So, this month I tried to NaNoWriMo a rewrite of my NaNoWriMo novel from last year. It didn't go that well; I'm a puny 4,000 words in. It's a complete rewrite, taking nearly no passages directly from the old story, changing things significantly. Problem is, I'm too close. I need some eyes on the new version, some feedback; am I just barking my way up an empty tree here, or am I making a better story?
New version:
Old version, same section:
Edit: Formatting changed for readability.