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The CSP Organization


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This was a lot funnier last night, in my head, when I had more willpower to do it. 

I have a secret to tell you- but be forewarned, the information contained in this document might change your life forever.

In the world there are these strange entities known only as CSPs See, they may seem like ordinary cats at first glance, but do not be fooled. No one knows how they came to be, or how they exist at all- Some say they were once ordinary cats warped into strange forms. Some say they're extradimensional creatures trying and failing to disguise themselves as our feline friends. The uninformed may say that is simply how cats are.

No one knows the truth of their nature. But the organization I belong to, the CSP Organization, seeks to find these CSPs and capture them, making sure their mysterious goals never harm humanity. (CSP, of course, stands for Control, Shield, and Preserve)
Here I shall record some of these CSPs, describe how they look, how they act, and how one can keep them at bay.

CSP001
Description: CSP001 is a bipedal, black-furred entity with four tentacle-like appendages, with two used as legs and two used as arms. Other than these limbs and two yellow eyes it is practically featureless, with no nose, ears, neck, or even mouth. It is unknown how it manages to survive without nourishment, or how it seemingly retains the senses associated with missing body parts.

Controlled Security Protocols: CSP001 can get highly hostile if it is deprived of entertainment for even short periods of time. It is highly advised to always keep at least (3) methods of entertainment inside it's enclosure at all times, including but not limited to: A scratching post, a laser pointer, a worm-on-a-string, a cat wheel, and danglers, with the appropriate staff to handle these.

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CSP3.png.963c00ce615c1c9b0795b686a280718f.png



CSP002
Description: CSP002's main feature is it's abnormally long front legs and complete lack of back ones, making it's movements a dragging motion. Other than that however, CSP002 is practically identical to a normal feline, with a ordinary head and tail. It seems to enjoy laying near edges with it's front legs hanging over the edge, as pictured in it's official image.

Controlled Security Protocols: CSP002 requires few special controlment protocols- however, due to it's long legs, any harmful or otherwise fragile objects should stay at least 5 feet above CSP002's enclosure's floor.

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CSP4.png.bd9fdb1a419eb55a71848cb24a010c2e.png


CSP003
Description: To an untrained observer, CSP003 might appear to be an amalgamation of multiple different black cats. It has eight tails and seven eyes laid out horizontally, almost like an octopus that it uses to scuttle across the floor. Strangely however it still only has one mouth, nose and pair of ears, as it appears to have a primary face. X-rays have proved inconclusive however as it does not have any organs, instead being a single solid mass.

Controlled Security Protocols: CSP003's enclosure is to be regularly inspected for even small holes, as similarly to octopuses, CSP004 can slip through even small cracks.

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CSP004

Description: CSP004 is identical to an average housecat save for the fact that it's two front paws have been replaced with human hands, with human skin, fingernails, and opposable thumbs, of which it has full control of. The fur around it's human wrists curls into itself, creating the illusion of sleeves. It habitually grabs anything put in it's hands, similar to human newborns.

Controlled Security Protocols: CSP004's enclosure is to have autodoors, as using it's hands CSP004 can quite easily open and even unlock simple doorknobs.

Spoiler

CPS6.thumb.jpg.4140d36273408b428df86a3d626f6d76.jpg


CSP005
Description: CSP005 is another white-furred bipedal specimen. However, unlike CSP001, CSP005 retains it's nose, mouth, whiskers, paws, tail. It does lack ears and arms, however, and also unlike CSP001, it is totally deaf due to this. It is also quite fast, it's two legs being surprisingly powerful.

Controlled Security Protocols: Each entrance is to have two doors using an airlock system, as CSP005's high speed makes it difficult to enter it's enclosure safely without it bolting for the exit.

Spoiler

CSP7.PNG.eba2fecc9306b412d4eccccb66fb14c8.PNG


CSP006
Description: CSP006 lacks limbs of almost any kind and is abnormally long, with one end having a normal cat's head and the other splitting into two, creating a Y structure. It slithers along the ground like a serpent, and has even been observed to slide sideways similarly to a Sidewinder snake. The nature of it's fur should prevent this behavior, however it seems as if it's regular grooming adds extra grip to the bottom half of it's body.

Controlled Security Protocols: A standard enclosure will do for CSP006, as it has no special abilities that would aid in an escape.

Spoiler

CSP8.PNG.08aa8b8a48f32b1bc17515279168c914.PNG


CSP007
Description: Another black CSP, CSP007 has a normal feline head but almost completely lacks a body, mostly consisting as a hub for it's three tentacle-like appendages it uses to walk. To be honest it's kind of boring. Honestly I'm not even bother with Controlled Security Protocols on this one.

Spoiler

CSP10.PNG.3bcbfbc359286bf6b8cd3b7e8d1a094f.PNG


CSP008
Description: CSP008 is egg shaped with nothing but two green eyes and two limbs to walk around. Similarly to CSP001, it is unknown how it eats, if it does so at all. Overall, CSP008 is rather mysterious and secretive, usually keeping quiet and lurking in the dark corners of the enclosure where it is kept.

Controlled Security Features:  Lighting in CSP008's enclosure is to be kept dim, as too bright lights make CSP008 more aggressive.

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CSP009 
Description: Everyone already knows cats are liquid. However CSP009 takes this to the next level, having an almost glue-like viscosity. Be forewarned before dipping your hand in it- it's body is highly acidic, as this is how it digests food. That leaves it's mouth free for communication, which it often does in the form of high-pitched meows.

Controlled Security Procedures: CSP008 is to have a 75-gallon fish tank as a enclosure instead of the standard room. It shall be cleaned every month, with CSP009 lured into and kept in a glass cup during the process, as pictured in it's image.

Spoiler

CSP12.PNG.fad1be5a3c0e8aae30b1000ba11382f8.PNG



CSP010
Description: CSP010 is a normal feline save for it's incredibly large front right leg. This arm is highly muscular and incredibly strong, being able to punch through wood, concrete, and even steel if CSP010 is motivated to. However this extra large arm does make movement difficult for it at times- interestingly, to alleviate these struggles, it completely forgoes using it's front left arm, instead running on the forearm of it's strong leg.

Controlled Security Protocols: Keeping CSP010 regularly fed and entertained is of upmost importance, as CSP010 when bored tends to punch holes in the walls and escape. Trust me, we've tried to reinforce them. It doesn't help.

Spoiler

CSP13.PNG.17ab4bf6b091bd1edc270af248b492ee.PNG


Why am I telling you all this? I need your help. There seems to be an ever-increasing number of these CSPs, so If you spot any more possible CSPs out and around, we need you to report them using the same format as our catalogue. Importantly, an image is required as proof of it's existence. We don't take any phonies here, alright?
 

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CSP028

Description: CSP028 is a large tabby cat, with a strange shape on her forehead resembling a pentagram.

Security Protocols and Containment: CSP028 should be kept in a 16'x16'x10' cube room, with lavish furnishings (for a cat). CSP028 is not to be agitated ever, and should only be treated with kindness and civility. Any aggression shown towards 028 will be met with enlarging of the central core and legs, horns appearing from in front of the ears, and eyes glowing red. If CSP028 breaches containment, an FTF (Feline Task Force) squad should be dispatched immediately.

CSP ClassKitter Class CSP

*listen, I do SCP in my spare time, I know how to write an article hahaha*

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CSP1119

Description: CSP1119 is a cat that has taken the form of a human. With two arms and two legs, this bipedal monstrosity is able to use its legs and arms to complete every human task with ease, making it very deadly.

Security Protocols and Containment: The containment room should be kept at a strict 75° Fahrenheit. A fully functioning cell phone with an Instagram account and a Facebook account should be kept operating at all times, and a treadmill must be kept in the corner.

Spoiler

Instagram 1 || bts | Funny animal memes, Cat memes, Funny cats

 

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CSP184

Description: (Note: Description may vary based on photo used) Because of CSP184's hyperactive and anomalous nature, clear photos of it are difficult to produce. The below photo has been used for this article, as it is the clearest one that shows the most of the anomaly. CSP184 is a small black cat, with the ability to walk through solid matter. Before doing what the CSP has dubbed 'Meoving,' it will begin to vibrate excessively. Vibrations are already near-constantly present with CSP184, but are even more apparent before Meoving.

Security Protocols and Containment: Members of the FTF should always be present with Kitty Kennels outside of containment in case of breach. Containment is a 12'x18'x7' rectangular room, in which is an extensive, multi-floored maze. The walls are lined with citrus plants and scents, to prevent CSP184 from Meoving through the walls, causing a breach. The maze is a means of entertainment and distraction for CSP184, as it likes to try and beat the maze and get to the treat at the center (Note: Treat should be replaced every hour). If it does not beat the maze within ~10 minutes, it will Meove through the maze, reaching and ingesting the treat. In case of breach, a squad of FTF should entice it with Kitty Kennels and treats. CSP184 has been recorded unable not to Meove through Kitty Kennels

Spoiler

cursed cat by greggrules on DeviantArt

(Am I overdoing this?)

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