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Hello all! Once again it is time for the yearly festivities of the ookla the mokovial©! You may have noticed other, stinkier threads that have been necro'd about it, but i figured that info is all completely outdated and unreliable and besides, you can't trust that shifty Kaymyth, can you! Not when you have ol' grand pappy Eero here to tell you the real truth! So....Ookla you say? You want to know the real reason for the holidays my boy? Well just sit right there and let me lay about some truth upon you! You see, a long, long time ago, when earth was in a more primordial state, Fierce God Fire and Willowy God Water were up in arms. "Water, you always douse my passions!" Claimed Fierce God Fire. "Well you, Fire, you always burn away my securities!" retorted Willowy God Water. Both were at an impasse. So, they turned to the wisdom of wise mother earth. "Mother earth," they said in unison, "Why must we always be so at odds? Can you not help us find a common ground?" "Well, children," Started wise mother earth in her slow drawl, "Let me think on it." And so she thought. Long and hard she thought. For eons and ages. Fast forward a few hundred millennia, and not that long ago (on a cosmic perspective), a man you may know by the name of Peter Ahlstrom, who happens to be brandon's assistant, was born! And that's why we rename ourselves to "Ookla the <something>" every year, children! Right up until koloss head munching day, i.e. brandon's birthday (or until we get bored of it)