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Posted (edited)

To the tune of "Survivor" by Destiny's Child.... the Kesier edition! If you are like me, you probably need to play the actual song and think/say/sing the lyrics below to see how it fits

(Warning, spoilers for all things Kelsier and Cosmere...Enjoy!)

Spoiler

Now that Mare's out of my life, I'm super bitter

You thought that I'd be weak without her, but I'm stronger

This Allomantic Snap has got me feeling power

I've got a brand new plan, I'm gonna be a martyr

You thought I wouldn't grow without her, now I'm wiser

I'm learning crazy secrets about the wider Cosmere

You that I'd be broken, hiding, but I'm chillin'

I'm taking all your a-ti-um and making millions

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

I'll kill the Lord Ruler, with my new crew yeah

I will survive (what), keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

Start a rebellion, start a religion

I might be dead but, I'll keep on survivin'

You thought I couldn't breathe after death, I'm inhalin'

You thought I couldn't see but I've been omnipresent

Who thought I wouldn't last, just look, I'm really livin'

I'm sending all the Ghost Bloods out to do my biddin'

There's no way I could fail, just look at me I'm on top

I haven't found out how to leave, but I won't stop

Thaidakar won't self-destruct, yeah I'm still here

The Lord of Scars in Era 4, I'm still gon' be here

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

I'm The Survivor, I'm gonna make it

To other realms (what), and keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

Finding new secrets, building my power

I will survive (what), keep on survivin'

Sca-dri-als are best

They pray to my image

 But I confess, I'm pressed,

To just escape from this (I'm better than that)

I'm not gon' stay here in the place I know (I'm better than that)

Won't just send avatars to visit realms I hope (I'm better than that)

I'm not gon' waste my time on Harmony's designs (I'm better than that)

I'm not gon' compromise on what I've got in mind (I'm better than that)

Not gon' to the Beyond, like everyone I've met

'Cause I just know that I'm better than that

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

I'm The Survivor, I'm gonna make it

To other realms (what), and keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

Finding new secrets, building my power

I will survive (what), keep on survivin'

Oh (oh) Oh (oh)

Oh (oh) Oh (oh)

Oh, woah (oh, woah), oh, woah (oh, woah)

Oh, woah (oh, woah), oh, woah, woah

After all of the questions and secrets

Soon comes full knowledge

If I surround myself with powerful things

I'll gain prosperity

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

I'm The Survivor, I'm gonna make it

To other realms (what), and keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

Finding new secrets, building my power

I will survive (what), keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

I'm The Survivor, I'm gonna make it

To other realms (what), and keep on survivin'

I'm The Survivor, I'm not gon' give up

I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder

Finding new secrets, building my power

I will survive (what), keep on survivin'

Let me know what you think or if you have any fun/cool edits! Also, anyone particularly gifted in the singing of songs and such that would want to turn this into something that can actually be listened to? haha

Edited by CognitiveShadow
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This is great!

On a completely unrelated note, here is my obligatory plug for the place to put all things Cosmere song parody: 

 

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2 minutes ago, Personification said:

This is great!

On a completely unrelated note, here is my obligatory plug for the place to put all things Cosmere song parody: 

 

@Personification Good to know! Had no idea this existed haha I will definitely drop this in there, looks like a fun section to explore too!

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Ah that was fun! There are a few places where the meter is a little tricky but it might be singable as is with just a few small changes (although in my experience the small changes are the toughest ones, lol)

I love the idea of Kelsier singing this to himself as he hangs out indefinitely in the literal Well of Ascension. XD

I've written a couple song parodies myself and I really enjoy the process when I think of an idea. I'm glad you're enjoying it too. High five!!

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Thanks! Feel free to make any changes / suggestions that you think might make it better haha I agree it could use some edits.

But yeah, it’s definitely a lot of fun trying to adapt a song into a parody, getting in the characters head a little bit and having some fun with wordplay. Have you posted your songs here? I’d like to check them out!

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