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One of the areas I struggle with is filtering. When I started writing, my dtory read like this: Brandon felt a cold breeze drift across his brow. Howard could see a dozen monkeys banging twleve symbols around a Christmas story lamp. Jordo heard Dan cry when the demon stole his latest writing contract. Then I went rou the James Dashner seemed to become upset when Mary's puppet pushed him into the pit Recently, when I read over my work, I discovered he looked/turned problem: "Don't touch my pie!" Howard cried. Brandon turned to give Howard a sour look, "Your pie? I took it from Dan's kitchen first." Mary glanced at Dan, and noticed his ears twitch at his desk where he'd buried his face into him arms. She turned to look at the pie, and shook her fist and yelled, "Cursed Lemon Meringue! I will end your spell of madness!" Dan lifted his head, and turned slowly before giving them all a wicked grin. He nodded at the pie with his chin and said, "That isn't lemon!" My scenes are filled with these words. My suggestion would be to take common errors they've noticed, and show how to improve the writer's voice.