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Hi All, My first submission is the opening to a novel I wrote this past NaNoWriMo, tentatively titled Oomph Unleashed. I've revised the first five or six chapters a few times, but the further into the ms I read, the messier it is. So here are chapters 1 and 2. I'm open to any feedback, but do have some specific questions. Feel free to answer or ignore them as you please. How well do I introduce the world? Where is there too much detail or not enough? What do you think of the pacing? Do you see a connection between what happens in the begining of chapter 1 and the end of chapter 2? Does the voice work? Are there any obvious, obnoxious sentence level issues? Content Warnings: Language (some swears), violence, drugs Thank you!! P.S. please let me know if I messed up any of the guidelines.