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Here’s a lil exert from a chapter of my first draft. Opinions, tips, recommendations, questions, all appreciated and welcome! Maybe I’ll share more in the future. I’m 60k out of my 100k goal for the first draft currently. Ok… Welp I hope yuh like it!
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Hey! So I've made a bunch of outlines and the magic in them always seems, somewhat subpar so I'm going to post them here and see what other people think and would change. There one aspect of Sanderson's magic systems that I love and it's the fact the almost everything could be explained once the magic was understood. Like every bit had a purpose. And I want to add that aspect(or at least to some degree) to my magic systems. So here we go! In Predan the world is Destoryed, Fragmented. Full of islands in the sky ranging from the size of a small room to a large city. The higher islands are the most vibrant colors are. The lower they are the more monochrome. Magic here has 2 systems, One internal the other external, Not sure how I'm going to explain that one either. The First is Fragments(internal), the second is Base Magic called Attributes. Fragments are little stones from a ______(structure) That was destroyed long ago. Each stone grants a certain power. Like a Pigmentation Fragment lets you change the color of your skin and clothes letting you camouflage. There are hundreds more but few discovered so far. Once someone with a fragment dies, the fragment reappears in the original place it was found. Most people can only take one fragment, though there are a few who can take 2 and even fewer who can take 3. They are absorbed by "Drinking" them in. They are stones but as soon as someone starts to "Drink" then it will flow like water. A lot of the world is focused on Fragments because the world was "Fragmented" and everyone who wants power searches for "Fragments" etc. The second one, Attributes(external), are kind of like enchanted items. There are a few people who can create them, they are called Mystics. They are as frequent as allomancers in Mistborn. They can create these attributes. Each Attribute item is shaped like a ball and has to be rolling on skin in order to activate. People use gloves with dials on the back to keep the item rolling. There are different Attributes but the most common ones are flight(in order to get across islands), Sense to improve sight smell hearing etc, Strength, and Thought(mostly used by nobles to give them an upper hand). I'm not super stuck on these so if you guys have some better ideas I'm super open to them. You can also only use one attribute at a time. if you try to use 2 the second one will be destroyed. Ask me if there's something u don't understand too.