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Hoid Insults He Never Said (and the things he did)


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Hello,

I am a fan of insults, and I hope some of you are too. What are some insults---from Wit or not---that you all enjoy? I'm willing to give some... [If any of you need help insulting someone, i'm here!]

Also, what are some fun Hoid scenes you liked? I loved it when he gave Wax the coin when he was pretending to be a (blind, as always) beggar. Whenever I see him in a book, I end up staring at the page, and then laughing my head off.

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"Why, Brightlord Amaram! I was hoping I'd be able to see you tonight. I've spent my life learning to make others feel miserable, and so it's a true joy to meet someone so innately talented in that very skill as you are."

"Do I know you?"

"No," Wit said lightly, "but fortunately, you can add it to the list of many, many things of which you are ignorant."

"But, now I've met you," Amaram said, holding out his hand. "So that list is one smaller."

"Please," Wit said, refusing the hang. "I wouldn't want it to rub off on me."

"It?"

"Whatever you've been using to make your hands look clean, Brightlord Amaram. It must be powerful stuff indeed."

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"Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I've seen your face before, my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am. I was there and I saw what you did. Saw it with my own two eyes. The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows. It's no stranger to you and me." -- Hoid before the drums kick in.

Edited by Leuthie
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  • 3 weeks later...
On 23/06/2022 at 5:48 PM, Leuthie said:

"Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I've seen your face before, my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am. I was there and I saw what you did. Saw it with my own two eyes. The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows. It's no stranger to you and me." -- Hoid before the drums kick in.

This one sounds prophetic. Who does he say it to?

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On 6/23/2022 at 10:18 PM, Leuthie said:

"Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand. I've seen your face before, my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am. I was there and I saw what you did. Saw it with my own two eyes. The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows. It's no stranger to you and me." -- Hoid before the drums kick in.

This seems like it's from a future novel exploring hoid and his backstory. I would love to see hoid genuinely vindictive towards someone

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  • 2 weeks later...

"It's not that I hate you it's just that if you were on fire and I had a glass of water I'd drink it". 

“I like to live every day like it's my last."
Shallan nodded.
"And by that I mean lying in a puddle of my own urine, calling for the nurse to bring me more pudding.” Hoid
 

Edited by LightweaverWannabe
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