two large, plank-wood posts were set at the end of the frosty-grass stretch, each guarded by a couple bored-looking lieutenants from the Royal Army. Their gray-and-gold uniforms would’ve been an interesting contrast to the pale forest and dead grass had it not been for the amount of old dirtiness they’d clearly been accumulating for what could’ve been several months.
Both of the men glanced up at Corrin as he passed their old, decrepit station. According to what he’d been told, each passerby was to be questioned, identified, and examined, but these men barely moved to even look at him. As if any single traveler could do any damage to an Enclave camp: the sudden thought of that almost made him snort.
Deeper into the forest now and walking over slightly soggy gravel, the distant sounds of chatter, clanging, and other telltale ambiance of the warcamp began to sift through the air on the breeze. A little grin began tugging at the edge of his lips: the nervous, antsy kind. Suddenly he was more than aware of just how he was breathing, walking, wobbling slightly from side to side… how had he done all that so easily just a few seconds ago?
The flags were in view just minutes later, each emblazoned with a pattern of ranked colors, with the Icon of the Collective made of three crossed blades set against the shape of a shield. The banners were mostly hanging limp at the moment on the walls, most tattered and stained. Each one, more or less, had a lieutenant manning it. Most were leaning against the turrets, spears set aside haphazardly. 
The gate was wide open, and the four lieutenants guarding it barely glanced as Corrin made to pass through. One massive painted emblem of the Silverclad Enclave still bore brightly against the wood and stone above it, heralding any who entered to the outpost’s purpose. The buildings and tents were clearly visible now: barrack cabins were set up in columns by the middle, meeting chambers were strewn about in a seemingly random pattern, and a large stone keep sat directly in the middle, surrounded by soldier-manned walls. 
Filling it all, men and women—whether soldiers, prospectives, or anything else—stood in groups to mingle and chat. Nobody paid Corrin heed as he entered, which was plenty fine by him. They’d probably seen dozens of his like even just this morning alone. It wasn’t particularly often that the Enclave opened up their doors for recruiting, so weeks like these probably soaked in travelers far abroad.
He spent maybe six or twelve minutes trying to navigate the place, building a basic mental map of the area. The barracks were constructed in columns spread maybe two stones’ throw apart each, with the space in the middle taking up all the various utilities. Thus far he’d found two mess ‘halls,’ a slew of fire pits, four commanders’ tents, three armories, and—not far from the center—a smithy, which by the sounds of it was hard at work.
All this was just one outpost? Every camp was designed to have twelve such rings in total arrayed outside the heart, each with a Regent retaining full jurisdiction over it in case of invasion to optimize order and defense. And yet this place alone seemed to be more than enough to hold several dozen squadrons.
I guess I’ve just never seen an entire army before, Corrin thought to himself. Ten thousand soldiers, strikers, and captains was a number he’d probably never seen, let alone camped into such a small area. Suddenly, his distant view of the back wall shifted from awe to slight claustrophobia.
As his idle wanderings carried on, Corrin began to glance around more in confusion. Where exactly were the recruitment stations? He hadn’t seen any lines by the buildings are crowds clustered into any specific tents. Come to think of it, a lot of the other recent arrivals he’d seen were also looking rather confused. Would they eventually be called somewhere to sign up all at once? Were they expected to be able to find the station? No… that couldn’t be right.
Maybe it was a more unspoken form of contract: by entering the camp in the first place, they agreed to all the terms.
Well… I guess what else would anyone be doing here today? Corrin mused.
Not that this discovery solved much of anything, but at least he was feeling a tad bit more confident in his being here. Satisfied, Corrin took a seat on the nearest bench and decided to wait.

Aurora | Fledgelight | Tiseri

    Stepping out of the gateway, Aurora shook her head like an animal just come out from a spray of water. The trip hadn’t felt like anything at all, despite her sudden involuntary reaction. She’d expected more of the milky-white gateway behind her, but from the second she’d entered and stepped through, her sight hadn’t been distorted or hindered for all but a moment in the seemingly razor-thin stretch of glowing white ethereum.
    Traveling through the Parallarity was like stepping through any other doorway, save for the curtain of opaque, liquidy fog directly down the center. Looking into it from one end didn’t show a thing of the other, but taking the path through didn’t skip a single beat of the world shifting about.
    No, that wasn’t what caused the shivering. Nevermind that the Parallarity somehow connected the two gateways like a hole in a coin, or that she could comfortably walk a full circle around the bulky stone pillars without truly seeing the other side. It wasn’t that. Magical transportation was something she could wrap her head around.
    It was just that it had taken her right from Feylore to here in Midway… billions and billions of kilometers away.
    Lacy bumped into her from behind, grunting a word that a girl of her age really hadn’t any business uttering. Short, blonde, freckled; she stumbled backwards, rubbing her head. “Ow. Geeze, Amy…”
    “Ack, sorry…” Aurora grabbed Lacy’s wrist and squeezed it apologetically. “Vertigo, y’know?”
    “Yeah, sure.” She blinked herself of the daze, then started walking away from the portal with Aurora. 
Hordes of people were still coming through to this side, striding towards the exit. The sides of the gates were synced accurately, so one side could filter a constant inward stream, while the other would allow anyone to walk out. Just a few meters away from the two of them was a crowd of vanis, drakes, shades, and even a few sprites shuffling past each other to reach the gate. As they walked into the doorway they vanished into the mist, appearing at the other end way back in Feylore. Meanwhile, the travelers from Feylore—mostly elves, but with a few mixed peoples here and there—streamed out the other side. It was in one side and out the other, but just so… off. Wrong.
“Holy yikes.” Lacy said as she matched Aurora’s gaze. “It looks like the second half of a circle when you try to draw it freehand on the street.”
Aurora snorted. “Well okay.”
“Well, whatever—come on!” Lacy grabbed Aurora’s wrist back, now tugging on her. “Let’s get moving. You ever miss a boat before?”
“Well… no.”
“Neither’ve I, but I doubt it’s a very fun experience.”
Soon they were both half-walking, half-jogging through the crowds, pushing from empty patch to empty patch within the massive marble cathedral built around what was—other than the glowing magic curtain of teleportation, of course—a rather dull-looking pile of uniform rocks. Gods, whenever the Parallels passed away from their kingdom, the gates weren’t anything more than that anyways.
Most groups packed around the walls and pillars, so the space between was wide open for foot traffic. The crowd thinned near the exit, leaving the massive stretch of marble stairways wide open for the two of them. Lacy pulled Aurora along at a surprisingly awkward pace for her size, grasping her little bag of belongings tight in her other hand. The two of them ran forwards together, pushing out from the light of the fire and luminites towards, instead, the light of day.
The Shadelight sun cast glowing silver rays over all the city of Tiseri, gleaming off rooftops and streets still wet from melted snow they could still see drifting away from some clouds off in the distance. Colossal mountains, gigantic-treed forests, fields of hills running miles long, and a little speck of a distant realm glowing off in the sky made up the horizon and space above. 
Marble stairs led down to a blurry distance into the city, each wide and broad enough to accommodate several groups of chattering friends and families. The cathedral was built on a hilltop, so the steps near the summit were largely unhindered. As it neared the bottom, however, the city began to creep up along the slopes. Shops, inns, homes, and markets covered the edges and sides. Wood, stone, bricks, and everything in between constructed the entirety of it all, built in everything ranging from little huts to cascading lines of walls, pillars, and rooftops.
In the high light of day, everyone bustled about from place to place. Children chased each other in their games, teenagers not much older than the two of them filed out their school buildings, and men at the markets continued selling out their wares, the prices steep and lucrative with the onset of the Shadelight. Even from here, the noise filled the air with a clamoring richness.
Aurora found herself blinking, trying to adjust—though not to the brightness.
They ended up breaking contact to descend the stairs, both going at their own pace (Lacy had to stop periodically and let Aurora catch up, bouncing impatiently a few stairs down). Neither of them said a word on the way down, both silently staring—gawking, really—and taking it all in.
Just a few minutes later, they’d reached the edge of the city proper. The two of them packed together and watched the world from their hunkered stances, like children by their parents at a fair. Shouts came from everywhere: slews of merchants calling out their wares and prices, old friends sharing the latest gossip, local police chasing after vagabond children, animals being led to their buyers… all completely different, but somehow just like the sounds of their old home.
“Don’t get too used to it,” Lacy warned. “We’re not gonna be here for even a day at this rate.”
Lacy was right, according to their travel schedule. Was it really possible that this entire city could be traversed in just a few hours? She’d have believed it if they were on mountback, but not on foot.
An hour is a long time, Aurora thought to herself. And a lot can happen when you put them together.
They dropped off the last stair—Aurora with a stride, Lacy with a leap. The uneven cobblestones were quite the change from the smooth, polished marble they’d just ben walking down, but it wasn’t anything unfamiliar at all. An awful lot of their previous livelihood had been traveling around on streets just like this.
Most travelers probably never bothered to look, but the two of them were acutely aware of every orphan, vagabond, and ‘unruly riffraff’ sitting in the shadows, just out of sight. The kids might’ve been trying to escape the hellscapes of the worst orphanages; might’ve just been ignored by the people in charge of throwing them there in the first place. They’d known both over the years.
Lacy’s hand suddenly shot into the air. “Hiya! Hey!”
Aurora frowned and followed her gaze to a man traveling by wagon down the road. “What…”
“You headed downhill?”
The man blinked, but nodded. “Uh… yeah.”
“Mind if we hop in?”
He glanced over his shoulder, then looked back. “I guess so?”
Lacy grabbed Aurora, smiling at the man as she jumped into the wagon. “Thanks!
“Um… Lace…”
“What?” Lacy set her bag down and stretched. “Just means we’ll have time for lunch before we get out of the city, and gods am I famished.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
“Ey, we do it all the time.”
“This isn’t Elsinia. It’s…” Aurora struggled for the words. Not our city.
Lacy shrugged. “He said it’s okay, so it’s okay. Look, we gotta make time. And we’re in Midway now, yeah? Headed to Ivinan. Where folks go to make the whole world their own.”
“We’re not there yet, Lace.”
“Darn right. ‘S my point.”
Aurora hung her head and sighed, but said nothing else as the wagon rolled along down the street.

Corrin | Shadelight | Camp Foliage

    The bell in the center began ringing maybe a couple idle strolls around the camp later, attracting in all the other prospectives to conglomerate by the keep. Corrin strode in down a line of cabins, following suit. So they were finally going to explain things? About time.
    The crowds were around the outer walls of the keep, packing into a tighter group to look up at the figures standing behind the turrets. They all appeared to be squadron captains, standing in full uniform and full salute: blue button-up jackets with silver trim, the Enclave emblem over the chest pocket, crossed by one arm to the left shoulder and the other to the elbow. The Regent commander was standing right over the gate into the keep in the middle of them each, uniform a strangely respectable shade of purple. He looked over the crowd of prospective soldiers, nodding appreciatively. By the time the majority had filed in he cleared his throat. 
Everyone went silent.
“As of now, all of you are officially Enclave cadets!” He announced. “Congratulations, I suppose, to those of you who managed to hitch a wagon ride here.”
That elicited a few chuckles here and there, but he didn’t seem the least bit amused.
“Based on approximation, in this outpost alone, there are nearly five hundred of you. In all the camp outskirts, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are upwards of six thousand.” The Regent glanced over the crowds one more time, gauging their response. “If all of you were fully-trained soldiers, I could oust every last demon hiding in the south’s crevices within the next Passing… but the amount of you who could actually contribute to that kind of thing?”
He leaned forwards.
“I’d argue maybe two or three dozen.”
A few of them started muttering, but as the Regent continued they either silenced themselves or each other.
“I’m not here to mince words. The vast majority of you lack the strength to survive even just a few minutes on the battlefield, and the rest couldn’t hold their position against an onslaught of demons without screaming like a child. If you think that you can brute force yourself through all the training and battles to come, then—put simply—you are wrong.
“The strongest among you can be the weakest-willed, and those who push themselves to the absolute peak of their abilities… they lack the abilities to push themselves towards. If any of you came here after mastering one thing and leaning on that, then think again: because you will be the first to die.”
Nobody moved a muscle. Not a single voice, breath, cough, or anything else was heard.
“I’ll have captain Dain l’Gari explain the selection process now.” The Regent nodded at the nearest captain, then exchanged seats with him to let the other man speak.
Captain Dain carried a sort of weight about him. Not in a physical sense—though Corrin doubted that his tough, soldier-born frame of his was light—but in a more commanding sort of way. He looked like the sort of man who could quiet an entire tavern just by entering. His uniform was perfectly groomed and straight, hair cut evenly to the shape of his head, and the hilt of his sword poking out from the black leather sheath.
“Before I continue, let me clarify one thing,” the captain said. “Hundreds have died in our selections before. We have contingencies and systems to send the failed ones back home, but we are not perfect. On the battlefield we defend our comrades, but by in large the greatest killer here is by the individuals lacking the initiative to protect themselves.
“In the event that you are in extreme danger, there will be no shame in running for your life and finding the nearest proctors. You will be disqualified. We won’t hold that against you in future recruitments, nor will we record or distribute exact details. Simply, you will be forgotten: it’s more important to us to direct our attention to the ones that made it.
“When we say you may die, it is because almost every single cadet to lose their life in the selections has died because they chose to ‘tough out’ a situation that they were simply incapable of handling. Willpower will not grant you strength: know your limits.”
Corrin swallowed and glanced around him, a little unsure. Gazes searching for some kind of validation were being cast about by almost everyone. Some cadets bit their lips and furrowed their brows; others pinched their temples and squeezed their eyes shut. Had that many of them really not made up their minds about this yet?
Had he made up his?
“The selection will begin at dawn, two days from now.” The captain’s demeanor had changed. Somehow it had gone from precaution to instruction in just a matter of moments. “Every cadet who stays until then will receive a single pack of various supplies, with which they will embark on our journey to Camp Ember, at the edge of the Broken Fields.
“The first leg of the journey will take us to the town of Salady. That’s a little under a week’s time to complete along the road. However…”
Only his voice changed—not a shift or nudge in his posture.
“All of you will be traveling through the forest, and are expected to rendevous with the rest of the army in twelve days.” He nodded and saluted. “That is all.”
The chatter immediately broke out again. Cadets turned to their companions, questions and worries flying from their mouths. They packed into groups of friends, leaving Corrin to hear their conversations as little more than a bystander.
“One pack of supplies each? Will that last us through the woods for a week?”
“We’re gonna have to scavenge for supplies. Tsk. Anyone worth his boots can do that.”
“But the Broken Fields aren’t anything like the forests. You don’t hafta scrounge for berries and rivers in the army… ‘least I don’t hope so.”
“Why test us now? Isn’t this what training’s for? Let the soldiers take the forest: bring us to the camp and show us how to fight already. We’ll prove ourselves later.”
Corrin frowned and glanced at the ground, thinking. Headed through the forest made sense enough to him. It would test basic survival skills and instincts: all things one would need to make it through a battlefield. And that warning the captain gave… he guessed that as long as they knew which side of the road they were on, it couldn’t be that hard to run out and find the soldiers if someone needed to throw in the towel.
All the logistics made sense, but something was still bugging him. Just something about the captain’s demeanor had struck him as odd. Sure, giving the weak cadets the option to bail now was important, but these kinds of decisions were two-sided. That meant that the warning was both a chance for backing out… but at the same time, it was the first choice for them to make towards moving onward.
The selection wasn’t beginning in two days: in fact, it had already begun.

That's it for now. I'm just getting the thread-making out of the way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm really really really really really bored so I'm going to post information for each Realm.

The Iconar Collective: Geography and Demography

Spoiler

The Collective consists of six planetary Realms orbiting a perfect quaduary star system (four equally-sized stars in a perfect circle - don't question it, it's magic), and a single smaller planet in the center of it all. The Realm in the center is known as Midway [name subject to change] and rotates from north to south - perpendicular to the rest of the system. The four stars are named Fledge, Cinder, Dusk, and Shade; and as they draw closer to each Realm they influence the seasons.

The six realms: They're arranged in perfect equidistance from each other. Again - magic.

  • Ivinan - home to the Ivari
  • Feylore - home to the Fey
  • Sunkane - home to the Demons
  • Drakefell - home to the Drakes
  • Carnon - home to the Sprites
  • Vitera - home to the Shades

The four seasons: Each is one week long (twelve days), with a month being a full four-week cycle.

  • Fledgelight (spring)
  • Cinderlight (summer)
  • Dusklight (autumn)
  • Shadelight (winter)

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ivinan - The Realm of Ivari and Arcana

Spoiler

History

The people of Ivinan were the first of every realm to militarize, forming their first broad societies into feudal territories. Several centuries of conflict between nobles forged the same bloodlines that rule the kingdom to this day, wiping out entire families to bring rise to the big seven: Alnia, Potin, Sawngat, Kuishen, Gilgandar, Quen, and Ilur. They eventually unified under a more diplomatic competition for power, each vying for an heir to the Grand Throne by any means necessary--marriage, assassination, contract, blackmail, etc. The same methods are used between successions in battles of land, resources, and political favor.

Upon the founding of the Parallarity, the dukedoms turned their gazes to other opportunities. While the kingdom forged treaties and alliances (most notably with Feylore and Sunkane), the families began privately and quietly funding militias and armies. As peace turned to conflict, they combined their forces into one great pool of soldiers and generals, known as the Goldenrod Enclave. No one dukedom had enough military power to fight an entire realm, so this unification was devised. By contributing soldiers, weapons, resources, infrastructure, etc. in the wars against Drakefell and Carnon, they continued to subtly vy for power and influence.

This era ended when the Order of the Channelknights was founded. Land and prisoners were returned (though not without their prices), and the grand quest for war profiteering was ended. The dukedoms continued passively funding their militias, of course, but turned their gazes back to political and diplomatic influence over martial prowess. Efforts for an alliance with Vitera all failed due to the realm's lack of governmental structure, and while the conflict between Ivinan and Carnon slowly faded away, the hatred against Drakefell remained strong.

Of course, the Fall of the Channelknights brought this peace crashing down. As it was Sunkane's own Grand Elite who betrayed and destroyed the order, all alliances with the realm were shattered almost immediately. The dukedoms gladly broke out their military reserves and restarted funding martial ventures, pushing for an even greater unification of forces in order to push back against Sunkane. While Vitera and Feylore opted to stay as neutral as possible (both, however, profited greatly from subtly assisting the new alliance), Ivinan was pushed to ally with Carnon and Drakefell--very begrudgingly.

This new unification was named similarly to the last: in the year 2 of the Purification Era, the Silverclad Enclave was born. Militaristically, it was overwhelmingly consisted of Ivinan's soldliers. Drakefell wound up supplying mostly weapons and armor, while Carnon contributed barely anything. During this time, Ivinan accrued even more power and influence over the entire Collective, becoming arguably the most powerful of all the realms (tied with Sunkane).

Thus it remains up until the book series...

The Culture

In case you can't tell, Ivinan is the most humanistic of all the realms. It's largely based on the "medieval" era of Europe (put in quotations because I know you history geeks are gonna dunk on me about how the medieval era was actually then not then and had this but not that and, like... just shush. I mean back in the time when people had swords and wizards still existed and scud).

For any given person in Ivinan, the overwhelming likelihood is that they're a farmer. Despite all the political intrigue and militarism, Ivinan is by and large an agricultural kingdom. Most people will never be directly affected by what the big royal families do to and with each other, let alone care. They're born to their family's farm, learn to work it, then inherit it when they grow up. Some might be lucky enough to be born into a bit of wealth, hire some hands, and grow their franchise, but generally that's the extent of it.

However, Ivinan's prosperity means that it's far from airtight. It's entirely possible for anyone with enough tenacity, luck, and hard work to get ahead. Some will hone their magical abilities to get accepted into the Arcane Academy, opening up a whole world of career options from there. Others might try a pot at the Silverclad Enclave, serving their kingdom for a life of adventure (and relative job security at the cost of constant mortal peril). It's also not unheard of for commoners to run in with the smaller noble houses and marry into wealth, securing better lives for their children. Many will become merchants, craftsmen, or work in some other kind of trade.

On the other hand, though, it's also not difficult for the wealthy to fail and fall hard. It's incredibly important for the smaller noble houses to stay in favor with their superiors, as estates and equivalents are essentially playthings for the dukedoms. Entire ruling families can be ousted from their position at a moment's notice, whether it be as a punishment or due to their superiors replacing them as a prize for some other servant. Due to this, the best nobles learn to diversify their resources. They'll often invest in their neighbors and friends as a fallback, building relations to stay afloat for at least the rest of their own lives.

Similarly, most non-inheritor noble children will seek out alternate careers. Many will start businesses, trade caravans, or even buy out some of their family's own land to start their own estate. Some will become instruments for their family, turning their lives to intrigue and manipulation. Most daughters will become socialites to marry into other families, though it's certainly not unheard of for sons to do the same. Lateborn and illegitimate children will either wind up working with the uprosen commoners in trades. Most black market associates, spies, and assassins are actually noble by birth.

Arcana

The magic of Ivinan is that of the Collectives' physical elements, whose patron god is referred to as the Hand of Icona. There are six elements known as the Arcana, and their wielders Evokers. Most casters of this magic will only specifiy in a single Arcana, though it's completely possible to grow proficient in several or even master all six.

  • Solids - The element of stone, wood, and metal. Solids casters move the most rigid and heavy of things by strength and assertion.
  • Fluids - The element of water, blood, and rain. Fluids casters direct the flow of these things, leaning the movements this way and that.
  • Vapors - The element of air, mist, and vacuum. Vapors casters deviate the chaotic path that every miniscule particle follows in unseeable pushes and pulls.
  • Kinetics - The element of motion and potentiality. Kinetics casters can move the unmovable and cease the falls with their intimate knowledge of the worlds' mechanics.
  • Polaritary - The element of lightning and magnetics. Polarity casters can redirect the likes of even light itself by controlling the duality of attractions.
  • Calorics - The element of fire and heat. Calorics casters refine the position and concentration of energy to bring heat to even the coldest of places.

Small Stuff

Uhh... I don't really know what to put here? I can't very well go through every single town, city, subculture, norm, more, career, and institution.

So here's a list of stuff that I've actually decided upon:

  • Corrin's from Draycott. It's a large town in Kuishen estate that farms all kinds of bulb crops. Onions, garlic, leeks, tulips, hyancinths... that sort of thing. They're closely connected to several other farming villages via a large market road, which keeps their economy (and their diet) nice and diversified.
  • Originally I thought I'd have the Ivari have a broader skin tone range (darker darks and lighter lights), but I've... kinda just been drawing everyone as dark-ish skinned. So I've opted to make Ivinan a kingdom of darker-skinned people, and Feylore's gonna have all the white folks.
  • Most people respect their ruling nobles. As nasty and backhanded as the politics get, it's generally considered bad business to treat the commoners badly; not to mention that each noble is just vying for the land and its resources, not how the land itself is ruled. It couldn't really matter less to the workers as to who's in charge.
  • Architectural styles are... well, I guess I can't very well just say that they're 'gothic' or 'roman' or something. This is a completley different world, with completely different ideas of style. But I like cottages, cobblestone roads, stone castles, and dark wooden stuffs.

 

Edited by Channelknight Fadran
I swear there's a map but I *can't find it*
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

Like I said, plenty have mastered all six elements

Well like in power level.

Specifically I'm looking at the polarity and wondering if you could turn off the repulsion of electrons and phase through matter, or increase the repulsion of protons and cause fission. Stuff like that.

 

Though I suppose Iconar uses Icara compounds(is that still canon?) So those might not apply.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Frustration said:

Well like in power level.

Specifically I'm looking at the polarity and wondering if you could turn off the repulsion of electrons and phase through matter, or increase the repulsion of protons and cause fission. Stuff like that.

That's a RAFO for sure

Just now, Frustration said:

Though I suppose Iconar uses Icara compounds(is that still canon?) So those might not apply.

n o p e

thems are dumb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Feylore - Realm of the Fey and Thaumaty

Spoiler

History

Feylore has always been a relatively peaceful realm, striving for quality and efficiency exclusively within their own borders. After coming out of tribalism and into agriculture, the three continents were passively divided into eighteen kingdoms: four in the northeast, seven in the southeast, and then another seven in the west. Most evolved into monarchy and feudal ownership without much conflict, though plenty of intrgue and invisible power struggles played out in the background; pretty much just geographical divides and the fortune of land ownership created these.

They continued to keep to themselves even after the Parallarity gates first opened. Three new kingdoms were founded across the local land in Midway as various nobles broke off from their lords, but from there they didn't try to expand any further. They formed trade routes with their neighbors Ivinan and Sunkane - and joined the necessary alliance to maintain them as both realms waged war on Drakefell and Carnon. As the war dragged on and began to grow in scale, the nobles of Feylore came together and formed a series of unions to protect the wellfare of their own kingdom.

The treaty these nobles signed is known as the Peace of Feylore Charter, and declared military neutrality in all interrealmatic conflicts. The major points included banning foreign military forces from crossing or constructing fortresses on Feylore land, automatic denial of requests for military aid, and any necessary powers to ambassadors and administrators to mantain any further requirements. They still allowed private trade to occur, but still fell a little out of favor with Ivinan (who'd been vying to construct some Goldenrod Enclave outposts in Feylore Midway).

At the Founding of the Channelknights, still very little changed within Feylore's borders. A bitter political squabble erupted at the advent of a warrior possessing the power of gods from their own realm, but with the Order seeking a peaceful resoluton to the war anyways, the arguments eventually fizzled out. With a new Collective-wide union coming into fruition, each realm was expected to unify and become a more organized figure - Feylore, of course, had already done so. For the next several hundred years they continued to prosper, building the great mountain city of Elsinia and learning to transform their land.

Then, of course, the breaking of the Order sent the nation back into chaos. With every Realm it had become necessary to decide with whom to ally, but for Feylore especially the choice was massively consequential - the new war was, in fact, between none other than their ages-long allies Ivinan and Sunkane. A year of arguments, bickering, bribery, and fear eventually led to a second legendary conference in which Feylore effectively allied with Ivinan: but, of course, only in trade. The deal to prevent any military travel or establishment remained to prevent any potential violence from Sunkane - and for the most part it worked.

Nowadays it continues keeping to itself, but poverty has drastically increased with their resources quickly draining amidst the conflict. Thousands of citizens of Feylore move out to Ivinan, labeled as refugee-adjacents. Just like everyone else, the Realm is slowly slipping into chaos and decay...

Culture

While neutrality from other realms is the Feylore's policy of law, the ideal of disassociation is not one commonly upheld by the people there. Ever since the opening of the Parallels, the realm has served as a safe haven for people of all races - friend and foe alike. The nobility of Feylore can be quite callous and xenophobic, but the citizens share little to none of that mentality. Perhaps this is due to the simple, passive nature of ther society's structure: with so little interference between classes and the emphasis on simply "getting by," the need for any one fey peasant to shun an outsider is just nonexistent. Expanded to the population of an entire world, this basic form of welcome has made Feylore perhaps the most inviting realm of them all.

Most citizens - the fey - are just farmers and tradesmen. They take pride in their own homes, towns, and labors. Friends and neighbors are like family, and outsiders are always welcome by the fire as long as they don't bother nobody and pull their own weight. National pride is significantly lower than it is in the likes of Ivinan, Sunkane, and Drakefell due to this more localized sense of belonging.

In wealthier parts you'll find the regular heirs and heiresses from the nobility, "new money" from particularly successful merchants, and numerous more specialized positions from those of diluted noble blood. Only these upper-class citizens will ever seek out any sort of military occupation, but even then they'll only ever become the likes of wall guards and artistic duelists. A small standing militia does exist for each region, but it's made half of mercenaries and half of farmers looking for a bit more passive income.

Thaumaty

The magic of Feylore is much less rigid than the likes of its neighbor, dealing in the essence of existing things rather than of nature - manifesting how a thing is perceived, coming appropriately from the godess known as the Eye of Icona. Thaumaty Mages, known more commonly as Translators, use their energy to take an existing thing and change its nature. The mechanics behind this are vague at best, but follow a simple formula: the difficulty and energy required to change a thing's nature is proportional to the complexity of the thing (before and after), the fundamental difference between the thing (also before versus after), and how long the object has been in its original state (a newly-broken pot, for example, is much easier to repair than one that's been sitting in the attic for three years).

Most Translators don't develop this power thoroughly, as the energy required to change something useless into something useful is often more than it would take just to go out and get the useful item like a normal person. It's an ability that's taught in small amounts to pretty much every fey since childhood, but is only really nurtured in the wealther ones who can afford a more complex education. As it stands, the vast majority of Translators will always minimize the three variables when casting due to the lack of true training in the art.

Other stuff

  • Aurora and Lacy are both from Feylore. They were never taught any Thaumaty because they were raised half in orphanages and half on the street, but picked up a tiny amount from various folks along the way. Both would be weaker than the average fey anyways due to the lack of experience, but both being half-elves makes their Thaumaty even weaker.
  • Fey are also referred to as elves in the writing, but I might boycott that at some point. They have lighter skin tones and hair that scales all the way from pitch black to pure white - there's a significant portion of class difference between those with blemished complexions and dirtier hair.
  • Accents get thicker the higher you get on the social ladder. British elves - I know; so original.
  • They have completely deforested several million acres of land. The land around Elsinia (the capital city) is barren and disgusting. 0/10 would not recommend.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Intresting, Elves that cause deforsetation, I don't know that I've ever seen that before.

23 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

Feylore - Realm of the Fey and Thaumaty

Do you mean Thaumaturgy?

Or are you trying to evoke the same feel with a different spelling?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

I was like "I need new names for my magic system" (this one was originally called Mending, which is stupid).

{google}

"synonyms for magic"

63f7f76e4e2fb_Screenshot2023-02-234_31_45PM.png.4167f93c5199c9704d7a21f74f1a7bfc.png

Doobodooooo.... theurgy? Like... short Thaumaturgy?

I should do that but different.

Theurgy is actually weilding a divine source of power, so that's what the Channelknights were doing.

So, this is a complete suggestion, and feel completly free to ignore it, as I'm probably the only one weird enough to care, but Thaumaturgy is derived from old greek Thauma or "Wonder" and Turgy or "work", while Maty doesn't mean anything, so I think something like Allagi, or "Change" would work better, or Thaumallagi, quite litterally "Wonderous change" (though google wants to translate it to "Dazzle").

Once again feel completely free to ignore this, I'm just odd(and spent way too much time researching thaumaturgy a while back for... reasons), and if that's not at all what you were going for just keep with it.:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Sunkane - Realm of the Demons and Occulta

Spoiler

History

The surface of Sunkane is a wasteland of jagged rock and blistering heat, with little in the way of water or wind. Only the toughest creatures such as galpas could survive up there, so instead the people of Sunkane evolved and developed under the ground, becoming dwellers of darkness.

Despite their seemingly primitive cave-dwelling tendencies, the demons of Sunkane quickly developed into industry as their population grew. They became master miners and smiths, shaping the sprawling network of caves to their will. They learned broke the surface to create chimney stacks for factories, dig deep for water reservoirs, and develop tougher steels than any other realm's. This industrialization roughly united what was once a very loose scattering of various tribes and clans, and with some difficulty (and their own fair share of infighitng) developed them into a council of monarchs.

Both these systems were tested upon the opening of the Parallarities. No other realm, after all, had evolved into darkness; diplomacy, it seemed, was impossible. Under threat of fading into inconsequentiality, each lord and lady began sending out militias and raiders to begin a broken sort of warfare. There was little to no coordination between forces, and none of them wielded anything remotely close to 'tactics.' In fact, the only force keeping these uprisings alive was their superior equipment and combat experience.

Though their neighbor Feylore backed out of their alliance in response to this, the kingdom of Ivinan joined in on the prospect of a conquest. This, ultimately, sealed the fate of the rest of the Collective. The two natons began working together to develop efficient methods of communication, such as creating dim lanterns for a vision middle ground and sharing their affinities for combat and tactical interworkings. By Ivinan's constant repeated request, Sunkane's many leaders came together to devise a new system of government. After nearly a year of constant back-and-forth debate, campaigning, duels, and threats, they eventually developed a system that actually fit their realm quite well: a military monarchy, with the greatest warrior and tactical leader serving as the Demon King.

The first - King Veren - wasted no time whipping the nation into shape. Under his direction Sunkane began to cut swaths of destruction into the lands of Drakefell and Carnon, taking a brutal approach to a seemingly uncounterable offensive. They became the ultimate ally for Ivinan, and together the two worlds spent years on conquest after conquest. New leaders came and went as duels for the throne carried on, but with each little political resistance followed, as none so far had displayed any real dissidence for the realm's current direction.

Of course, the Order of the Channelknights ultimately broke this cycle of destruction. Sunkane was even almost ready to fight back - until their own Channelknight fought and ascended to the throne, claiming the realm as her own. Dozens of challengers fought to supplant her, but none succeeded; and after a few years the anger had died down. For the next several generations this would be the case, with each next Channelknight taking the throne to lead their nation on to power and prosperity. One in particular - King Orlie - ordered the creation of the fortress called Mazin-Dar, which stands taller than any other tower and has since held against any and every enemy to come against it.

Most of the other realms blame Sunkane for the breaking of the Order. The story goes that Demon King Calakan betrayed his fellow Channelknights, killing four upon his own sword as his armies ore through Midway to conquest. It was Arcanae of Ivinan who ended him - at the cost of her own life. The Knights ceased to reincarnate from then, though no one truly knows why. Without them the war blazed back into action, with Sunkane now turning against their old ally Ivinan, seeking to become the one and only most powerful realm in the Collective.

Culture

Put simply, Sunkane is not a kind realm. Vicious creatures of the deep, toxic pools of acidic water, and the constant threat of sudden cave-ins all breed only the strongest of creatures. The demons, then, are propagators of strength. They are naturally wary of outsiders, rarely traveling outside their realm or beyond their walls in Midway. The few who do become outcasts in everything but name.

Demons take the most pride in their crafts and accomplishments; most notably combat or smithying, though that isn't to say the likes of scholars and artists are discounted. They live in halls of crafted stone and molded metal, creating shafts and frames to uphold the caverns natural and artificial alike. There is little need for private shelter without any weather to speak of, so the citizens instead keep their few private belongings in small offshoot caves and instead share in a large variety of common goods and wealth. Local militia leaders distribute this commonwealth, both by mandate and to maintain their position in civil references.

There is a direct hiearchy of warrior leaders in Sunkane, but the small seperations of influence from warrior to warrior are rarely used for direct command and more for the sly crucible of politics. Overall there are several vaguely distinct positions:

  • Covent: Local leader of a few families and businesses. More of a distributer and sheriff than a true leader.
  • Marshall: Oversees a larger swath of cave networks, who several covents will report to. Is a more general decisionary for local policies and whatnot.
  • Daimyo: Representatives on the Sunkane Grand Council. They are expected to serve in the military and lead expeditions in addition to representing their many regions.
  • Hashai: Akin to a king by the standards of any other realm - currently there are seven; one each from the seven Sunkane Cavern Nations. They are direct advisors to the Demon King themself.
  • Demon King: Ruler of all Sunkane and general of the Demon Army. Perhaps the most powerful person in the entire Collective.

Occulta

This form of magic is perhaps the most direct in the Collective, drawing upon a demon's own inner power to strengthen them in physical tasks. While other systems of magic tend to manipulate the external world, Occulta instead enhances the user based on their own willpower. Wielders of Occulta are known as Invocators, and learn to imbue their inner magical strength into whatever life craft they deemed worthy of their passion.

Learning to harness Occulta is all but mandatory in Sunkane education, as one's prowess in it widly affects their accessibility to various occupations in the future. How the magic itself works is closely-guarded secret by the monarchies, and despite being a system of magic available to almost every citizen of Sunkane manages to elude spies and researchers as to its more detailed interworkings. Put simply, Occulta transforms magical energy into physical energy directly within the body, enhancing strength, agility, resilience, and so on.

Apprenticeships in trades and training in the military both teach specific applications of this energy, giving names to esoteric techniques and new abilities developed by prodigies and masters alike. These, too, are closely-guarded; and here by demon to demon. Few are documented by even the monarchy, and even fewer by outsiders.

Other Stuff

  • Demons see in the dark as other people see in the light. Something something their eyes detect lack of light rather than abundance of it. Don't @ me; I know full well that it doesn't make sense.
  • They also have green blood due to a chemical abundance of copper. This is 'cause I thought green blood would be cool.
  • Originally I had developed a specific alloy unique to the demons called Shadow Steel. This name is lame. If you have ideas for a better one then lemme know.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Drakefell - Realm of the Drakes and Psionis

Spoiler

History

Drakefell is a highly volcanic realm, though over a vast enough area is still plenty viable for survival. With periodically refreshed soil, flora is incredibly abundant and absolutely thrives. With little by way of cattle or livestock, the natives survived the first several millenia almost entirely on a vegetarian diet, simultaneously losing their scales (though keeping some as vestigial patterns through to today).

Known as Drakes, these people eventually developed from agricultural to developmental upon the advent of metallurgy. Homes were once ultimately mounds of roughly-hewn stone, but within just a few generations of learning to shape such things as copper and iron became beamed and trussed. Drakefell would grow to become home to a myriad of massive tiered city-states, gleaming day and night with their metal infrastructure and blazing forges. Unsurprisingly, this sudden boom in economic growht led to the formation of hundreds of clans battling for control in the harsh crucible of the market.

Little changed in the status quo since then besides the risings and fallings of various clans; but, of course, the founding of the Parallarity would throw this all into chaos. Drakefell's immediate neighbors were Sunkane and Vitera - the latter managing to maintain relative neutrality, and the former coming in alliance with Ivinan to declare war on them within just a few decades. Fearing annihilation, Carnon reached out in alliance to Drakefell, urging them to quickly unify and centralize their scattered clans and disputes to ensure neither realms would come to defeat.

While few - of course - were particularly eager to submit to their new enemies, the allure of profit was a force to be reckoned with. On one thing every battling clan seemed to agree: there was not to be any new central government to take their power away.

The solution was simple and effective. Less than a year after war was declared on Drakefell, they had effectively unified into a singular ruling bereaucracy: a council of representatives from each clan, for the ultimate benefit and prosperity of Drakefell. The internal squabblings would continue much as they always had, but now with an effective system of ratification to enforce a very rough system of laws and regulations. Ultimately this would come to do little more than organize and record the infighting, but at the very least it proved effective in the coming war - enough so to keep the "nation" more than afloat for several hundred years of war.

While it was the Channelknights of Ivinan and Sunkane who utlimately led the campaign to peace, Drakefell's was perhaps the most zealous. Ending the war meant a significant decrease in profits to each of the clans, but it was unpopular enough among the rest of the realm that none complained too much about it. They all quickly came to their feet either way, and with focus finally torn away from the development of weapons, armor, and various machines, the realm's ultimate level of achievement began to skyrocket once again. Drakefell entered a new era of blinding prosperity for dozens of generations.

And, interestingly enough, they were the first to recover from the breaking of the Order, and the advent of a new war - once again against Sunkane, though now allied with Ivinan.

Business as usual, they all supposed.

Culture:

The drama in Drakefell is completely centered on the bickering in the courtrooms and marketplaces, but only a tiny fraction of even the bereaucrats themselves are ever featured in it. To focus only on the politics misses the staggering majority of Drakefell's citizens entirely, who exist in a incredibly diverse scattering of subcultures and demographics.

Just below the top bereaucrats are their subordinates and assistants, who are somewhat unofficially labeled as the "upper class." They are characterized by their immaculate homes, luxurious parties, attention to propriety, and their taste in the ever-evolving fashion trends. It's a sort of romantic lifestyle these individuals lead, which can only be imagined by the likes of the middle or lower classes.

Scholars and tradesmen consist the upper middle, often referred to as the merchant class. They are the fortunates of society, capable of pursuing their passions in academia or craftsmanship. Many are considered assets to the larger clans.

The lower middle, or the fortunates of the unfortunates. They live steady working jobs, most commonly in the likes of factories and smithies, though those are of course far from the only industries that Drakefell leads. At best these individuals might work their way up to an apprenticeship, but few ever really hold much hope for becoming any higher from the caste they were born into.

The poor, of course, are ignored by the aristocrats. Drakefell at large is more than wealthy enough to keep them alive and fed for the most part, and as the profiteers see it that is more than enough. Where it is popular they will donate to charities for building them homes in the slums, where the communities are far more tight-knit than any party could ever be.

Psionis:

Despite the seemingly vague ramifications of Psionis, the magic is perhaps the most complex and discrete in the Collective. Known as Visis, Psionis Mages are wielders of a power capable of vastly expanding the capabilities of their own minds. In studying the magic, the brain is a comparative logical device, capable of and's, or's, and if's. The essence of knowledge is in reason, and the essence of reason is in logic. Thus by enhancing one's own logical capabilities, one becomes more knowledgeable.

How the magic itself works is perhaps more unknown than its wielders would like, but the effects are well-documented across hundreds of generations. It's a simple form of self-enhancement, but working specifically in terms of the brain and nervous system. Calculations and the like are most notably increaed in speed and accuracy, with other effects such as improved reflexes, unnaturally quick and intelligent speech, and even the careful simulation of potential outcomes of various situations being some others available to the highly-skilled and highly-trained.

Other Stuff:

  • There's lots of lava in Drakefell, and therefore lots and lots and lots of guardrails.
  • idk I haven't really developed this one that much.
  • Only a few of you know @revelryintheart but she wanted a Drake character insert and made an absolutely epic drawing which you are now graced with
Spoiler

Erulyn.jpg.519542433b4687ede70d68b3bbcd01cf.jpg

Drakes were a bit different back when she drew this (now I don't think they have tails or wings)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've mentioned that my current draft of the Iconar Collective is Mark Eighteen.

That's a lotta redrafts.

Allow me to go through them:

  1. Written probably over ten years ago, on my mom's long-forgotten tablet-sized laptop called Zippy (it was the fastest computer we had... lol). I had watched the Fallen Kingdom minecraft music video and thought it was so awesome that I decided to go and write a story that was just as awesome. I got one chapter (read: one paragraph) in after maybe two or three minutes of deep, masterful writing... then forgot about it and never edited it again.
    1. As a wee lad I was absolutely certain that this singular idea was going to take the literature world by storm and make me the most famous author of all time. I vaguely remember writing it. The POV was a royal guard person (nameless), who was running towards the king and queen (nameless) to take their child (nameless) and run away as they (king and queen - nameless) fought some unspeakable horror, sacrificing themselves for the hope of the kingdom.
    2. This was the dawn of my first "epic" idea: superpowered magical weapons wielded by the king and queen of whatever kingdom this was. It was also the dawn of two characters (nameless 1 and nameless 4) who would become very prevalent later down the line.
  2. Never written. Like, I never wrote down a single word of this. It was just me keeping myself up at night with wild fantasies of the same characters doing crazy stuff. It mainly featured two primary characters: Male (nameless) and Female (nameless). Honestly so much random scud happened throughout it that I couldn't even begin to describe it all, but I spent so many nights on them that I felt the need to call it a "draft."
    1. The two protagonists are very important. Idk if you caught onto that but here we are.
  3. The first "completed" draft I ever wrote! I would've been twelve or so with my brand-new gmail and google docs. It begins much the same as the first two drafts: the king and queen must stay in their doomed kingdom to keep the enemies at bay, entrusting their infant son to their most loyal warrior (in this case the Fastest Runner in the Kingdom: Lars). He is forced to leave them to die at the hands of the Shadow King, who leads an army of Shadow Stalkers and Shadow Warriors and Shadow Giants and Shadow This and Shadow That and basically I wasn't particularly creative at the time. Lars takes the child to the forest and raises him with an old elf friend (who he winds up marrying), then had a child of his own to accompany Child 1 on their eventual quest to retake the kingdom.
    1. The story then follows three titular characters: Philip, Aurora, and Tristan. That's right - not Corrin. Philip. As a kid I actually had no idea that Philip was the name of the prince in Sleeping Beauty, so the fact that he was Aurora's brother was... a little strange. His whole gig was that he was super muscular and really good at swordfighting, while Aurora used a bow and arrow and also maybe magic? (I don't remember). Aurora got herself wounded at some point, so they found a town and took her to the local medic: Tristan. His entire deal was being Love Interest (tm) to Aurora, who would repeatedly get herself stabbed and shot in various damsel-y ways so Tristan could use his magical band-aids and heal her invariably.
    2. It was bad.
    3. It was also going to be a three-part series (I don't think I knew the word "trilogy" yet). Part 1 would be the three gangstas taking down the Shadow King and retakign the kingdom (Tristan dies at the end); Part 2 would be them going off on an adventure to bring Tristan back to life (???); Part 3 would be......... ....something. I don't think I had a plan for it. But I wanted Philip to die at the end for some reason (because  h e r o i s m).
    4. In total... almost 50K words. Not bad, Past Me. Though every single one of those words was complete and utter garbage. Still - formative years.
  4. Simply titled "My Story," and basically just a reboot of 3 but with slightly more bearable prose. I'm actually skimming it a little and... honestly, at this point I'm not entirely sure how much my memory serves the distinction between 4 and 3 at this point, because they're really similar. Apparently they're hunting down a prophecy? Or something? I only got 20K words into it, giving up about halfway through by the looks of it.
    1. I finally changed Lars' name! To Dain. Yep - Dain was originally Corrin's surrogate father (and the fastest runner in hte kingdom by trade, apparently). Very little of his "original" character has been carried over into more recent versions.
    2. Lars, by the way, was recycled as an "easter egg" into the name of Corrin's uncle in the current canon. It's just so bad that I can't allow myself to ever forget it.
  5. The dawn of Times New Roman! This was likely the first version I started writing after The Realization (when I scored several perfect 100s on creative writing assignments way back in 9th grade and was like :0 - basically I'd convinced myself, yet again, that I was to be the next billionaire author). It is seven pages long, and the first of many many many attempts at the same opening I couldn't seem to rewrite. Once again it was another take on the "loyal warrior must flee the kingdom with the royal child and raise them to retake it from the demons" thing, this time following Dain as the Captain of the Royal Guard (featuring Henry, Brice, Avelyn, and Neal).
    1. I'd written up to them defeating the first wave of a siege. And... apparently with some elves coming in? I FORGOT ABOUT MY ATLA ELVES OMG okay so I was just getting into worldbuilding and decided to make four clans of elves (one for each element). Dain had a girlfriend elf called Sapphire.
  6. This one... starts exactly the same way as the last one. And then continues. Why did I have seperate docs for the two of them? And also my prologue was several chapters long? Dain fought off the siege, then went off on a side quest to go find some of their elf buddies. Didn't get much farther than Dain and Sapphire flirting (as best two adults could as written by a fourteen-year-old child who'd never spoken to a girl in his life).
    1. Checking... checking... okay, he was still called Philip back then.
    2. I had two dwarf clans, apparently. Cool.
    3. OH YEAH this is when I'd just barely started getting into magic system creation. I think I had... eight forms of magic? Though I'm also pretty sure I just straight-up yoinked them from 5e, soooooo
  7. ...I can't seem to find Mark Seven in here. How odd.
  8. The FIRST EVER rendition of the Channelknights. There were five realms, connected by the Parallarity, each with a Channelknight guardian. This version was so intensely formative for the entire series, man... and it's so mediocre. Honestly I don't know where I was going with it, but I had setup chapters for my four Primary Characters (tm):
    1. Corrin (FINALLY named Corrin - the new general of the currently nameless army, who is immediately defeated by some random invader and winds up running off into the woods to escape), Aurora (a... *checks notes*... necromancer? Apparently? And I guess that's taboo enough that her teacher deemed it necessary to leave her in the woods at night to be killed by a manticore?), Tristan (a professional thief who gets captured by some elite guards and sold to a colosseum), and Avelyn (a professional fighter who already lives in said colosseum).
    2. Oh and a lot of the current characters have their names recycled from this version. The Last Order of the Channelknights? Lead by Darnell (not Garnell - yet), Mareth (who was a girl, and Darnell's... *snickers* - wife), Iolar, Quarden, and Eileen
  9. Skimmed it... huh. Similar to the last one where I gave each character their own POV chapter, but I added a fifth to the mix: Ridge, the elf child. How I went about it was different (Corrin was vying for the position of captain instead of general; Avelyn is an assassin instead of a colosseum slave). Prose is still... eh.
    1. Introducing Lacy! Mentioned once, in one singular chapter. I would've been fourteen at the time of writing this. In fact, Mark 8 was written by me right before I went to EFY as a wee lad - and Mark 9 here would've been after. Lacy's name is very loosely based on a friend I made there (I was like "hey wanna cameo?" and they're like "sure!" and then badabing badaboom you have yourself one of the most important characters in the entire story).
  10. Five pages long, barely a thousand words... first mention of Garnell instead of Darnell, but his personality is completely switched with Dain. Dain is Corrin's weird friend and Garnell is the ruthless commandmant. And I introduce Avelyn right off the bat into Corrin's story (I probably should've mentioned in earlier drafts that she was intended to be his love interest).
  11. Seven pages long, roughly 1600 words... Dain is still the weird friend instead of Garnell. This one's featuring the first iteration of a certain Channelknight prologue I was working with.
  12. Six pages, roughly 1700 words... same prologue, different approach to the plot.
  13. [Error 404 - draft not found]
  14. Looks like I finally found the first ever iteration of the Silverclad Enclave: an independent military faction, rather than a sort of national conglomerate. Dain's somewhat bearable in this version for the first time ever. Also the first mention of Amy being Aurora's nickname - but she doesn't like it for some reason? like it. Screw you, past me.
  15. Literally the same as the last version but shorter and with a slightly different ending to one particular paragraph. Why past Fadran ever felt the need to give that its own doc is beyond me.
  16. And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is is the longest written Iconar Collective draft to date. It's the only finished one since Mark 3, and serves as a monument to my development as an author. The plot is exactly the same as it will be in future versions so I can't go over it much, but it should also be noted that how I paced it and a lot of the intermittent scenes are kinda... bad. It gets better as it goes along, but really I'm glad I'm taking on a new approach to the story.
    1. 136,700 words. And... bloody hell, 327 pages?? 
  17. Kind of the first initial redraft of 16 (the first good one) but apparently I didn't like it because I abandoned it eventually and moved onto the next version. I have all the chapters marked out in it tho, which I think is cool.
  18. Current version, and as it stands I am  r e a l l y  happy with how it's going. Steadily chipping away at the word count, getting closer and closer to finishing it... recently I finished Act II, and have moved into the early chapters of Act III. So far my character development and anti-filler have been (in my opinion) pretty solid; we'll see how my skills fare against the upcoming battle sequences.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...