S. Stormy Posted June 26, 2022 Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 (edited) So I wrote Bridgeboy(a parody of Gaston. It's not very good.) Spoiler After the incident with his boots(he doesn’t hold a grudge.): Kaladin: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! All of Bridge Four: Darn right! No one says no to Captain! Kaladin: Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear Nothing helps, I'm disgraced Bridge Four: Who, you? NEVER!! Kaladin, you've got to pull yourself together. Far later: Adolin: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, bridgeboy Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, bridgeboy Even when taking your lumps Kaladin: Yeah, right, because my life is so easy... Adolin: There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Veil/Radiant: Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why Adolin: No one's hard as bridgeboy No one's scarred as bridgeboy No one's will’s as incredibly tough as bridgeboy Syl: For there's no man in town half as loyal Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Skar, Rock or Lopen And they'll tell you whose bridge they’d prefer to be on Adolin: No one's been like bridgeboy A Radiant like bridgeboy No one's got some slave brands on his head like bridgeboy As a Windrunner, yes, he’s intimidating All: My, what a guy, that bridgeboy Give five hurrahs Give twelve hip-hips Stormblessed is the best And the rest is all crem Adolin: No one fights like bridgeboy Douses lights like bridgeboy In a sparring match nobody fights like bridgeboy For there's no one as burly and brawny [Meanwhile, Kaladin is in the corner banging his head against the wall.] As you see, he’s got biceps to spare Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny [Since Kaladin isn’t and never will be saying his lines, Adolin is forced to instead.] That's right! And every last inch of him’s covered with scars No one hits like bridgeboy Matches wits like bridgeboy In a witty match nobody's wit's like bridgeboy Syl: He’s especially good at protectorating Ten points for Stormblessed! [Unless they're something negative.] Kaladin: When I was a lad, I trained 23 hours Every morning to help me protect And now that I'm grown, I fight 24 hours So I've protected roughly… [starts crying] Adolin[struggling to fix the rapid downward spiral]: No one broods like bridgeboy No one’s mood’s like bridgeboy Shallan: Then goes tromping around wearing BOOTS! like bridgeboy Kaladin: I use nothing in all of my decorating All: My, what a guy, that Stormblessed! And I tried to do Lightweaver(a parody of Believer by Imagine Dragons. But it's hard. Any help?) Spoiler First things first I'mma draw all the pictures in my head I'm ready to put all my Memories on the page, oh ooh My Memories on the page, oh ooh Big Spoilers for RoW. I know we don't have to warn anymore, but still. (To Mraize:)Second things second Don't you tell me what you think that I could be I'm the one at the reins, I'm the master of my seon, ooh The master of my seon, ooh I was broken from a young age Spitting my wisecracks at the bridgeboy Drawin’ my pictures for the few That look to me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me Hiding from heartache from the pain Feeling my Stormlight in the veins Drawing my ‘llusions from the brain Seeing the beauty through the... Pain! [To Pattern:] You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! You break me down, you build me up, Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! Oh let the arrows fly, oh let them rain My Veil, my Rad-i-ant, they came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver More Big Big Spoilers! Third things third Send a prayer to the ones up above All the hate that I've said has turned my Cryptic to a deadeye, ooh My Cryptic to a dead Blade, ooh (Yeah... not great.) I was blocking out my mem’ries Piling them all up in the treas’ries Getting personas like access’ries Wishing my dark deeds, they would flee (yeah I know it's bad) But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing Inhibited, limited Till it broke open and rained down It rained down, like... Pain! You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! You break me down, you build me up, Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! Oh let the arrows fly, oh let them rain My Veil, my Rad-i-ant, they came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver Last things last By the grace of the fire and the flames You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh The blood in my veins, oh ooh But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing Inhibited, limited Till it broke open and rained down It rained down, like... Pain! You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! You break me down, you build me up, Lightweaver, Lightweaver Pain! Oh let the arrows fly, oh let them rain My Veil, my Radiant, they came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a Lightweaver, Lightweaver I present: We Don't Talk About Moash! Any suggestions for fixing the struggling rhythm are welcome. MAJOR RoW spoilers follow: Spoiler We don't talk about Moash, no, no, no! We don't talk about Moash... but It was a rainy day It was a rainy day We were getting ready, Elhokar was comple-etely safe No guards missing in that place Moash walks in with a dark, vengeful grin- Please, no! You telling this story, or am I? I'm sorry, my captain, go on The king’s life is his demand! How could he do that?! Sylphrena says, “Stretch forth thy hand!” My readers, please get the POPCORN! All is healed but his shash brand What an EPIC day... but anyway We don't talk about Moash, no, no, no! We don't talk about Moash! Plenty say he’s got no chance of redemption His kills and his taunts get him much attention I associate him with the sound of screaming fahns, (DIE! DIE! DIE!) He’s a menace with crimes atrocious His thirst for revenge is indeed ferocious Always bitter to-wards those of high dahn Do you understahnd? An evil man Dubious mores(I discovered this word is pronounced "mo-rayz", not mores) Joined a singer clan He lives to serve Rayse Yeah, he sends you dreams And feasts on your screams (hey!) We don't talk about Moash, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Moash, no, no, no!) We don't talk about Moash (we don't talk about Moash!) He told me my friends would die And then killed TEFT! (No, no!) He gave up all of his pain! Now look who is dead... (no, no!) He said that all my hope would disappear, and just like he said… (no, no! Hey!) Your fate is sealed when he thinks you are inept! A Fused told him, “Hey go kill that old man” he said, “why shouldn’t I? sounds fun” Stabbed Elhokar, even though it would unquestionably orphan his son Oh, look! Leshwi is almost here He told me that the people I loved would all end up dead Don’t leave me alone! It's like I hear him now Hey Vyre, I want not a sound out of you (it's like I can hear him now) I can hear him now Um, Moash... Yeah, about that Moash... I really want to know about Moash... Gimmie the truth and the whole truth, Moash (Bridgeboy, your girlfriend's here) Time for dinner! An evil man (it was a rainy day, it was a rainy day) Dubious mores (we were getting ready) Joined a singer clan (Elhokar was completely safe) He lives to serve Rayse (no guards missing in that place!) Yeah, he sends you dreams (Moash walks in with a dark, vengeful grin-) And feasts on your screams (please, no!) You telling this story, or am I? I'm sorry, my captain, go on (oh look! Leshwi is almost here) The king’s life he does demand (an evil man, dubious mores) Sylphrena says stretch forth thy hand All is healed but his shash brand! He's here! Don't talk about Moash, no! (Why did I talk about Moash?) Not a word about Moash! I never should've brought up Moash! Also Surface Pressure for Kaladin is one I've thought of but not started. Any takers? Edited July 7, 2022 by Shallan Stormblessed Adding parody 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOID WANTS INSTANT NOODLES Posted June 26, 2022 Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 you might want to look at the cosmere musical thread. It has some great stuff 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Stormy Posted June 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 I have! I enjoyed it. Much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonianBookworm Posted June 26, 2022 Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 This... is wonderful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Stormy Posted June 28, 2022 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2022 Or maybe We Don't Talk About Moash(No, no, no!). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wandering Drow Posted June 28, 2022 Report Share Posted June 28, 2022 These are amazing! Doing this takes way more skill and dedication than I will ever have. Good job! That cosmere musical thread sounds so cool but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Maybe this is just me not knowing how to do stuff, but would someone mind sending the link? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOID WANTS INSTANT NOODLES Posted June 28, 2022 Report Share Posted June 28, 2022 11 hours ago, Wandering Drow said: These are amazing! Doing this takes way more skill and dedication than I will ever have. Good job! That cosmere musical thread sounds so cool but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Maybe this is just me not knowing how to do stuff, but would someone mind sending the link? here ya go 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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