Ookla the Confused

Let's write a story with the power of friendship!

95 posts in this topic

"I know!" Tria snapped. Then she looked down. 

"I know. I just... have you heard how the war is going? What we're doing?"

Lylac had to admit she hadn't. Her brother sent skyletters regularly, but they rarely disclosed any specific information. Pol(Paul) had a tendency to sugarcoat the truth.

"They're being absolutely merciless. And the rebels... the rebels... I don't think they're wrong."

Lylac reeled. What Tria was saying... it was treason. She could be jailed. Or worse.

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Posted (edited)

Spoiler

"Those monsters from Gevran are going to use magical weapons sooner or later," Tria continued. "The Kingdom of Gevran will take over all of Riladi if we don't resist."

She paused, sighing. "Our soldiers aren't ready. Our kingdom, Shalari, isn't ready. The Queen is a coward; she doesn't want to risk using magic again."

Tria gestured toward the pieces of the device all around her. "I'm not a coward. And neither are the rebels. We have Shalari's-no, Riladi's best interests at heart. We can't let them win, Lylac."

[The content above is no longer canon due to a misunderstanding. To continue the story, please go on and read the post after all of our discussion where we work out what went wrong.]

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Edit: I just realized that the rebels were the people that the war is against, (see Danex's first post) but I didn't realize this when I turned the rebels into a rebellious sub-faction of Lylac's kingdom and made another kingdom that they were fighting.

Should we just go with it, or should I change it?

 

Edited by The Bookwyrm
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Posted (edited)

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I feel like it will be more interesting if Tria's kinda committing treason? 

 

Edited by Shallan Stormblessed
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It's still treason. The rebels want to defend their own country against the invaders, but they think The Queen isn't taking the right measures to do that. They go against the law to defend their home.

 

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I don't know. I kinda want continuity... but it's not my thread. @Odiumiumium?

 

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I think it would be good for the rebels to have a legitimate reason, but also make the kingdom not entirely evil. I think it works right now, but it is a tad strange that enough people would revolt during a crisis...in order to...avert a crisis? It could be a specific province(s) that are suffering most are defying the national authority of the Queen, and it's caused internal turmoil and a greater external threat. 

Also a good rule of thumb would be first-come-first serve, just go with whatever is already there, unless you have a really good twist, or it makes absolutely no sense and is utter randomness. 

 

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My humble opinion is that it should be fixed, but it's (obviously) your decision.

 

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they aren’t exactly rebels if they’re from a different country lol. And I already dropped the phrase “civil war”, so yeah. 

 

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I think going with other people's decisions is half of the fun, and random turns only lead to more colorful places.

I personally like the idea of a war-beaten region fighting for help, and questions on which side is the correct side, or if there is a correct side at all, but that's only my opinion. I think we should keep posts, mostly because I never liked the idea of messing with timelines(it almost never works out in stories), but again if @The Bookwyrm doesn't want the story to go that way, I guess just spoiler the entire post and preface it with "misstep" (please only do this if it hasn't been built on and you really don't like the direction your post went.) 

 

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I made a mistake because somehow I missed the part that a civil war was happening. I wasn't reading carefully enough. But I am fully willing to change or delete the post so it fits what's already been said. No worries.

I'll just edit the post so it isn't canon anymore, then either me or someone else can continue based on the previous post. Luckily no one built on my misled worldbuilding.

Sorry about the trouble, everyone!

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Could be that Gevran is an old enemy of the kingdom, and the queen thinks (or seems to think) that some treaty they signed will keep them from attacking, while the rebels think the queen isn't taking the threat seriously enough. That works within canon.

 

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Posted (edited)

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I agree, I think it still works, Gevran is an enemy of the entire kingdom, and the rebels are suffering and the Queen refuses to help, so they are forced to fight for resources. They would even be experimenting with magic weapons as a last ditch effort to win on 2 fronts. If you want though, we can continue as if it didn't happen. 

 

Edited by Odiumiumium
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Here: I can make a new post that re-uses the lore, but still indicates there's a civil war going on. We'll make it so that the Kingdom of Gevran hasn't attacked yet, but there's a good chance of it happening.

"The rebels disagree with the foolish 'peace' that our Queen talks about," Tria continued. "The kingdom of Gevran is slowly advancing on our borders. Another war is brewing, Lylac. A big one."

She sighed and looked at the dismantled weapon around her. "Our soldiers are unprepared. Our kingdom, Shalari, isn't ready. The Queen refuses to ignore the threat on our own borders."

Tria turned and looked Lylac in the eyes. "Gevran will conquer all of Riladi if we don't do something. The rebels need these magic weapons. they need to win this civil war, overthrow the Queen, and ready our kingdom for the real threat."

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Does this work better?

 

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I'm sorry! I was going to say I'd reread your original one and decided it worked, but then I forgot to send it then went somewhere else, and so it sat unsent. You can pick which one you like best, then uses that one. Does that sound good?

 

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In that case, the second one works best. It combines previously decided plot points with the development I created in my original post.

You guys are good to continue the story now, based on my new post above.

 

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"The Gevran? When have they ever been involved? They were virtually destroyed only a decade ago, their military is in shambles. The rebels are the real threat to the nation." Lylac turned from Tria's demanding gaze, returning to the weapon that shouldn't exist. "You shouldn't be doing this," she gestured to the device, "and where did you even get these parts?"

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Tia paused, as if deciding whether or not to divulge this informations “…Helkins.”

Lylac gasped. “YOU TALKED TO HELKINS????”

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i have no idea who helkins is
maybe a notorious gang-type mobster or a weapons dealer or some sort of mythological fae-thing or some local criminal or whatever idk good luck lol

 

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Tia's eyes flashed upward at Lylac's response and she quickly brought her finger up in a shushing motion.

"Quiet Ly! The walls aren't that thick," her friend's response trailed off as if wall-thickness wasn't a problem she'd considered before. Lylac could see an avalanche of plans roll across Tia's face quickly as her eyes lost focus for a span.

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I was really tempted to dive right into helkins and make him a criminal AND a fae-thing, but thought a slow burn might be better for Helkins!

 

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Posted (edited)

"Sorry!" Lylac said, looking around for any signs someone had heard. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Did he give you any of him?"

Tria looked disgusted. "No! He needs all of his parts to walk and to function. But he told me about the war... what he experienced... If I tell you, you can't deny what I say is true. That the rebels are right."

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Helkins is a sort of General Grievous/Darth Vader cyborg and he fought passionately in the war, rose through the ranks and learned the military secrets. He became disillusioned about their "noble cause" and is now a rebel, spoken of in whispers and basically a legend. At least, that's my idea. Y'all can go somewhere else with this if you want.

 

Edited by Shallan Stormblessed
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"Helkins is a criminal though, Tria. He's in hiding. They'll execute him if they find him."

Lylac looked at Tria. "They'll execute you if they find out you talked to him. If they heard you saying these things."

"I don't care," Tria said. "It's time I do something." She gestured again to the dismantled weapon around her.

"The rebels aren't criminals for trying to protect the kingdom. They're criminals because the Queen fears the threat they are to her power."

Tria turned and looked at Lylac. "Helkins is coming to my house in a few minutes, to help me finish assembling this. Then we'll plan our next move. If I can't convince you that the rebels are right, then he can. Trust me."

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"No," Lylac stated, firm, "I'm not going to meet with the most wanted man in the entire kingdom. I want no part in this...politics."

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Posted (edited)

Tria sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that."

A knock suddenly came at the door.

Trina moved to open it.

"I'm your friend, Lylac. I'm not going to hurt you, and neither is he. Just hear us out."

The door opened, and Helkins walked in.

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Sorry if I'm progressing the plot way to fast.

 

Edited by The Bookwyrm
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Lylac scrambled away. Helkins stared at her, then used his metal arm to grab the nearest tool--which was, unfortunately, very big and pointy--and pointed it at her. "You said that there wouldn't be anyone here, Tria Dalin. Who is this?"

"Don't hurt her! I told he--"

"Tell me who this is. Now."

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"Uhh, she's a... an old friend, that uhh...came over to see how I was doing. And...she might be very helpful for the rebellion," Tria spluttered.

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Huddled against the wall and shaking with fear, Lylac just stared at the pointy metal thing the notorious criminal pointed at her.

She wanted to ask a thousand questions of Tria, but couldn't get any sounds to come out.

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