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  1. Scene 1 Scene opens; Wax is sobbing into Steris' arms. After a while, Steris wordlessly gets up and walks out the way she came, leaving Wax sitting awkwardly staring at a fire. Scene 2 Scene opens; day, in the police station. Marasi: Hey MeLaan. I was thinking about the whole "Trell" thing. It's pretty alarming. MeLaan: Yeah, yeah. It's pretty serious. Did you see this cool spike I found? * proudly displays polka-dotted spike * Marasi: ...Where did you get that? MeLaan: Pulled it out of Wax's girlfriend while she was sleeping! Marasi: Give it back. MeLaan: Aww. Marasi: And when you're done with that, go back to your cell until you can tie a proper belt knot. MeLaan: Awww! Do I have to? Marasi: Our culture puts a lot of value in belt knots! But if you like I'll talk to Aladar about it. He's just standing by his desk looking dumb. Scene 3 Scene opens; a misty night on top of a tower. Lessie/Paalm is writhing around on the ground for some reason. Wax: Aaaugh! My love! What happened to you? Lessie / Paalm: Harmony is trying to stop taking over my brain, and it's killing me. If only someone could take this cursed magic bullet out of my head... Wax: Don't worry, I have just the tool for that! * points gun; gun goes into reverse, sucking out the magic bullet and safely loading it into a chamber * Wax: I am Harmony's surgical tool. * drops gun * Wax: Oh no! I dropped my bullet-sucking gun! Can you flit aimlessly in the clouds up here while I go pick it up? Then we can race back to the governor's mansion. Lessie / Paalm: Sure thing! Scene 4 Scene opens; night, on a stage before a churning crowd. Aladar: People of Elendel, after much deliberation, I have decided to clear this prisoner of his/her charge of being incapable of tying a belt knot. * crowd turns hostile, shouting and threatening to storm the stage * MeLaan: What is it with you people and belt knots? Aladar: Our culture puts a lot of value in them. MeLaan: Stop yelling at me, peasants! Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is for me to go to jail over knot tying? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? * crowd quiets * MeLaan: Huh. Shouting at the crowd makes them behave. Aladar: Wish we'd known that a while ago. You know, I bet they'll be content to go back to their downtrodden, overworked existence now. Hey, do you know where Marasi is? MeLaan: Nope, but I'm sure she's keeping out of trouble. Aladar: Good. I guess I'll go back to nervously pacing across your lawn now. MeLaan: And I'll shuck out of these bones. They smell like prison and failure. Scene 5 Marasi, somewhere else. Marasi: How dare you Soothe this angry lynch mob into being calm and relatively reasonable! Have you no respect for our culture? Set Soother: ...Could you stop pointing that gun at me? Marasi: ...okay. Scene 6 Interior of the governor's mansion, amidst a pile of corpses. Wax: Ha! Beat you back here! Paalm: You sure did! I had to stop on the way to get myself one of those bullet-sucking guns. * promptly uses gun to suck the bullets out of the dead bodyguards, healing them instantly. They immediately run out of the room. * Wax: YAY, YOU DID IT! Paalm: I KNOW! ISN'T FRIENDSHIP AWESOME? Wax: YOU SHOULD RUN FOR GOVERNOR! Paalm: ALRIGHT THEN, I WILL! Scene 7 Scene opens, somewhere dark. MeLaan: I'm considering what to do with my newfound freedom. Marasi: I'm considering the possibility that I tend to go a bit overboard with things. Wayne: I'm considering a dirty joke based on a comment you haven't made yet! ... MeLaan: I'm considering binding and gagging Wayne, then shoving him in a closet until Governor Paalm lets him out later. Marasi: I consider this a good plan. Scene 8 Scene opens; deep in the caves under the city. Wax: ...What am I even doing down here? TenSoon (in buff humanoid body): Oh, hai! I was hoping you could help me down here. Wax: Okay. What seems to be the problem? TenSoon: Oh, it's dreadful! Look at all these poor Hemalurgic abominations. I found them broken and dead down here and I need your help fixing them. Wax: Oh no! I'll help! TenSoon: Great! I'll put this one's spike back in while you use that gun of yours to suck the bullets out. * a few minutes of frenzied working later * TenSoon: There you go, little cutie pies! Good as new! Look how happy they are! I've never heard such happy howls! Wax: And you're a thousand years old! * TenSoon zips into a shaggy dog body for no apparent reason * TenSoon: Anyway, thanks for the help Wax. Though in truth, the poor Hemalurgic travesties weren't the only reason I wanted to talk to you. Wax: What seems to be the problem? TenSoon: It's... it's about your girlfriend. She's done the most dreadful things. I... I can barely say. Wax (blood running cold): ...What has she done? What has she done? TenSoon: She... she... she... she erased the blood-written footnotes out of our antique book collection! Wax: No! Not my Lessie! To be continued... Actually, probably not. I don't believe in drugs, but I can't get any weirder than this while sober. So just ignore this.
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