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sniperfrog posted a topic in Reading ExcusesHey everyone! Hope your New Year's Celebrations went well. This week, I am submitting a chapter from the same story as before, but this is from the perspective of a new MC. I am working out a timeline and the events in this chapter take place before my previously submitted work. I am not sure if I am going to move this ahead of the previous subs or not. I also have mixed feelings about the previous chapters anyway, so I will likely be making some major revisions to those. This is still an early draft, so LBLs are not necessary. If you see some egregious mistakes, though, don't hesitate to let me know. Combat is a place that I am looking to improve. Let me know if things are too hectic or hard to follow. I want there to be brutal fighting, so I am trying to convey that. My tone could also use some work. Let me know what sort of vibes you guys get off the tone here, so I can make adjustments accordingly. Dialogue is hard, and I am really bad at it. I have made several changes to dialogue in this section, but I'm still unsure of myself. Let me know how the dialogue flows here and if it feels natural. Last is Ch's Blade, V. I want to know how you feel about his interactions with the Blade and whether or not this works the way I want it to. Blades are not meant to be living entities (i.e. Shardblades), but they do have a bit of sentience in them. Like a more abstract personality. The map is finally here! It is not completely finished, but there is enough here to add it here for reference. I have also included my timeline and the calendar reference sheet, for easy use. This timeline will likely evolve into my main outline after it gets beefed up a bit. Let me know if you see anything that doesn't quite add up. Also, ignore any entries that have not yet been subbed, as they are still in the first draft phase and things will likely be changed. Thanks again for being so awesome!