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Showing results for tags 'without honour'.
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Okay, here’s Chapter 8. I am of course conscious of comments to date about rationale for holding Saffen captive – I’ll fix that in Edit No.1. I propose to extend a scene at Cross Paths Inn where she eavesdrops on Marnar and Gillus, and overhears their plans before they catch her. I'm not sure it’s a strong rationale, but I’ll work on it, she needs to hear something suitably damning. I’ve added to this chapter on that basis. On the plus side, there is only one setting in this chapter, although there are different viewpoints. As promised, I'm going to stop submitting this now – have a break from it – then use your invaluable comments to edit the 17 chapters I’ve written, before pushing on to the end, then I’ll bung it in Alpha Readers if anyone’s interested. Thank you for reading! Your help has been priceless. Best, R
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Here is Chapter 7 of ‘Without Honour’. I'm going to start giving recap notes like others very sensibly do. I'm also going to include certain corrections that I maybe have not done a great job at showing in the chapters to date, so it’s worth the regulars glancing over this too, I hope. Also, a DP so far, in case you're picking this up part way through. So, here goes, the story so far: Tensions in the region are building towards another Brekian invasion of Svaringen, the last being 5 years ago, while neighbouring powers look on and political manoeuvring continues. The Brekians’ aim is to retake the once-Brekian Yores Valley which lies between the countries. Many Svars regard the Yoresi with suspicion, as they have divided their allegiances in past conflicts. Saffen is a spirited young woman who rails against the subservient role that society has shackled her with, and her divided passions have fractured her marriage and driven her husband away. She is now travelling to enlist and put the skills practiced in secret to use, but two fugitives have captured her. Gillus is fleeing the city of Svarheim, where Brekian spies held him. Marnar is also fleeing the same band. He is a Yoresi, the Bloody Hand of Brekia, a notorious assassin who killed the Svar king 5 years ago, although his identity is not widely known. The Brekian spies need him to play some role in their plans, but Marnar has no desire to aid them, having lost faith with Brekian values and aims. Damiel is a physic, a user of supernatural powers learned from a master in Brekia. He is a Yoresi and key member of the band of Brekian spies that work in Svarheim, plotting to once again kill the King of Svaringen.
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Hey guys, Here is Chapter 6 of Without Honour - I've run through this with a quick edit to try and pick up on some of the excellent comments that you have given me so far, but it is by no means 'fixed' so I'm sure you'll find something to comment on. Observations greatly appreciated. Thank you! Best, R
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Sorry for delay, attached is Chapter 5. I have edited this a bit, but I'll apologise now that there are certain things that you've called me on already that are still there. I know I need to reorder things to make them snappier, and the Vekalik section needs work. There are some other things you've kind commented on already which I'll get in the edit. Thanks for bearing with me, as I've promised before, I'll only post another three chapters. I've put the maps in again for those who might not have seen them in the first post, although there are only a couple of references to places in this chapter, I think. Thanks for your patience, and your comments. Best, R
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Hi All, Here is Chapter 4 - for those reading up to this point, I promised some action, I hope there is enough here. I like to think that this moves things on a bit anyway, makes it clearer what is going on in terms of part of the pitcure anyway. I know there is still a bit of Passive Voice going on here, I haven't gone through an edited for earlier comments, so you're still getting what is the raw first draft of the story - apologies for that!! All comments very gratefully received and appreciated. Cheers, Robinski
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Hi all, Here is Chapter 3 of Without Honour. If you've been reading so far you'll know that only getting two viewpoints in a chapter is quite a departure! Okay there's a tiny bit of a third, but look on the bright side, only one of the main ones is new. Still in the introductory phase, but hopefully things are entertaining enough to hold your interest. Bit more action coming in Chapter 4, honest! All comments welcomed, as ever. Best, Robinski
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Here is the second chapter of Without Honour - I've tried to take on some of the comments from the first submission, passive voice, wordiness, etc. There are three viewpoints here, which hopefully is less scattered than the new in the Prologue + Chapter 1. As ever, I would very much appreciate your comments. Please excuse the tracked changes, I had already set this chapter up before reviewing for the comments last week. Cheers, Robinski
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Hello All, Here (hopefully in your inbox) are the Prologue and Chapter 1 of my NaNoWriMo project this year, currently at 83,800 words (Chapter 16), probably 2/3 of the way through - I don't plan to subject you to the whole thing in weekly instalments, but would very much appreciate your thoughts on the first few chapters, then will finish it with your input and post in Alpha Reader thread, I think. Apologies for the length of this submission (4,700 words - less then the max!) - although having said that the chapters are circa 4,500 to 5,500, but I won't subject you to too many (I hope). Comments very much appreciated. Best, R