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I can be a bit short and cranky at times ...as can we all I suppose...but now I have a great excuse ( that no one I know will understand but it will be funny to see their reaction) I will say I just used my superpowers and that makes me cranky!!!
First, some background. This is the rough draft for the Prologue of the first book in a saga about a wide variety of people around the world who gain superpowers after a world-altering event. The character that the Prologue is focused on is not the MC, and probably won't have a POV again for a long time into the series. He is integral to the plot, but on-screen won't be very involved. I decided to use him to introduce the story because apart from this scene it's taking a while for action to develop and I thought it would be a good way to hook readers and give them a glimpse of what's in store. With that in mind I want to ask anyone who takes the time to read this to answer a couple questions for me. Does this chapter hook you? If so, what about it grabbed your interest? What are your thoughts on the POV character? Do you get any impressions about his alignment? If so, good or evil? What about his target? Does there seem to be too much mention of blood (and/or) gore? Enough that it would scare YA readers from purchasing the novel? What questions do you want answered after reading this chapter? Do you notice any problems / inconsistencies (in regards to grammar or storytelling)? Any additional thoughts? I'll edit in some more questions if anything comes to mind. Keep in mind this is a rough draft and therefore will probably be rewritten with more detail, and likely some things cut out. Oh and, in case you didn't see the tags I'll make sure to bold this warning: There's a bit of blood and some swearing in here. Beware. Thank you, hope you enjoy.
Greetings fellow Sanderfans, Many years ago I began play-by-post roleplaying, and from that little hobby began to develop my own voice and ideas. I realize, however, that if I want to improve then I am in severe need of feedback. Considering we all have similar tastes in literature, I figured this would be the best place to seek it out. Though the first book is currently unnamed, the tentative title of the series is the Renaissance Saga, or Red Renaissance. It takes place on our world, several years after what scientists theorize is a tiny, hypervelocity star collides with our sun, triggering a luminous red nova. As the sun expands to consume Mercury, a solar pulse of energy permeates space, shattering Venus and nearly annihilating Earth. Thanks to our planet's atmosphere it manages to resist most of the damage, but we take severe casualties, losing a third of our world's population in the initial burst and millions more during the aftermath. In the wake of this event, the sun becomes blood red and a new element is introduced to Earth's thermosphere, transforming the sky into a lustrous silver. United by this international disaster, the surviving governments of the world come together to form what they call the Global Coalition. As one force dedicated to the recovery of humanity, they restabilize civilization and it seems life may return to normal. Only things are not so simple anymore, as some people begin to develop supernatural abilities. In vain of A Song and Ice and Fire, the series follows multiple characters scattered across the world and each chapter is named for them, though the title also includes information such as the date and their location, since setting shifts and flash backs will be rather prominent. Reckoners fans may be intrigued by this concept, however I should mention that it possesses a more mature narrative. Some of the characters struggles, especially in the beginning, are less action oriented and focused on internal dilemmas instead. A big element of the development of these abilities is that they are connected to the person's character fundamentally; I.E. a Marine who believed he was invincible now has skin harder than diamond but is also incapable of feeling, or a young woman whose felt invisible her entire life is slowly fading from existence more each day, becoming a ghost both in body and in memory. Anyway, I'll just add the first chapter of what I guess you could call the "primary" primary character. I would appreciate any opinions and feedback, especially regarding the flow of the story. I am attempting this series in first person because I think it would help the readers identify with each characters individual story and unique perspective. Though I am American, Reid was born and raised in England so I try to utilize british terminology and gramatical eccentricities. If any inconsistencies are noticed, or you see anything that feels unnatural / could be improved upon, please bring it to my attention. I am mostly looking for constructive comments, however if you like what you see statements of a purely positive nature are welcome, as I could always use the morale boost when writer's block rears its ugly head. Thank you very much. Reid 1.docx