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You know that every Rosharan would set their telerials to the right channel when it was time for this show to come on air: The Odd Couple + Sword Setup: Refuges flood into Urithiru from all over Alethkhar, Herdaz, Emul, and Iri. Suddenly space is limited, Radiants who once had a room all to themselves now must live together. Due to the housing shortage Szeth, Lift and sword-Nimi are forced to live in the same apartment. Hilarity ensues. CUE THE MUSIC: EPISODE 1: Ground rules Setting: Interior of Lift's, Szeth's and Sword-Nimi's apartment. One side is barren, immaculately swept and has only one small square pillow and a pot with shinovar grass in it. The other side of the apartment is a sprawling mess, dirty dishes, half eaten chicken legs, old dirty curry bowls and dirty clothes wadded up and strewn over every flat surface. Szeth, sleeping cross legged on the square pillow, with nightblood strapped to his back, awakens and looks across the room at Lift's small form, hanging half way off the bed, snoring loudly with a half eaten roll clutched in one hand. SZETH: The young Radiant's burdens are light, she sleeps well sword-nimi. NB: Well, if you mean how loud she is, then Vasher slept even better. He sounded like 10 boulders rolling down a hill. (Laughtrack) (Lift wakes up, eats the half eaten roll in one gulp and then begins to scratch her backside with her shard-backscratcher.) (Laughtrack) SZETH: Ah, good you are awake. We can discuss the rules we will observe in our shared habitation. We must establish the bounds and determine the precepts of ordering our common living space. NB: Ah, the dirt and grime, all those dirty dishes. Let's destroy them Szeth, they look evil. LIFT: I've got a starvin' rule for you, stick to your side of the room and don't worry about my side. SZETH: I was thinking we could start with some common agreements about the cleanliness of our– (Szeth stops speaking mid-sentence as he is hit in the head with a half eaten chicken leg) LIFT: There, I just cleaned my side up some. Do you want me to clean some more Crazy face? (Laughtrack) NB: Oooh, she's so deevy (Laughtrack) SZETH: These are wise words, balance can only be maintained if– (Szeth is once again pelted, this time by a half full curry bowl. Curry drips off of his face and spills onto his formerly white robes) LIFT: Try balancing that on your face. Hey look, my side of the room just keeps getting cleaner and cleaner. I think if you keep talking like this I'll have my side clean in no time. (Laughtrack) NB: I told you Szeth, we should have slain those dishes, then they wouldn't have been able to attack your face like that. SZETH: I am a skybreaker of the 3rd Ideal, the surge of Division is mine to command. Perhaps instead of hitting me with rotting foodstuffs, I could assist you in the cleansing of your side by– (Lift throws another chicken leg at Szeth's head, but bursting with stormlight, Szeth raises his hand and applies a triple lashing to the chicken leg so that it goes speeding back towards Lift, who catches it in her mouth) SZETH: You will please let me finish, young Radiant. LIFT: (Talking around a mouth full of chicken) Sure thing crazy face, as long as you let me finish eating my starvin' breakfast. (Laughtrack) NB: Oooh, that was pretty deevy of you Szeth SZETH: I could use my surge of division to cleanse your side of the room of the accumulated filth and dirt, so that we could have a clean living space. LIFT: See now, I think you're missing the whole point. You clean up the room, sure, but then what happens? It gets dirty again. What's the point? Besides do you know how far away the kitchen is from here? Where am I going to put my food if I can't just leave it laying around. SZETH: You could requisition a larder or a hamper of some kind. LIFT: Yeah, a larder good that would do me. (Laughtrack) LIFT: I'd have to put my food into the larder and take it out of the larder, sounds ineffecient, and would probably make me real hungry doing all that, so I'd need to get more food. Then I'd probably need to get more larders and more hampers, so many that our whole starvin' room would be filled with larders and hampers. Wait a sec, look at our room, it kind of looks like the inside of a larder right now. (Laughtrack) NB: She has a point Szeth, it does look like a Larder. (Szeth stands up, robes and face dripping oily brown curry onto his clean floor, then walks over to the center of the room and places his hand on the floor. From his hand a brilliant orange line of light streaks across the floor, creating a scorched black line dividing the room in half). SZETH: You are wise. The room has been divided. Obey the simple precept that you shall not interfere on my side of the Room and I will not go on a Crusade to cleanse your side of the Room. (Nervous Laughter???) NB: Hey, what about my side of the room? SZETH: Shut-it sword-nimi. CUE END CREDITS. If you like episode one, feel free to write another episode of what is sure to be the most popular sit-com on all of Roshar.