CalanoCorvus

Insanity Clinic For The Moderately Brandofandonitis Afflicted

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Posted (edited)

Welcome to the ICMBAAOM!! (Pronounced i-cuhm-bah-ohm)

This is the place to recieve diagnoses for Brandofandonitis and other BrandoSando related maladies.

Are you staying up well past your bedtime, engrossed in the latest addition to your favorite trilogy by Brandon Sanderson?

When a character makes a mistake, do you cry yourself to sleep?

When the main character is traumatized, do you sob and cry and wish you were dead?

Do you think you might be implanted with a Hemalurgic Spike, administered via suspicious cookies?

Come to the ICMBA, the Insanity Clinic For The Moderately Brandofandonitis Afflicted, And Other Maladies.

Here, you will never be allowed to see the sun, your family, or your 2000 square foot library, complete with Brandon Sanderson shrine.

You will be administered a [REDACTED] day plan until your Brandofandonitis (or Other Malady) is cured!

While you stay with us, Investiture, Connection, Intent, and other aspects of the Cosmere are heavily regulated and in most cases, prohibited. 

Cytonic abilites are grudgingly allowed, but hyperjumping and mindblades are prohibited.

Please see our complete list of rules at [REDACTED].org/rules.

Thank you for choosing us, and we hope you enjoy your stay!

Edited by Doomslug The Destroyer
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Posted (edited)

Hello! I am pretty sure I have some mild Brandofandonitis and some severe attachment to fictional characters. Is there any treatment for those?

Also, once I  get treatment, may I please be a nurse here? i do have some light experience treating people with Sanderson related maladies.

Edited by Szeth's Facepalm
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lol. I will take the treatment.

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Same here

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Posted (edited)

Hello new patients of the ICMBA!

The treatment requires you to stay at our facility, take your pills after every meal, do not accept/hand out cookies, and no Investiture (including Hemalurgic Spikes) intakes.

You will be allowed to converse among yourselves as well as some commslugs, for those of you with Cytonic abilities.

You will stay here until your crushes on fictional characters degrade, or until you can react in a calm manner to Brandon Sanderson releasing a new book or sneak peek.

Thank you for choosing ICMBA as your treatment plan for Brandofandonitis! (Or Other Malady)

Edited by Doomslug The Destroyer
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34 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

You will stay here until your crushes on fictional characters degrade

Uhhhhhhhhh i might be here for a while :ph34r::ph34r:

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That's perfectly fine!

We have free FC (Fictional Crush) therapy, Cosmere/Cytoverse Bingo Night every Thursday, and many other forms of entertianment to keep you occupied!

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8 hours ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

until you can react in a calm manner to Brandon Sanderson releasing a new book or sneak peek.

What if I just hide my reaction really well but am actually about to explode?

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11 hours ago, Tani said:

What if I just hide my reaction really well but am actually about to explode?

We have Seekers on hand to detect an increase in heart rate, indicating your hyper reaction.

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33 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

We have Seekers on hand to detect an increase in heart rate, indicating your hyper reaction.

:(

What if I just leave and accept the fact that I am diseased with Brandofandonitis? What if I have extreme Brandofandonitis?

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We cannot allow you to leave until you are cured. You may be a burden on society. Don't worry, the treatment is cheap and your insurance will cover it.

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*leaves*

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No :)

We cannot allow you to leave until you are cured.

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*eats pancake while humming lift's theme song*

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*calls 911*

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*911 informs Tani that the ICMBAAOM is within the full extent of the law to hold them there, and there's nothing they can do*

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On 2022/4/9 at 3:43 AM, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

You will stay here until your crushes on fictional characters degrade

Ok I'll be staying here for a while then:ph34r:

*lies down, starts reading*

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3 minutes ago, Rashek's PR Manager said:

Ok I'll be staying here for a while then:ph34r:

*lies down, starts reading*

lol same. I may or may not have been talking aloud to a book last night. Geeking out about the main character

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Welcome to the facility, patients!

Stay as long as you like! Morningtide, your dosage has been increased to get rid of that pesky geekout symptom.

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YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

*Dives out window*

Endless cosmere theories here I come!!! 

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2 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

Welcome to the facility, patients!

Stay as long as you like! Morningtide, your dosage has been increased to get rid of that pesky geekout symptom.

No! I need my obsession! It is my LIFE! *considers following Frustration out the window*  *decides against it*  *leaves in hope that the ICMBAAOM has at least one book*

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Frustration, good luck excaping our facility. You have just broken your arm by jumping out the 2nd story window head first into the courtyard. Our facility is encased in electrified barbed wire, with 24/7 security, complete with trained, bloodthirsty Whitespines!

Morningtide, thank you for choosing to continue your stay. As you can see, the dosage is working.

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36 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

Frustration, good luck excaping our facility. You have just broken your arm by jumping out the 2nd story window head first into the courtyard. Our facility is encased in electrified barbed wire, with 24/7 security, complete with trained, bloodthirsty Whitespines!

*Stores pain in tinmind and burns pewter*

*begins climbing fence*

"Given our current understanding of Realmatic Theory and the following Words of Brandon I have discovered the Fourth Law of Investodynamics!"

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Just now, Frustration said:

*Stores pain in tinmind and burns pewter*

*begins climbing fence*

"Given our current understanding of Realmatic Theory and the following Words of Brandon I have discovered the Fourth Law of Investodynamics!"

*blinks* Frusty, you need to go have some chouta and calm down.,

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We're very sorry, but you just broke rule #3. No unauthorized use of Investiture. We have dispatched Leechers to get you off the fence and into solitary confinement.

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