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Hello everyone, This is the first half of a short story I recently finished. This is my first draft, after having done some revising already. I have some specific concerns, but I’d like to get unbiased feedback. I will probably ask you later about them.

Hello everyone, Here is the 2nd part, which concludes my short story “Elyse”. A quick reminder of what happened in the first part: Elyse is a new maid in the household of James’ parents. James is enchanted by her eyes and they seem to hit it off from the very beginning. After a weekend trip with James’ father, Elyse started to act weird. One moment she’s warm and amiable and the other she’s cold and distant. James is confused by her behavior and the first part concluded when his mother anounced that Elyse is suffering from a memory loss. I hope you enjoy my story.

Hey Guys! Let me know your thoughts on my submission. I'm most interested in: - Where is the story headed? - How was the tone? - How can I improve my voice? - Strength of plot? - How interesting is this to you? Please don't make specific story-related suggestions (like what my characters should do the next chapter), and try to ignore any typos I may have missed. Anything else would be terrific!