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Found 10 results

  1. Hello All! This is a short story I've been agonizing over and I welcome your feedback. It's scifi short story, stand alone, with creature feature emements. I don't think it needs much of a content warning but I'll put a mild violence warning just in case. Nothing graphic. I really near to bring this story down another 700 words in order to submit it where I would like to. Any ideas and tips on where to cut the fat would be greatly appriciated. I've carved off over 1,000 words already (I overwrote the crap out of it apparently) but need to find a few more places to cut. In addition, other critiques welcome. What did you like? Not like? What's boring? What's confusing? Where am I asking too much of the reader? Typo and spelling checks always welcome This is my first submission to the group and I look forward to your feedback! Sarah B.
  2. Hello! I'm Sarah B I started listening to writing excuses two months ago and 9 seasons and 1 NaNoWriMo later I would love to get some peer feedback. I have been a hobbyist writer for years but have leaned on friends and family as alpha and beta readers in the past. I think getting feedback from fellow writers who don't know my ideas and old stories is a great oppertunity. I read and write scifi primarily, short and long fiction. In terms of expertise, I am a registered nurse and am happy to help out with plausibility and terminology checking for medical/first aid scenes. I'm also happy to help brainstorm in Biology, psychology and nerdism in general. Sarah B
  3. I know a lot of you fine people on here are aspiring writers. Did you know there is a friendly and enthusiastic writing group under the 'Associate Works' banner? Why not check it out and you will find welcoming and helpful amateur writers, mostly raised on a healthy diet of Writing Excuses and NaNoWriMo, keen to read your work and offer constructive comment and discussion. There are writers of varying experience and persistence, keen to help and to encourage each other. Don't leave that project of yours languishing in the digital dust. Run it through the spell-checker and submit it weekly on Reading Excuses!
  4. I wrote a prologue to this chapter, but like I said before, you don't have to read it to know what's going on in this chapter. Tell me what you think and be as harsh as possible. I am not too attached to the draft.
  5. Alright. Since submitting this prologue, I have revised a couple of things and fixed one or two typos. Any who, if you got the e-mail, let's hear the critiques. Be as harsh as you want, I have a pretty thick skin.
  6. Hey Guys! Let me know your thoughts on my submission. I'm most interested in: - Where is the story headed? - How was the tone? - How can I improve my voice? - Strength of plot? - How interesting is this to you? Please don't make specific story-related suggestions (like what my characters should do the next chapter), and try to ignore any typos I may have missed. Anything else would be terrific!
  7. Previously on "Millenial Reign" - we've seen a young journalist named Prissy Davis freak out for no good reason at a baptism in 2014 Washington, DC. Then we fast-forwarded 19 years to December 2033 in Wisconsin, where a young local news reporter named Nina Constantinos has just been offered the promotion of her life by Priscilla Davis, the powerful Editor in Chief of WorldWide News network (WWN). This week we finish up Nina's time in Wisconsin and follow her to Washington for a somewhat shocking first day as a WWN National Correspondent. I'll offer my standard "this is not a sci-fi story" disclaimer inasmuch as it's meant to be a newsroom drama that just happens to be in the future, and the technology takes a back seat to the characters and social movements. This has not gotten as much revision as I would like, and honestly I wrote some new material here just today, but these chapters are ones I really wanted shopped. The first of the two is a bit more of the unmitigated sappiness that pervaded the first submission - although I'd like to think it's a bit better-written than it's predecessor. The second is when Nina finally gets dumped into the wild world of 2034 Washington DC. This was originally my beginning, and this is the third version of it, but it's still going to need work. I'm interested in feedback on the blocking of the scene on the Metro - what helps, what doesn't. This is my town and my neighborhood, and I'm very familiar with this particular Metro stop's odd layout. I don't want to bog down in detail, but I also want it to make sense. Also, tips on foreshadowing and worldbuilding without being ham-handed - the blonde on the train is important, just like the Indian family last week really needed to be there for reasons you'll find out next week, but adding people to the scenery without slowing things down is something I'm still working on. I'm trying to take a softer touch on painting the culture (it used to open with a long description of the people waiting for the train), so let me know how that goes for you.
  8. The beginning of the story that takes place in the world of Alden, during the beginning of a war that will engulf the entire chain of the Island Kingdoms. Excited to hear your thoughts this Monday!
  9. From the email: I think that covers everything...
  10. Hey everybody, A lot of you might not remember me but my handle on 17th shard was Acharles78 (psednoym Austin Charles). I think---if my memory can handle the fuzziness---that I joined this site back in 2011. I joined this site because I wanted to get feedback on a fantasy book series I was writing called the Incarni---I think most of if not everyone on here now is new and wouldn't even remember me or that story because I haven't been on here for a very long time. I just wanted to write because I remained on the emailing list and loved being a part of this community and reading all your great stories and I thought I'd share some encouraing news. I'm going to be a published author on september 1st 2013, and not for the Incarni at all. In fact I hit a serious wall with that story when I realized that although I had spent well over two years world building and writing the first book in the series not once but twice, I dreadfully saw that the story I was trying to tell had been told before over and over. The infamous peasant boy--girl in this case, with an enchanted lineage and yada yada yada---Luke, Harry, et cetera. But like I've heard a lot of other authors say in the past that sometimes you just have a story that won't work and that its better to cut your losses. So I dropped it and started writing other books. The longest of which I'm about two thirds of the way through that's not fantasy at all, but a dystopian world-at-war epic with people with powers, fighting tournament, drugs, very not fantasy. I quit fantasy for the most part because I got discourgaged, but I just started writing other things. The book that's getting published is a novella called Sheeple which is going to be published by Damnation books on September 1st. It's about 28,000 words long and came at a time when I was inbetween two huge novels and needed something that I could finish relatively quickly. I found a niche in the weird tale genre and a lot of my shorter novel works tend to be that. I did a complete 180 and published something I wrote on pretty much a whim, which usually those stories end up being disasters for me. I wanted to add that I accredit a lot of my success writing through the last few years to this site, the community, as well as all of your feedback on things that I submitted. Not only did posting help me out but reading your stories helped me out as well. This is a really nice writing community on the internet. Lastly, I just wanted to ask if any of you guys here on this site have any similar stories you'd like to share, published or not, or anything else years of pounding your head against the wall on something that hasn't been working has taught you. Hope everyone is still writing and thanks for reading. Austin,