190 posts in this topic

40 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

Fatigue is nothing in the face of the best show since ATLA.

In that case... I'll probably watch it at about midnight tonight!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes good.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

yes I know it's a double post. But i'm really proud of this next scene!!

Scene #8: A scepter of death lays waste to his enemies, and he hates it. (TW: Descriptions of blood and gore)

Spoiler

Two consciousnesses.

One body.

I guess, you could say, that it was the original being, and thousands of other beings, all inhabiting one body.

This was how the Scepter organized his life.

The Voices lived in his head, along with him.

And The Voices demanded Death.

Always.

It felt like the Scepter was looking through a window. The Voices guided his hands, guided his sword, and he just watched. He was disgusted, revolted, at what he had done, what The Voices had led him to do.

Bloodstained hands.

Bloodstained sword.

Bloodstained cloak.

Blood.

Death.

The Voices Demanded Death.

Death For The Scepter Of Death.

The Scepter could not say no.

He laughed, and charged into the fray. The bloody mess that was battle became as a playground to him.

Sword met flesh, and The Voices rejoiced.

Fist met face, and The Voices rejoiced.

Death For The Scepter Of Death.

His foes screamed for mercy, screamed for pity, screamed.

His foes looked him in the eyes, and saw merciless pits.

His foes looked him in the eyes, and saw darkness. Death.

They were met with unyielding fury and rage.

Unseen hands guided his own as he loaded his crossbow with a firework.

Unseen hands guided him as he seemed to dash across the battlefield in an instant.

Unseen hands guided his arms as he aimed

A twang.

A flash.

A sound.

Blood.

Light.

Screaming.

The Voices rejoicing.

The People screaming.

Battle.

Death.

Destruction.

In his head, The Scepter screamed in fear and disgust.

In his head, The Voices screamed in rage and joy.

edit: yes it's inspired by Technoblade's character, and the song Voices by Derivakat

Edited by Doomslug The Destroyer
3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

AAHHHHH! So good!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm back hello! I wrote another angsty scene! (P.S. thanks Morningtide, you really are too kind I swear-)

*ahem*

Scene #9: Two friends reconcile violently after one gets brainwashed.

Spoiler

The rain fell.

The bodies fell.

The friendship fell.

Calypso’s hair was soaked, and it hung low and heavy down to her waist.

She didn’t see it as a burden, however, because the only burden around was standing right in front of her.

Riko, once her friend, stared at her in pain, disgust, sadness, and a million other emotions.

No guilt.

No remorse.

No apologies.

Calypso threw one of her knives at him, and he dodged easily.

“Callie-”

He was cut off by Calypso’s hair swinging out in a wide arc, slapping him across the face.

He fell down, into the mud, with a splash.

The rain continued to fall, and lightning arced across the sky with a boom, wickedly lighting up the whole area for half a second.

“Callie, stop!”

Calypso was crying, and she only knew she was crying because of the heaving in her chest. The aching. The rage. Her tears, though she was sure they were falling, quickly mingled with the cool rainwater that was also running down her face.

She stopped. Much as Riko deserved to die, deserved to suffer for what he’d done, she would hear him out.

Calypso still cared about him. If only a little bit.

Riko sat there for a moment, breathing heavily. His cheek was turning red, and it burned.

“Calypso,” He said, softly, quietly, to put her at ease, “Why are you doing this?”

“You know why!” Calypso shouted, and her voice didn’t sound like her own. It sounded raw, angry, and sad.

“No, I don’t.” Riko said firmly.

“You didn’t help him. He sat there dying, my little brother, and you did nothing to help. You sat there and watched.”

“What are you talking about?!” Riko asked incredulously. Little Gav was still alive, alive and well. Riko had seen him just yesterday, when he had popped by Calypso’s house to say hi. Calypso had been there too.

Whatever this was, it wasn’t the Callie he knew.

It wasn’t the Callie he loved.

“Callie, I saw him yesterday, you saw him yesterday! Remember?”

“Don’t lie to me!” Calypso screamed, seeing Gav dying clear as day, reliving the moment she hadn’t seen, over and over and over.

“I would never lie to you,” Riko said softly, “I would never lie about Gav.”

Calypso’s eyes flashed with rage, and she dashed forward with her knife, ready to slit Riko’s throat for daring to utter his name. But something stopped her, something held her back.

Instead, she held the knife at his throat.

She held the knife at her best friend's throat, and sobbed.

“Then why,” She heaved, “Then why are you doing it right now?”

“Do you remember when you broke your arm a couple years ago?”

Calypso didn’t respond, but Riko saw the flash of remembrance in her eyes.

“Do you remember what I said?”

Calypso shook her head, crying because she couldn’t remember, all she could remember was being told that Gav was dead, that it was Riko’s fault.

All she could feel was rage, betrayal, grief. And a hundred other things.

“I said I’d be there. Anytime, always, anywhere. I’d be there.”

There was a pause, and the only sound that could be heard was Calypso’s heavy breathing, and the rain.

Lightning flashed, and Calypso remembered. She remembered that event, she remembered someone telling her about Gav, her not believing this someone, then she remembered waking up and feeling only rage at Riko.

She’d been lied to, brainwashed.

She broke down, dropping the knife, which landed in the soft dirt, where it could do no harm.

Calypso sank into Riko’s arms, and cried.

Riko cried with her, though both their tears were lost to the rain. With the crying came the relief. From both of them.

Gav was ok.

Calypso was ok.

Riko was ok.

Riko rubbed Calypso’s arm gently, murmuring quiet words of reassurance.

“Gav’s ok. Nothing’ll hurt him. Nothing’ll hurt you. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Calypso cried.

Riko cried.

The rain continued to fall.

 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

....... I'm going to go cry now. THAT'S SO SAD. I feel like you should continue this story and have Gav actually die. Like immediately after this. Just to see Callie's reaction. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I'll do that. I'ma be right back.

@Morningtide elaborate super quick, please. What do you mean by 'Have Gav actually die?' you mean change the story so Gav actually did die? Or have him die after this scene takes place

Edited by Doomslug The Destroyer
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

I'll do that. I'ma be right back.

@Morningtide elaborate super quick, please. What do you mean by 'Have Gav actually die?' you mean change the story so Gav actually did die? Or have him die after this scene takes place

I was thinking along the lines of him actually dying in another scene that takes place after this one. Maybe killed off screen by whoever brainwashed Carrie? I was just thinking about how she would feel to know that the brainwashing actually came true

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahh. Ok I see where you're going with this. So, Riko would just be wrong?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yup. And then they have to deal with the aftereffects of that. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes cool ok thanks

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(dont kill me for double posting, it's my thread, and nobody cares)

Scene #9.5: Calypso's reaction to Gav actually being dead (Thanks @Morningtide for the idea!!) (Note: This starts right after Scene #9)

Spoiler



 

 

Gav’s body was found a day later.

When Calypso got home, her mother was crying softly on the couch. Her father was at the island, glaring at a spot on it so intensely, Calypso swore he was gonna burn a hole through it.

She immediately assumed the worst.

“Where’s Gav?”

Her brainwashing had, ironically, been washed away with the rain, and she thought Riko had been right, that Gav was ok.

She’d been wrong.

Riko had been wrong.

Gav was dead.

Gav, her four year old little brother, the pride of her life, her little Clover, was dead. 

Gone.

Snuffed out, like a candle, simply… gone.

And yet it felt like the world was ending.

Calypso immediately called Riko.

And started screaming. It was words, but they were nearly incomprehensible. Riko didn’t retaliate, didn’t scream back.

He just listened.

Listened as Calypso screamed and grieved and sobbed.

Gav was actually dead.

There was no fixing it.

Nothing would ever be ok.

Ever.

Calypso didn’t blame Riko.

She knew it wasn’t him.

If anything, this event brought the pair closer together. They were both crushed, but they were able to survive off each other. They shared the pain.

It rained again, after Gav’s funeral.

They sat in the rain, crying, and it was eerily similar to that other night in the rain.

But this time was different.

Instead of being against each other, they were together.

Gav was there in spirit, Calypso’s little Clover.

Riko’s embrace was warm and much needed.

Calypso knew, in that moment, that somehow, everything would be ok.

 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my gosh I love it. Sooooooo goood!!!!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:)

it is painful and i love it

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alright!!! A friend suggested a song called Sara by We Three, and oh my gosh it is so sad so i wrote stuff.

*ahem* Scene #10 (TEN SCENES YOOOO): 19 year old is VERY sad. This is one of most triggerful scenes ever, so TW for anything related to depression and suicide. You've been warned. (Scene 11 is on it's way, I'm working on it)

Spoiler

The Mind.

It’s freedom.

And a prison.

I know this better than anyone.

It traps me in its grasp, makes me think things I shouldn’t.

My friends ask why I’m acting so sad. I brush off the question.

They wouldn’t understand.

They’re blind.

They wouldn’t be able to help.

No one can help.

My mind likes to work against me.

My mind makes my hand hold the knife.

My mind makes my hand move.

My mind exults in the pain.

It shouldn’t.
I shouldn't.

I’m sad, yes, I admit it.

But no one can help.

I read the texts people send, but I don’t actually read them.

The weed helps, but it doesn’t.

My friends are worried.

It’s a facade, I’m sure of it.

I’m 19.

And I’m drinking. Heavily.

I’m 19.

And I’m smoking. Heavily.

I’m 19.

And I want to die…

There’re no angels for me.

I try to read the signs, but the words are blurry.

The time is 6:14. 

I’ve written things. I’ve written sad things. But I can’t make sense of them.

I tried to find things that make me glad.

Tried to convince myself that life is worth living!

I discovered,

It isn’t.

I couldn’t even find 2 reasons.

My phone was ringing.

My mind blocked it out.

The time is 6:15

My sleeves are rolled up. The knife moves for what seems the thousandth time. The pain doesn’t feel good. The pain does feel good.

My sleeves are red, when they were once white.

The time is 6:23.

I can’t see straight.

I can’t think straight.

Is someone knocking at the door?

Blurry shapes burst into my room.

My parents, I think.

And one other person.

A boy.

Who…?

And then I black out.

Part of me prays it’s the last time.

And part of me prays I get to wake up and see the boy who barged in.

 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'M DOUBLE POSTING BUT NO ONE CARES IT'S MY THREAD AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT (but still dont report me pls thanks)

I have two scenes this time!!! Busted some out!!!

Scene 11: A general and an old friend fight.

Spoiler

The General stared across the battlefield.

There stood his old friend, glaring back.

The Warrior’s Chant echoed in his mind.

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

The General drew his sword and began to make his way across the field.

His old friend, his enemy, did the same.

The General began to sprint, and as he sprinted across the battlefield, the scent of smoke filling his nose, the screams echoing through his ears.

He met his enemy in the center of the battlefield with a Clang! of metal on metal.

“Welcome back.” His enemy said with a sneer.

“Shut up.”

“Touchy.”

The General didn’t respond, just swung downward. His enemy easily deflected the blow.

For the beat and the broken

For the lost and forsaken

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

The Warrior’s Chant filled his head, filled him with rage.

He started deflecting his enemy’s blows, almost hitting him.

Back and forth the battle went, until finally, The General swung, swiped, and stabbed.

Then his enemy was on the ground.

Breathing heavily.

The General’s sword at his enemies throat.

For the beat and the broken

For the lost and forsaken

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

Chains that we are breaking

Fate that we are awaiting

We will rise unto the call

His enemy glared up at him, and muttered something under his breath, with a smile, “For the glory, and the fall.”

The General swung.

And his enemy fell.

Scene 12: A couple has a dramatic falling out.

Spoiler

Nicholas looks over his shoulder, at me.

“Do you know why we’re here, Maia?” He asks me.

I stare ahead of him, at the bench in front of us.

Recognition flashes across my face, and memories fill my head.

“Why here?” I ask, almost unhearable.

“Because,” Nicholas says bitterly, “This is where it started. And this is where it’ll end.”

For a moment I think he’s joking, because he’s so dramatic. That’s why I fell in love with him.

Then I realize…

He’s not joking.

“Nick-”

“Do you have any idea,” He hisses, “How painful it is to discover that?”

He doesn’t need to specify.

I know what he’s talking about.

“Nick, it’s not what you think.”

“How could it not be what I think?” He asks, so painfully.

“Because it’s not,” I say weakly.

“It… ripped me apart.” He says softly, “Finding out what you did. It ruined any chance of what could have been.”

“I know,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself.

Tears sting my eyes, and my heart sinks. Down, down, and down it goes, until it feels like there’s a hole in my chest.

“And so,” He says, his voice cracking, “I want you to hurt the same way. It’s only fair. And besides, after you recover, you can go back to him. He can be your Plan B.”

The bitterness in his tone is terrifying.

“Stop…” I whisper, barely audible over the gentle breeze.

“We had everything,” He says, and I look up. Tears gently stream down his face, matching mine.

“We had everything,” He repeats, “And in the course of one night, you threw it in the dumpster.”

“Stop…” I mutter again.

“You’ve turned me into this monster. I don’t want to make you hurt, but part of me knows it needs to happen.”

“Stop.”

“I want you to hurt like you hurt me that day.”

“Stop!” I say forcefully, still hugging myself. Tightly. “I doubt you know the full story. You already knew he hated you. He just wanted to cause you pain.”

“And you let him.”

“No-”

“You did. You went with him, and broke the trust we had. You broke me, and left these pieces scattered.”

Always the dramatic.

“Give me another chance,” I plead.

“I don’t know if you deserve that mercy, Maia.”

“Please…” I sink to my knees, crying. “No…”

He just stands there, looking at me. His eyes seem to sear my very soul.

He sighs. “I hate this, Maia. I want to believe you, I want to trust you. But you did something so trust breaking, I don’t know if I can.”

“Let me try, then,” I force out, sobbing.

He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he’s thinking hard.

“Fine.” He says softly, “One day. Come to my house, and explain everything. Don’t get your hopes up though.”

He starts to walk away, leaving me crying on the ground, but pauses.

“I’m sorry.”

And then he leaves.

And then I break.

 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/15/2022 at 9:14 PM, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

Alright!!! A friend suggested a song called Sara by We Three, and oh my gosh it is so sad so i wrote stuff.

*ahem* Scene #10 (TEN SCENES YOOOO): 19 year old is VERY sad. This is one of most triggerful scenes ever, so TW for anything related to depression and suicide. You've been warned. (Scene 11 is on it's way, I'm working on it)

  Reveal hidden contents

The Mind.

It’s freedom.

And a prison.

I know this better than anyone.

It traps me in its grasp, makes me think things I shouldn’t.

My friends ask why I’m acting so sad. I brush off the question.

They wouldn’t understand.

They’re blind.

They wouldn’t be able to help.

No one can help.

My mind likes to work against me.

My mind makes my hand hold the knife.

My mind makes my hand move.

My mind exults in the pain.

It shouldn’t.
I shouldn't.

I’m sad, yes, I admit it.

But no one can help.

I read the texts people send, but I don’t actually read them.

The weed helps, but it doesn’t.

My friends are worried.

It’s a facade, I’m sure of it.

I’m 19.

And I’m drinking. Heavily.

I’m 19.

And I’m smoking. Heavily.

I’m 19.

And I want to die…

There’re no angels for me.

I try to read the signs, but the words are blurry.

The time is 6:14. 

I’ve written things. I’ve written sad things. But I can’t make sense of them.

I tried to find things that make me glad.

Tried to convince myself that life is worth living!

I discovered,

It isn’t.

I couldn’t even find 2 reasons.

My phone was ringing.

My mind blocked it out.

The time is 6:15

My sleeves are rolled up. The knife moves for what seems the thousandth time. The pain doesn’t feel good. The pain does feel good.

My sleeves are red, when they were once white.

The time is 6:23.

I can’t see straight.

I can’t think straight.

Is someone knocking at the door?

Blurry shapes burst into my room.

My parents, I think.

And one other person.

A boy.

Who…?

And then I black out.

Part of me prays it’s the last time.

And part of me prays I get to wake up and see the boy who barged in.

 

Oh my gosh so sad. I love it!!!! Is it fine if I kind of use this as inspiration for a scene I'm trying to write right now? A very depressing scene that I can't get right. I won't steal sentences or anything, just kind of use the general emotional words as a guide.

On 4/16/2022 at 1:20 PM, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

I'M DOUBLE POSTING BUT NO ONE CARES IT'S MY THREAD AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT (but still dont report me pls thanks)

I have two scenes this time!!! Busted some out!!!

Scene 11: A general and an old friend fight.

  Reveal hidden contents

The General stared across the battlefield.

There stood his old friend, glaring back.

The Warrior’s Chant echoed in his mind.

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

The General drew his sword and began to make his way across the field.

His old friend, his enemy, did the same.

The General began to sprint, and as he sprinted across the battlefield, the scent of smoke filling his nose, the screams echoing through his ears.

He met his enemy in the center of the battlefield with a Clang! of metal on metal.

“Welcome back.” His enemy said with a sneer.

“Shut up.”

“Touchy.”

The General didn’t respond, just swung downward. His enemy easily deflected the blow.

For the beat and the broken

For the lost and forsaken

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

The Warrior’s Chant filled his head, filled him with rage.

He started deflecting his enemy’s blows, almost hitting him.

Back and forth the battle went, until finally, The General swung, swiped, and stabbed.

Then his enemy was on the ground.

Breathing heavily.

The General’s sword at his enemies throat.

For the beat and the broken

For the lost and forsaken

Let us never surrender

May we rise unto the call

For the glory and the fall

Chains that we are breaking

Fate that we are awaiting

We will rise unto the call

His enemy glared up at him, and muttered something under his breath, with a smile, “For the glory, and the fall.”

The General swung.

And his enemy fell.

Scene 12: A couple has a dramatic falling out.

  Reveal hidden contents

Nicholas looks over his shoulder, at me.

“Do you know why we’re here, Maia?” He asks me.

I stare ahead of him, at the bench in front of us.

Recognition flashes across my face, and memories fill my head.

“Why here?” I ask, almost unhearable.

“Because,” Nicholas says bitterly, “This is where it started. And this is where it’ll end.”

For a moment I think he’s joking, because he’s so dramatic. That’s why I fell in love with him.

Then I realize…

He’s not joking.

“Nick-”

“Do you have any idea,” He hisses, “How painful it is to discover that?”

He doesn’t need to specify.

I know what he’s talking about.

“Nick, it’s not what you think.”

“How could it not be what I think?” He asks, so painfully.

“Because it’s not,” I say weakly.

“It… ripped me apart.” He says softly, “Finding out what you did. It ruined any chance of what could have been.”

“I know,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself.

Tears sting my eyes, and my heart sinks. Down, down, and down it goes, until it feels like there’s a hole in my chest.

“And so,” He says, his voice cracking, “I want you to hurt the same way. It’s only fair. And besides, after you recover, you can go back to him. He can be your Plan B.”

The bitterness in his tone is terrifying.

“Stop…” I whisper, barely audible over the gentle breeze.

“We had everything,” He says, and I look up. Tears gently stream down his face, matching mine.

“We had everything,” He repeats, “And in the course of one night, you threw it in the dumpster.”

“Stop…” I mutter again.

“You’ve turned me into this monster. I don’t want to make you hurt, but part of me knows it needs to happen.”

“Stop.”

“I want you to hurt like you hurt me that day.”

“Stop!” I say forcefully, still hugging myself. Tightly. “I doubt you know the full story. You already knew he hated you. He just wanted to cause you pain.”

“And you let him.”

“No-”

“You did. You went with him, and broke the trust we had. You broke me, and left these pieces scattered.”

Always the dramatic.

“Give me another chance,” I plead.

“I don’t know if you deserve that mercy, Maia.”

“Please…” I sink to my knees, crying. “No…”

He just stands there, looking at me. His eyes seem to sear my very soul.

He sighs. “I hate this, Maia. I want to believe you, I want to trust you. But you did something so trust breaking, I don’t know if I can.”

“Let me try, then,” I force out, sobbing.

He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he’s thinking hard.

“Fine.” He says softly, “One day. Come to my house, and explain everything. Don’t get your hopes up though.”

He starts to walk away, leaving me crying on the ground, but pauses.

“I’m sorry.”

And then he leaves.

And then I break.

 

Also love these. You are so talented! They both seem like simultaneously relatable and fantasy-like scenes, which is something I love to read.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am quite literally speechless. YOU'RE SO FREAKING NICE MORNINGTIDE OH MY GOOOOOOOOSH. GO WRITE THE THING YES AND THEN I'LL READ IT AND IT'LL BE COOL TOO :DDDDD

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Doomslug The Destroyer said:

I am quite literally speechless. YOU'RE SO FREAKING NICE MORNINGTIDE OH MY GOOOOOOOOSH. GO WRITE THE THING YES AND THEN I'LL READ IT AND IT'LL BE COOL TOO :DDDDD

Cool! It will be shared when it is written, which should be soon but...... life of a highschooler.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Relatable.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Scene 13 coming soon!! It's a Dream Manhunt scene, but poetic!!

Coming tomorrow!! (Probably)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just read all of these and they're so incredibly well done. I feel the emotions so potently and I love your prose. Keep at it!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

*spins in joy* aaaaaaa thank you Lia!!!!! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do not enjoy this one too much but I'm sharing it anyway.

Scene #13: Literally just poetic Minecraft Manhunt.

Spoiler

The grass waved in the wind.

Water lapped against the cream colored sand of the river bank.

The trees stood tall and proud.

The world was calm, and tranquil.

And then Clay appeared.

Clay appeared out of the blue, out of nowhere.

And all around him, 5 more people appeared.

Ant, Nick, George, Sam, and Daryll surrounded Clay.

The grass continued to wave.

The water continued to lap.

The trees continued to stand tall and proud.

And yet, it was as if the whole world tensed. It knew what was coming.

It knew what was about to happen.

The Manhunt.

The air itself seemed to hold it’s breath.

Time stood still.

And then Clay ran. In an instant, he was past the Hunters, and was sprinting towards the river.

Keep running.

Don’t stop.

Stopping means death.

Stopping means losing.

Clay had done this before, done this many times.

He knew what to do.

Keep running.

Don’t stop.

He’d go below the ground, for minerals and ores.

He’d go to hell, literally, for other materials.

Trial by fire, trial by storm, this was his mission.

Until the end of time.

Into the water.

Out of the water.

On and on, over and over.

Until the end of time.

 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Poetic indeed. I love how you pace your pieces; this one specifically helps me feel the adreneline but doesn't fly by me and leave me behind. I love it.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.