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So I like to write parody songs, normally for wheel of time, but when I heard “I’m just Ken” from the Barbie movie, I couldn’t stop putting Shen’s name in instead, so I had to write the whole thing. I don’t have the ability to record anything right now, so if anyone does and wants to make this song a reality, do itttttt. I’M JUST SHEN: Doesn't seem to matter what form I take Always been a slave, No one knows that I’m a spy, oh-oh, I I have passion surging in my veins, Rhythms in my brain, All my life I’ve been so dull, Treated like I was a chull [Chorus] 'Cause I'm just Shen No, I’ll never be one of them Am I just destined to pretend that I’m not who we all came here to face? I'm just Shen Where they see war I see my friends What will it take for them to see the man behind the scary carapace? [Verse 2] I wanna know what it’s like to be free, Let me out of this prison Is it at last?Am I deceived, or are those the rhythms? And is my moment finally here, to fulfill my mission? I'm no singer… [everstorm] Can you feel Parshen-ergy? Feels so real, Parshen-ergy Can you feel Parshen-ergy? Feels so real, Parshen-ergy [Chorus] I’m bridge four Nowhere felt like home before Found my family in the boards of bridges that we carried soaked in blood Im bridge four Where I saw hate, I found much more What will it take to end the war? Just put all of your dreams and hopes in us [Outro] I'm Rlain (He’s Bridge Four) And I'm back to fight the war So, hey, check me out, yeah, I'm Rlain My name's Rlain (He’s one of us) Gimme that fleshy hand to clutch Hey, Roshar, check me out, yeah, I’m Rlain Oh yeah, I'm Rlain I hope you at least get a kick out of this.

A cover of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeas but it's about Maps the Bridgeman. Song, performed by me on ukulele and vocals: Maps on Soundcloud Lyrics: Big beard, flat face Birthmark, what a shape shape shape What a shape shape shape, What a shape shape shape What a shape shape shape, What a shape shape shape Wait, they don't love you like I love you Wait, they don't love you like I love you Ma-a-a-aps, wait! They don't love you like I love you... Make Sig narrate We're going to die, We can't escape Rock cooks, stew's great Oh, shave shave shave, Oh, shave shave shave Wait, they don't love you like I love you Wait! they don't love you like I love you Ma-a-a-aps, wait! They don't love you like I love you… Wait! they don't love you like I love you Ma-a-a-aps, wait! They don't love you like I love you…

I was tickled by the idea that Brandon Sanderson noted that in Alethi, Kholin is pronounced "Kho-LEEN" with a fricative like a Hebrew chet, and who doesn't love to get nerdy and needlessly nit picky about pronounciation?? So here is a tongue-in-cheek entreaty to pronounce Kholin 'correctly'. Obviously, the relevant WoBs are linked! The lyrics are below, and the mp3 is attached at the bottom of the message, as usual it's me singing accompanied by me on the ukulele. To the tune of "Jolene" by Dolly Parton Kholene - rewritten by cosmere_play Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin No one says it right, this is a theme Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin Kate and Michael do not say Kholin I saw K-H-O-L-I-N And read it “colon” till the end But the only colon’s in that Shardplate scene I’d only read the book before I didn’t know I needed lore Some Words of Brandon to pronounce Kholin When he created names anew He borrowed ideas from Hebrew Then changed a bit to make it Alethi To his main characters he gives This voiceless velar fricative The K-H in Kholin makes us breathy Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin I’m begging you to say it as Kholin Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin Even Brandon doesn’t say Kholin Come with me and lay the bridge Enunciate a fake language Correct Alethi yes that is my scheme You've got the chance, don't hesitate To feel your dorsum resonate And be pedantic to a large extreme Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin Brandon says he cannot say Kholin Kholin, Kholin, Kholin, Kholin I’m begging of you to please say Kholin I’m begging you Kholin Kholene_cosmereplay_-_parody_of_Jolene_Dolly_Parton.mp3