Let's write a story with the power of friendship!

[Odiumiumium]

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I agree, it would definitely work better without lasers and giant explosions. I think it would work best with medieval, or at most 13th century (crappy pistols) weaponry, but the magical technology could be more developed. There is a reason almost every fantasy novel is set in a medieval era, or at least with medieval mundane weapons. Modern technology, like bazookas and flamethrowers and chemical weapons, tend to make the ability to conjure shields effective against fists rather...obsolete. 

I also think it might be important to work out a theme, or at least a proto-theme. It could be a worldbuilding theme or a plot or character theme. I see stars and the visually associated Starmaker flowers as a potential worldbuilding theme. A plot theme could be the dangers of dabbling with powerful technologies, or a Cold War-esque arms race. These are just some late-night ideas (I bet you guys have some better ones, so be sure to share them!), and maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I think a few basic themes will help with cohesion.  

The massive cloudship hung above the battlefield, wreathed in a shimmering white expanse of mist that began to dissipate as the silvery hull of the ship came down to land. Kalan shook himself, and noticed he wasn't the only one gaping. Most would never see a warship in its prime, and he had thought himself among them. The young men that had enlisted likely didn't have big dreams. He began to jog off to find his men and relay the orders, still reeling from the majesty of the warship hanging above him. He felt he could almost reach it. 

[The Bookwyrm]

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I may have been a little bit hasty in making the combat Sci-fi. Sorry about that.

I suppose my justification was that (at least from what I saw) the people of this world do have at least modern technology, just based on magical energy sources. (We see Tria with a bunch of magical mechanics in her home, even besides the weapons she's been working on.) So it would make sense that their weaponry would be somewhat modern as well, because they are at a point technologically that they could create modern weaponry. I tried to write that it was okay to have a weapon with a magic power source, as long as the wounds it inflicts are not really magical in nature. For example, you could have a sword that is powered by magic to make some kind of energy blade, but in the end all it really does is slice people. The kind of weapons that would be banned were things that utilized powerful magic directly to cause damage.

I was still probably too hasty in creating the combat system. I can see why energy weapons don't really fit what we've already established, and I'm not sure why I put them in there. I do think that the weaponry should be somewhat more modern. While they should have swords, (because swords are cool) the projectile weaponry they do have could use more modern ballistics, like bullets, instead of energy beams, but maybe instead of gunpowder propelling the bullets, the aforementioned magical energy source is what's propelling them.

Just a thought. I can go back and change the post introducing the combat when we decide something different.

 

[NameIess]

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I think guns with magical energy sources propelling them would be too expensive and a bit too close to straight-up magical weapons to be widespread, but I could see them being used somewhere (Such as a modern warship, perhaps?) It could be a new invention too, add in the 'character shivers and thinks storms, those things are a little too close to magical for me' thing. As for the tech level I'd say single-shot rifles, six-shooter pistols, cannons, and whatnot, think early American civil war. However, despite reliable gunpowder weapons being around, magical armor and shields keep them from being too dominant. Maybe we could have a thing where enchanted weapons can ignore magical durability, and since it's way too expensive to enchant tons of bullets, traditional weapons like swords and spears are still necessary. Or maybe that'd be too close to making a magical weapon, and people just use swords cause they're cool. (And if you guys want a more traditional fantasy setting, we can do that too.)

Bookwyrm, if you're going to change your post, I'd say take out lasers and replace them with cannons, maybe cut back on the destruction a bit, and perhaps have Kalan block a bunch of bullets with his shield and armor.

Booms shook the air as the warship opened fire, cannons making quick work of any rebels that didn't manage to retreat behind their Evershield. Kalan watched the warship with the rest of his squad, awed into silence. Light, with this thing firing on them, the rebels can't even retreat! Their cloudships will be knocked out of the sky as soon as they deactivate the Evershield!

Paul walked up next to Kalan, handing him a spyglass. "Have you ever seen something like this? It's incredible! If we'd had access to this warship from the start, we'd have wiped out all these rebels ages ago! Why do you think they're just now bringing it in?"

Kalan shifted uncomfortably, coming to a realization. This was a warship, wasn't it? And a new one, by the looks of things. That meant those cannons... "You know why. The border needs protecting. And beyond that... well, their cannons are Spellcast. They're not allowed to be enter combat without a direct authorization from the Queen." He lifted the spyglass, inspecting the warship. With the spyglasses aid, he could see the name on the side of the cloudship. Skyking, huh? Interestingly, Kalan couldn't see anything special about the massive cannons mounted on the ship as they began to fire on the rebel's Evershield. Perhaps the Spellcast cannons had been replaced for this mission?

"Hey, Kalan! A rebel just ran out of the Evershield. He's heading for the warship's landing zone!"

Kalan looked away from the cloudship, glancing curiously towards the now-empty battlefield. Just as Paul had said, one rebel was dashing towards the Skyking, though why anyone would want to run towards the thing was beyond him. Indeed, some of the Skyking's cannons quickly adjusted their aim, showering cannonballs onto the foolish rebel. Kalan raised the spyglass, just in time to see the poor man take a direct hit. A shower of smoke and dirt exploded around the rebel, and Kalan lowered the spyglass, shaking his head. Whatever that man had been trying to accomplish, it hadn't worked-

The rebel burst from the smoke, unscathed.

[The Bookwyrm]

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All right. I've changed the combat in the post, though I have kept the wireless communication device. Let me know if you want that out as well.

Kalan's eye's widened. 

"Tahra's Skull!" he exclaimed out loud.

"What is it?" Paul asked, but then his face paled as he saw the rebel running across the battlefield. He clearly took another direct hit, and once again came out of it completely unharmed.

"Send word," Kalan said, turning to a nearby soldier. He wasn't one of Kalan's own, but someone needed to tell someone higher ranked. "A seemingly invincible Starbreaker is approaching our position! I don't know what he's planning, but it can't be good. Go!" The soldier saluted and ran off.

Kalan handed the spyglass back to Paul, then unslung his rifle.

"Wait," Paul said as he tucked the spyglass in a pouch on his belt. "What are you doing?"

Kalan loaded his rifle and made sure it was ready. "Someone has to at least try to stop that maniac," he said. "I don't have time to find the rest of squad seventeen. Are you coming with me or not?"

Paul smiled and drew his sword.

I really do hate fighting, Kalan thought to himself as he began to run towards the invincible rebel. But, if that's what the Queen commands....even if it makes barely any sense.....

Edited July 28, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[S. Stormy]

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Would it be too many PoV switches if we switched to Paul? I have an idea...

 

[Odiumiumium]

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Try and keep it from Kalan's perspective. I think switching so rapidly from Lylac to Helkins to Kalan and then to Paul would be really hectic, and too many viewpoint characters. Brandon Sanderson can pull off over a half dozen viewpoint characters because he plans, is a master at manipulating stories, and he's Brandon Sanderson. 

 

[NameIess]

Kalan charged the mysterious rebel, Paul at his side. The cannoneers on the Skyking had stopped firing for some reason, electing to focus their firepower on the rebel's Evershield, which was starting to flicker red at the impacts.

Kalan shook his head, focusing on the smoke-shrouded figure a dozen yards in front of him.  As Paul continued forward to engage in hand-to-hand combat, Kalan stood back and fired at the rebel, though he didn't expect it to have much of an effect. Whoever this was, the rebels had obviously gotten their hands on some kind of extremely advanced body armor. Kalan shivered, thinking about how quickly he'd been moving earlier. The armor might even give physical enhancements. In any case, regular bullets wouldn't do anything. Paul's sword, on the other hand, should do much better. As the bullet hit the rebel, his head swiveled towards the pair.

Revealing a glowing red eye.

Kalan gasped in horror, mouth opening to cry warning to Paul, but was too late. His friend vanished in a scarlet flash of light, broken sword clattering to the ground. Kalan stumbled backwards, fear, shock, and anger warring inside him. The smoke cleared, revealing Kevlin Allslayer, rebel leader and the most wanted man in all the kingdom of Shalara. His mechanical eye briefly moved over Kalan, as if assessing him for danger. Apparently finding none, the rebel legend turned his eye back upon the Skyking.

Edited July 29, 2022 by Nameless

[The Bookwyrm]

Emotions warred inside of Kalan. Sorrow at the loss of his friend. Confusion about why he seemed so much less hostile towards him. Fury that this Starbreaker- no, the Starbreaker-would murder his comrade and then dismiss Kalan without a second thought.

Fury won. 

Kalan screamed, and charged at Kevlin. He fired a single shot that hit the rebel leader dead in the face.

Kevlin survived, of course.

As Kalan got close enough to strike, Kevlin's mechanical arm shot out and grabbed Kalan by the front of his uniform. Kalan was slammed into the ground. His breath was knocked out of him, and he stared dazed up into the sky and at the warship hovering overhead.

"Look, kid," Kevlin said without looking at him. "I can tell that you're a little more sensible and open minded than most other people in the army. So I'll tell you this."

Kevlin turned his gaze on Kalan and stared at him with one piercing blue organic eye, and one ominous red mechanical one.

"Stay the lights out of my way, and I might just let you live."

Kevlin then jumped. Somehow, he flew much farther than any person would ever be able to on his own, most likely due to his mechanical legs. The force of his jump, plus his mechanical parts, somehow let him drill a hole through the hull of the warship. Kevlin disappeared inside.

When Kalan finally caught his breath, he ran.

 

Edited July 29, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[NameIess]

The rebels got away. With Kevlin aboard, the Skyking's cannons quickly stopped firing, especially after he sabotaged their main engine. After it was clear that the Starbreakers had-once again-managed to barely escape the grasp of the royal army, the higher-ups tried to go about keeping it from happening again. Kalan was stuffed into a room alone, presumably for debriefing, but none of the high-ranking generals would be ready for his report for another few hours at least. That left Kalan with plenty of time to think.

He didn't like thinking. His mind kept getting back to that horrible flash of light. To that glowing red eye, that smooth grace that went beyond what was natural. Kalan shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He hadn't wanted to believe the rumors the veterans told, but he couldn't deny the truth of his own two eyes. Kevlin really was a magical weapon.

[The Bookwyrm]

As Kalan continued to think about his encounter with Kevlin, the more confused he grew. Why hadn't the Starbreaker leader killed him? He had said something....

I can tell that you're a little more sensible and open minded than most other people in the army.

What on Riladi was that supposed to mean?

Kalan continued to think. And, inevitably, his thoughts were drawn to Paul.

Paul. His friend. Who was now dead by the same hand that had started this war.

Lights....I hate this. Why do we have to fight? Why do I have to fight? I'm just getting hurt and losing friends. Why does this have to go on?

Why can't it all just stop?

He looked over at the Shalari flag on the wall of the tent. A white starling silhouette on a light blue background. The symbol of the country, and of the Queen, who commanded the war to be fought. Of the Queen, who sent soldiers to their deaths.

A single tear ran down Kalan's cheek. 

Paul.....May you be received well above, as Tahra was in ages past. A simple prayer, one that was common in the minds of those who lost friends.

Another tear came down his face. That burst of red light....that broken sword.....he had completely vanished. There weren't even any remains to return to Paul's family.

And that's when it hit him.

Lights.....how am I going to tell Lylac?

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Time for a POV switch back to Lylac, mayhaps?

 

Edited August 14, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[S. Stormy]

Lylac's timeswitch dinged. She tapped it, seeing a skyletter from... Kalan. Paul's friend. She knew him fairly well, but she couldn't think of any reason for him to message her.

Unless...

No. Lylac, you're being dumb. You've been reading too many books. That's where these things happen. Not in real life.

A holograph of Kalan's message popped up, lighting Lylac's makeshift bedroom in Tria's cottage. Despite her confident self-assurances, Lylac still devoured the words as quickly as she could. 

Then read them again. 

Lylac, it read.

I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to have to tell you this. But your brother Paul is dead. He was killed by a rebel. A Starbreaker. I don't know how. I'm sorry. I tried to stop him. 

 

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Kalan

 

Lylac stared at the message, feeling as though her heart had been stolen. She felt empty.

Your brother Paul is dead.

Paul is dead.

The words echoed in her head. Breaking a little piece of her soul with each repetition. She hardly noticed as she drew her knees to her chest and tears trickled down her cheeks. Lylac started shaking. She'd never see him again. Ever. He was gone, just like that. Killed by a Starbreaker. 

A Starbreaker.

Why now? Why after she'd sworn herself to their ranks?

"Lylac?" a voice said. Tria's voice. "What's wrong?"

"Paul is dead. And guess who killed him?" She looked up at Tria, betrayal shown on her face. "A Starbreaker."

"Lylac... I'm so sorry. But--"

"No. You don't understand. You don't know what it's like."

"Well... I might. Do you know why I live alone?"

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I actually got a little teary reading yours, Bookwyrm. Well done!

Anyway, this got long. Sorry. But tragedy is fun.

(to write)

[The Wandering Wizard]

"No." Retorts Lylac. "Do you think I care right now, PAUL IS DEAD!" 

Lylac strains her ears to hear Tria's reply. "My sister is dead too."

Lylac freezes. "What did you just say?" Whispers Lylac.

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This seems fun, I can help contribute from time to time.

 

[The Bookwyrm]

Tria didn't seem very sad at all as she talked, which was the complete opposite of the rage and hollowness Lylac felt.

"Ever since our parents had died, she had been the one taking care of me. She was a lot older than me.

"Then, just when I was about old enough to take care of myself, she was drafted into the Shalari army. We kept in communication, however, until I learned that a Starbreaker killed her."

Tria sighed, and Lylac saw a deep sadness in her eyes, one that neither her expression or voice showed at all.

"I was furious. I wanted revenge. So, I spent months gathering information about the location of Helkins. A major player on the Starbreakers side, and brother to their leader. I knew he was hiding somewhere around here. I listened and gathered, and when the time was right, went to kill him.

"It was a stupid plan, though. I was caught immediately. I thought he would kill me, there on that mountaintop....but he didn't. Instead, he taught me why he fought, why all of them did. He explained why he thought he was doing what was right, and the dangers the Kingdom of Gevran presented to the whole world."

Tria turned to Lylac. "He changed me that day. I've been his personal apprentice ever since, even though he doesn't always act that way."

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As a side note, do you think that Lylac's special skill could be utilizing the magic in special plants, like the Starmakers, and putting them to practical purposes? I think that's something that could fit her character while still having her help the Starbreakers.

 

[The Wandering Wizard]

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I think that could work. Do we want to write the magic as you grow into it in a certain age, exposure to something, had power since childhood, or activated by coming on contact with something, like magic. These are just some ideas that I have right now.

 

[The Bookwyrm]

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I'm thinking it would be less of a power, and more of a skill. Like, she can't use magic herself, but knows how to access the magic in the plants to make magic potions or put in weapons or something.

 

Edited August 19, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[The Wandering Wizard]

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So basically a magical skill, like a higher proficiency in that area than almost anyone else. Is that what you were thinking? I think it would be interesting to try.

 

[S. Stormy]

Lylac paused. She understands. She can help. Maybe.

"So... do you want to be distracted, or do you want to be left alone? Or do you want me to stay here? Or... something else?"

Lylac looked up. "I want something to do. Please."

[The Bookwyrm]

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...Is this still a thing, or is it too dead?

 

[Odiumiumium]

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Uhh...I'd say it's pretty dead. You could totally start a new one if you want to. 

 

[S. Stormy]

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I'd kinda like to see it revived, but that's just me.

 

[Just_a_Fan]

Spoiler

Can revive, pls? sounds fun.

 

Edited May 26, 2023 by Just_a_Fan_YT

[danex]

3 minutes ago, Just_a_Fan_YT said:

  Hide contents

Can revive, pls? sounds fun.

 

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what exactly are you looking for here

don't ask for someone to revive it, just do it yourself and see if people join in. thats the beauty of chain-based forum things, you can just keep it going.

 

[Just_a_Fan]

A necromancer wanders in and, having nothing to do, shows lylac a jar.

Inside the jar were crickets chirping the halo theme, also out of ol' boredom.

[S. Stormy]

Tria glared at the person. "What are you doing here? Get. Out. Of. My. House." She levels a weapon she pulled from somewhere at the human.

[Just_a_Fan]

the necromancer walks out, then puts the jar on the porch.