Nathrangking Posted April 29, 2022 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2022 9 minutes ago, DramaQueen said: Dino poem is really just meant to be cute. It's not supposed to have any other meaning. I just like dinosaurs. It accomplished its goal then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted April 29, 2022 Report Share Posted April 29, 2022 A random sonnet I wrote for Drama that ended up being about Hoid. Spoiler His hair is white as stainless pages plain, It flows ‘round glorious visage, fettered not By earthly pull nor leather thong profane, And seems to glow, so he be ne’er forgot. His eyes, more wondrous blue than sky so high, Or robins’ egg, or ocean deep below Their depths surpassing any mundane sigh And as they gaze, their pull seems but to grow. This wand’rer fair has travelled near and far To bring to pass his visions dear of old In times long past when evil did not mar And good had champions many, brave, and bold. But soon his journey ends, his task complete, And finished then, his happy end to meet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking Posted May 1, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2022 On 4/29/2022 at 8:36 PM, Condensation said: A random sonnet I wrote for Drama that ended up being about Hoid. Hide contents His hair is white as stainless pages plain, It flows ‘round glorious visage, fettered not By earthly pull nor leather thong profane, And seems to glow, so he be ne’er forgot. His eyes, more wondrous blue than sky so high, Or robins’ egg, or ocean deep below Their depths surpassing any mundane sigh And as they gaze, their pull seems but to grow. This wand’rer fair has travelled near and far To bring to pass his visions dear of old In times long past when evil did not mar And good had champions many, brave, and bold. But soon his journey ends, his task complete, And finished then, his happy end to meet. Nicely done Connie!! I would say tighten the images a bit more. For example where you write "And seems to glow, so he be ne’er forgot." And seems to burn, so he be ne’er forgot. Something like that might come off sharper. A burning visage as opposed to simply glowing. All in all well written! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted May 24, 2022 Report Share Posted May 24, 2022 Little sad thing I wrote because not feeling super happy. Spoiler The Dying, The Dying Of Humanity Flowers, once purple, once a vibrant magenta, are now stained. Stained red. Red with the blood of everyone. And I can hear the screams. Of the flowers. Of the people. Of the dying, the dying of humanity. My Grandfather once told me, “Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, and it takes.” He was right. There’s sinners and saints on this field. There’s flowers and thorns on this field. They’re all stained red. Except me. I’m not stained. I see the stains, but not on me. I see the blood, but not on me. I see the dying, the dying of humanity, but not on me. I watched. I listened. I witnessed the dying. The dying of humanity. And did nothing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking Posted May 24, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2022 (edited) 7 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said: Little sad thing I wrote because not feeling super happy. Hide contents The Dying, The Dying Of Humanity Flowers, once purple, once a vibrant magenta, are now stained. Stained red. Red with the blood of everyone. And I can hear the screams. Of the flowers. Of the people. Of the dying, the dying of humanity. My Grandfather once told me, “Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, and it takes.” He was right. There’s sinners and saints on this field. There’s flowers and thorns on this field. They’re all stained red. Except me. I’m not stained. I see the stains, but not on me. I see the blood, but not on me. I see the dying, the dying of humanity, but not on me. I watched. I listened. I witnessed the dying. The dying of humanity. And did nothing. Way to save the thread and hit hard with the poetry. I like the directness of it. The power is emotional, not visual. It demands that the reader feel what the words say that they should feel. It's very effective! Edited May 24, 2022 by Nathrangking 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted May 25, 2022 Report Share Posted May 25, 2022 Poem Spoiler It Is Over Phantoms dancing in the ballroom. Crisp pages turning and turning and turning. Loved ones smile with hollow eyes. Empty love fills the ballroom. Faceless phantoms effortlessly glide through the steps. The Castle. The Library. The Ballroom. Phantoms. Memories of people, twirling in the twilight. Melancholy notes echo through a void. My mind plays the song. Over. And Over. And Over. And then it’s Over. The phantoms fade. The crisp pages fold. The smiles turn down. The light dwindles. Time passes. The phantoms do not return. The crisp pages are not opened. The smiles never turn up. The light never builds. The void is silent. My mind is silent. It Is Over. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DramaQueen Posted May 25, 2022 Report Share Posted May 25, 2022 That gives me a very similar melancholy vibe as the song Once Upon a December from Anastasia, I like it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medium Posted May 26, 2022 Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 15 hours ago, DramaQueen said: That gives me a very similar melancholy vibe as the song Once Upon a December from Anastasia, I like it! i noticed that when writing it and listening to the waltz bit of the song i based it on. It sounds like Once Upon A December lmao 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking Posted May 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 17 hours ago, CalanoCorvus said: Poem Hide contents It Is Over Phantoms dancing in the ballroom. Crisp pages turning and turning and turning. Loved ones smile with hollow eyes. Empty love fills the ballroom. Faceless phantoms effortlessly glide through the steps. The Castle. The Library. The Ballroom. Phantoms. Memories of people, twirling in the twilight. Melancholy notes echo through a void. My mind plays the song. Over. And Over. And Over. And then it’s Over. The phantoms fade. The crisp pages fold. The smiles turn down. The light dwindles. Time passes. The phantoms do not return. The crisp pages are not opened. The smiles never turn up. The light never builds. The void is silent. My mind is silent. It Is Over. @DramaQueen well now I can't unthink that. The somber repetition does achieve its goal of inducing pangs of loss. The imagery is scarce, but ultimately the emotion carries the poem. Well done!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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