Ookla the Confused

Let's write a story with the power of friendship!

95 posts in this topic

"She can not leave the rebellion now. She will have to join it or die." Coldly replies Helkins.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lylac gasped in fear. join the rebellion? perhaps the queen did need to be more concerned about the Gevran, but the stories she'd heard about what the rebels did... her stomach felt queasy just thinking about it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Wow, Helkins got more violent than I had expected...

"I promised her that she wouldn't be hurt," Tria said. "I won't let you do anything to her."

Helkins sighed, still holding the sharp tool. "We talked about this, Tria. We have to eliminate those that know too much, or turn them to our side. We can't let the Queen learn our plans."

"I know," Tria said. "But she'll listen to reason. I know Lylac; she'll understand and come through."

Helkins sighed again. Then he put down the tool and sat on the couch.

"Well then...Lylac, was it?" he said. "You'd better listen closely."

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lylac nodded, too terrified to do much else as the rebel continued speaking.

"You know who I am, obviously. And from the look on your face, you've heard quite a few of the stories about me. Well, I'm not going to eat your soul or kill your family or anything like that."

Helkins gave Lylac a measuring gaze, mechanical eye glowing softly green in the dim room, then sighed.

"The truth is, I only do that kind of thing when I have to. If you promise to keep quiet, and your friend here vouches for you, I'll leave you alone. I'll be leaving soon anyways, just as soon as I figure out whether what your friend here has made is worth my trip."

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most of Lylac wanted to nod submissively and promptly leave, content to forget about this day.

But... what did Helkins know? What made Tria so certain that everything was about to go wrong?

Knowing she might be about to end the life she knew, she opened her mouth and said, "I want to join you."

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Helkins laughed harshly, a sound like gears grinding on metal. "Join me? Just a second ago you were terrified of me. Now you want to throw your lot in with the Allslayer? Why the sudden change of face?"

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

"I...." Lylac trailed off.

"Tria has been talking to me, and....I think she's right. Your cause is right. Though it took me far to long to realize it."

Lylac paused, considering whether to tell Helkins this next part.

She decided to do it.

"My brother fights for the Queen in the war," she said. "If...if you can really end this war quickly, and if you're really going to protect us from a greater threat, then what choice do I have? I just...I just want the fighting to stop. And I realized that the rebels have the best chance of making that happen."

She ignored the part of her that felt sickened at the fact that she was now supporting the very people her brother was fighting.

Quote

We're kind of rushing Lylac's change of heart, but that's okay.

Also someone should come up with a more official name for the rebels. Something that sounds cooler.

 

Edited by The Bookwyrm
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Helkins snorted. "You want to fight? When I said you could join us or die, I meant that as a genuine option. If you want to swear the True Oath, I won't stop you. But I certainly won't be allowing you anywhere near a battlefield. You can stay here, help your friend develop her weapons."

Abruptly, the warrior's gaze moved to Tria. "Speaking of, you said you had a prototype?"

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"You were just holding it, actually," Tria said. She gestured to the pointy tool that Helkins had pointed at Lylac.

Not a tool, Lylac realized. A weapon. 

Helkins picked up the small pointy weapon again. On closer inspection, it looked somewhat like a dagger, but the hilt was thicker than it looked like it should be.

"Take a look inside the hilt," Tria said.

When Helkins opened a small hatch in the hilt and peered inside, he gave a nod of appreciation. Lylac couldn't see inside the hilt from where she was, but an orange glow emanated from it.

"I'm impressed, Tria. This is good work. And it's well disguised....this is perfect." He tossed the weapon to Tria. "Keep working on this."

Helkins then turned to Lylac. "I don't know what skills you possess, but they'd better be useful. We don't let anyone join unless they can help our cause in some way." He turned back to Tria. "I'll be back in a few weeks to check your progress and give you an update. Make sure your friend knows all of the important details before then. We'll have her joined officially in no time."

Helkins turned and looked Lylac in the eye. "Work on her loyalty, too. She's too unsure right now."

Then he stood up, his magical prosthetics whirring. He walked to the door, opened it, and left.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"What is that guy made of?" Lylac gasped as the door slammed shut. "What does that weapon do, and what does he mean by 'working on my loyalty'?"

"I helped build that arm," Tria beamed, "and that weapon, that's classified. I know how much you love studying magic but I can't tell you. We need skills like yours though. The Watchers need more magical scholars and technicians, they'll happily take anyone they can find, no matter your age."

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Helkins sighed as he tramped through the marshy terrain, feeling a familiar guilt as he thought of Tria's naïve enthusiasm. They don't remember why magic weapons were banned. No one does. He paused, crouching as his mechanical eye picked up on a flicker of life in the distance. Instantly, his armor shifted, ready to activate, his eye glowed red as it locked onto the threat, a dozen different methods of attack entered his mind, algorithm sifting through his memories to find the optimal way to eliminate the threat, some kind of flying creature... it was just a bird. A common owl, startled by his approach. He watched as it flapped away, heedless of the storm it had nearly unleashed. No one, except for me. How could I forget?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

How indeed. This area was heavily protected against... well, basically anyone. Despite his fearsome reputation... he had a lot of time on his hands. And he used it to update his security. Even though he was a highly regarded member of the Starbreakers, most people were too afraid of him to ask him for anything.

Stupid cowardly rebels.

Deep down, he knew the thought was a stupid one. He was the one who spent hours tweaking his protections so that someone armed would be electrocuted, then dropped in a pit.

Maybe naïveté is something we need. Better than your jaded paranoia.

Quote

What do we think of Starbreakers? not Skybreakers at all  Like Starmakers, but Starbreakers to symbolize that they rebel against royalty, and rebel against "stars".

 

Edited by Shallan Stormblessed
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Starbreakers sounds good.

Lylac paused suddenly, coming to a horrible realization. "My mom's going to kill me!"

Tria snorted. "She couldn't be that bad. I mean, she does treat any complaints about the queen as a personal attack against your father, but... uh..."

"Yeah, exactly. Did you know she started putting one rose petal on my father's grave for every dead Starbreaker we get a report of?"

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"She's that serious? I know your family's noble and patriotic and all, but that's pretty far, even for someone that spent two decades on the front lines." Tria walked around the littered room, grabbing tools off the walls and floor.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Yeah. She... gets kinda scary sometimes. I'm not sure what I'll do."

"I don't know. You could just... not tell her."

Lylac didn't love that idea. At all. But...

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Sure, I'll do that. That means I'm staying here then."

"Sounds good. Well if you have time, could you maybe help me experiment with using different power sources?" 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

we are definitely rushing lol

like, this is already stage 4/5 of the hero’s journey 

but it’s fun so whatever :P

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

In my opinion actually,I think the story has barely begun. We have so much room for more stuff, although it is true Lylac is a bit of a Mary Sue. (The answer is crippling family trauma) 

I’m glad that people are having fun :lol:. The power of friendship is an amazing thing.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I think it's going along really well. I suppose if we ever finish the story we can always have someone re-write the entire thing with better character development and background.

And....what if we did a POV switch to Lylac's brother, who's fighting in the war? Then we can show multiple perspectives on the whole conflict, and maybe it would help highlight why Lylac is so hesitant about helping the Starbreakers.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I think a PoV switch would be good, but it doesn't have to be her brother. Could be a potential love interest different soldier in the army.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Yeah, we need more perspectives on the conflict. Also more epic stuff. Epic battles are cool.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

They are. But also hard.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Quote

I'm just going to go for it. And I'll take your suggestion, Nameless, and do a character other than Lylac's brother as the new POV.

Meanwhile, in the western regions....

 

Kalan ran through the battlefield, bullets whizzing past him as he dove for cover. He landed behind a large boulder, covering his head as a cannon fired. The cannonball hit the ground nearby, sending up a cloud of black sand and dust.

Paul, Kalan's comrade and close friend, had also taken cover behind the same boulder. He held his sword in one hand, and a shield in the other. His rifle was slung over his back. Paul had been always a little unconventional in his fighting habits, but Kalan had to admit they were effective. Kalan himself simply used a rifle.

"How are you holding up?" Paul asked him.

"Pretty well, give or take," Kalan replied as he caught his breath. "Those rebels are giving us a hard time today, though."

The two ducked their heads as another cannonball fired. This battlefield was on the outskirts of the Malari desert, so all of the rocks and sand were black. Kalan's blue and white uniform was caked in the stuff. He'd have to clean that after the battle.

Assuming he survived.

"Don't worry," Paul said. "All we have to do is hold this position until another cloudship brings reinforcements. With those fresh troops, we'll outnumber them and win easily."

"I hope you're right...." Kalan trailed off as a communication came in through his earpiece.

Orders from Commander Satra, a voice said. She says to regroup at points B and C and prepare for a counterattack.

Kalan hefted his rifle and looked at Paul, who had received the same communication. They nodded to each other, then leaped over the boulder and began running toward the regroup point.

"For the Queen!" Paul yelled as he ran.

"For Shalari!" Kalan yelled.

 

Edited by The Bookwyrm
Changing the way the combat works to fit decisions made later on.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They charged. Kalan aimed at the leg of an attacking rebel and fired. He fell quickly. And then Kalan* noticed he'd hit the rebel in the torso. Not the leg. The man might survive.

But he might not.

Kalan looked into the rebel's eyes, let his guilt and sorrow show in his own, then turned away and hurried, pained, to where he was supposed to go.

Quote

*fun fact: my fingers typed Kaladin by instinct. Also, this got kinda dark. Oops. I like drama.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Quote

I think we should stray away from lasers and giant explosions. Early guns, cannons, and magically durable swords/armor/shields are all fine, but how would they produce lasers without magic, thereby making a magic weapon, which is supposed to be super taboo and illegal? Even if it's not magic, how exactly are we going to make magic weapons top it without going super large-scale?

half an hour later...

 

Kalan dashed towards the command tent, a slight rain just beginning to fall. Reaching it, he nodded to the guards, entering the tent and saluting. "Commander Hightor sir! I have a report from squad seventeen." The commander looked up from the map table, medals clinking as he turned around to regard Kalan.

"A report? Well then, let's hear it."

"Sir, we've reached the regroup point, and are prepared to deploy in defense of the cloudship. We've been joined by squads eighteen, fifteen, and twenty. Squad nineteen took heavy casualties and had to be pulled back, and sixteen is M.I.A."

The commander nodded, turning back to his maps. "That won't be necessary, soldier. Pull your men back and prepare to advance. The cloudship will be fine."

"I... sir?" Kalan took a step backwards, eyes going wide in shock. "If that cloudship doesn't have support, those rebels will destroy our reinforcements before they can deploy. Commdander Satra's plan wa-"

Commander Hightor cut him off with a glare, then turned back to his maps. "Commander Satra's been reassigned. Pull your men back. That's an order."

"...Yes sir." Kalan saluted and dashed outside, mind whirling. Commander Satra reassigned? Lights, I hope Hightor knows what he's doing.

As he reached the top of the hill that protected the back lines, Kalan paused shocked at what he saw. The rebels were... pulling back? But why?

The hull of a cloudship broke through the cloud cover. The reinforcements? No, the hull was too large. Kalan gasped, the reality dawning upon him. A warship? I thought they were all assigned to the Gevran border. How many strings did Commander Hightor have to pull to get one here?

Edited by Nameless
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.