That1Cellist Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 (edited) So I saw The Bookwyrm do this, and I thought I'd try something similar. This is just something I wrote yesterday. I'm not very good yet, but practice is important. Feedback and criticism are appreciated. (Yes I know I love commas too much) Also, can anyone help me with formatting these sorts of things? I will also post other writing things here if I feel like it. Anyway, here it is. Spoiler Do you ever feel like a bottle? I know I do. Everything is trapped inside. You can’t let anything out because nobody wants to listen. You try to explain, and some people help. They do, they really do, but you find yourself slipping, twisting, falling. It’s as if some master of fate decides these things for you. Your time with your friends is scarce. You enjoy every moment, but the world keeps constricting you, trying to squeeze out every last twinkle of happiness. Assignments, physical fatigue, mental wear, and emotional injury. These things add up, but you say nothing. Those who would listen have been taken from you. Crying out is futile. No one would hear, or no one would care. It’s the same, really. Then, finally, through the chill of loneliness, a light, a luminescence, a hope appears. You bask in its precious heat. This thing, it could last. It could bring you joy. Bring companionship, time with those you cherish. But of course, as many good things, it was but an illusion, a figment, a false hope given so that when it is taken, you are destroyed completely. Like an oasis. You place your hopes, your wants, your life upon getting there. But of course, it is merely a dream. Why did you think people would respect the things you wanted? They offer their sadness, their condolences. They posture and beautify. They give an air of knowledge, superiority, of knowing what is best. They choose for you. You have no say. All the while those people rip, tear, and ruin all the things you desired. Why did you think that they cared for your wants? Your emotional needs are trampled under the feet of other values. Those other things mean little to you. What is time if it is not to be spent in happiness? Someone needs to be the stepping stool. Someone must give so others may have. That person is you. Always you. Edited August 26, 2022 by That1Cellist 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wandering Wizard Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 That is really good. Writting is a good way to get out your feelings. If you want to improve write for a little bit each day. By setting a timer, about ten minutes, and using a prompt. During those ten minutes just try to keep typing or your pencil moving. If you get off topic, that's fine just write about what you inspires you and you will improve. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 i love how someone copied me, then someone copied them, then someone copied them, but it all leads back to me. Anyways- holy crap that hits different for me :skull: love it, cellist, you're good at this! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That1Cellist Posted August 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 Does anyone have any ideas for something I could write a little bit about? Some prompts would make good practice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 Here's a tip: listen to music. a lot. music is GREAT prompts! listen to musc, get ideas from it, it'll go great! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That1Cellist Posted August 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 6 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said: Here's a tip: listen to music. a lot. music is GREAT prompts! listen to musc, get ideas from it, it'll go great! That's a great idea! I love music, so I will definitely try that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That1Cellist Posted August 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 Here is a poem thing I wrote last year. Spoiler Silhouettes against a starry sky. A sea of darkness, pierced by radiant specks of hope. A voice is heard, melancholy, a wind in the night. An elegy to the forgotten, the notes grow, their vibrations in sync with the rhythm of nature. A song is sung. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NerdyAarakocra Posted February 10, 2023 Report Share Posted February 10, 2023 (edited) That first one... That's a bit too relatable . It's really good though! Edited February 10, 2023 by NerdyAarakocra 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wittles Posted February 11, 2023 Report Share Posted February 11, 2023 That first one hit really close to home. Good job though, really well written 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That1Cellist Posted March 12, 2023 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2023 (edited) Okay, I haven't been here for a while. Here's a new thing I stayed up way too late last night writing. Ranryu's villanelle inspired me and I thought I'd give one a try. I call this one "Fear". Bleak future's angry strides are long and slow His stealthy steps are not of love or ire Cry silent tears, time fades like melting snow Forsake these barren lands of ceaseless woe They offer naught for which you can aspire Bleak future's angry strides are long and slow Racing down dead end passageways I go Though my oppressors feet will never tire Cry silent tears, time fades like melting snow The steps are near, their coming I did know Yet willingly I built myself this pyre Bleak future's angry strides are long and slow I spy the future's empty face below It's hands reach out to end my only fire Cry silent tears, time fades like melting snow The hands grab flesh and strangle lifeblood flow Their grasp holds 'till vitality expire Bleak future's angry strides are long and slow Cry silent tears, time fades like melting snow. Edited March 13, 2023 by That1Cellist 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranryu Posted March 13, 2023 Report Share Posted March 13, 2023 That's depressing but really good! I like how it goes from third to second to first person. Villanelles for the win! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That1Cellist Posted April 11, 2023 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2023 I have a new thing for you guys now. I'm not super happy with it, and the expectations really do not match reality, but here it is. I think I'm far too willing to share everything I write. Some things are better left unsaid. And, some things have to be just practice, right? Spoiler I’m burning The flames lick about me, dancing gleefully they revel in destruction My clothing glows at the edges, fire catching hold upon it’s frail form And mine Eyes burn and in the onslaught of heat they water Or is it my own tears? I’m frozen My heart is cold, my brain pierced with a spear of ice I do not wish to be alive On the outside I function, I go through the motions I act human But within this fleshy husk I so despise, I feel only the chill Of empty thoughts and broken dreams I’m flying Above the world, without body’s confinement I find joy With wings, fear’s coils slip easily away To the ground below Emotion’s color shines through sunlight’s prism I soar above all else I’m burning I’m frozen I’m flying I am alive 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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