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About edonil

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    Wyrd Writer
  • Birthday 02/15/1988

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    Writing, Reading, Wargaming, Theology

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  1. So, one thing I wanted to comment on that I'm not so sure about...problem with jumping into a theory thread years after a book came out is that you miss all the confirmed facts. But, to me, the Knights Radiant are about protecting people. I could very much see Shallan being a KR as she is right now, because I don't see the Knights as an obsession with Honor, the Shard Honor notwithstanding. To protect people, sometimes you have to be underhanded. Right now, we don't know the reasons that Shallan killed her father...but I would not find it surprising that it was to protect someone in the end. Which, based on what we've seen of the Radiants, means that she's not quite out of the running yet.
  2. Oh, frankly, I hate the title Kate's Folly. I just needed something to put in there, lol. I come up with titles at the end of a project, or somewhere in the middle...but since people would probably get lost in a sea of Untitled in the reading group, I needed to throw something in the spot. Thanks for the comments on the military etiquette stuff. I'm not totally sure how much I want to closely follow the NATO system, but now that I know there's more to the system than the five second intro I was handed in JROTC, it's definitely something to look into! As far as how Akim is.... honestly, I'm going to toss this in as a spoilers thing, cause I want people's first impression of him, then explain the reason I wrote him this way to see if that changes it. Thanks for the feedback!
  3. Hey everyone, this is the prologue to the story I submitted last time. The more I worked on things, the more I realized I had too much backstory needed to get my character to the point she was at in that submission. I'm not really a fan of flashbacks, so I decided to start the story earlier in time. Also changed the name...this is more a placeholder, but it's more true to the story as a whole that I have in mind. Anyone, hope you all enjoy it! Looking for any and all feedback.
  4. Alright, so, this is, after naming cities and countries, my least favorite part of writing. Normally, I don't ever worry about it until something is done, but with Reading Excuses submissions, 'Untitled' feels weird. So, I'm curious, how does everyone else come up with their titles for things? Do you have themes that you follow, things that you come up with...? Anything? I'm just looking for any advice I can get.
  5. Could I submit something Monday?
  6. I'd like to participate...anywhere I can get a little more information? Or is it closed for joining?
  7. Thanks everyone for the kind words and the critiques! (honestly, a bit more for the critiques ) This was really an odd experiment all around, but I'm glad that it got started. Sorry for the bait and switch on the title, I've always been terrible with those and couldn't come up with anything better. Looks like I've got a good amount of work to do on this before continuing on, which is a good thing. A couple of you brought up the point of missed potential in the action scene...and reading over it, I definitely agree. Gonna be revisiting all that before I move on, and we'll see how that goes. (as an aside, anyone know if it's considered bad form to resubmit something once it's been edited?) Thanks once again all of you, you've given me a lot of inspiration and things to think about on how to improve this. Plus a few questions I need to figure out how to answer, too!
  8. So, little bit of explanation is needed here. This started as the beginning of a short story/novella, and has evolved into a full novel, which of course this won't be the beginning of. Stupid muse. This section isn't complete quite yet, but wanted to see what people thought of it before I continued on. Hope you guys like it!
  9. Question- if something is over the arbitrary number of words (but not super significantly), and it doesn't feel right to stop it at 5k anyway, can it still be submitted? I'm looking at one thing that's sitting at around 5300 at the moment.
  10. Republic Commando era Karen Traviss, or later?
  11. Honor Harrington, Victor Cachat, Nimitz and Eloise Pritchart from the Honorverse books. Wes Janson, Face, Tycho Celchu and Grand Admiral Thrawn from Star Wars. Also, Gilead Palleon and Mara Jade. Sabriel from the Abhorsen books. Mad Larkin from Gaunt's Ghosts. Garviel Loken from the early Horus Heresy books. Atomic Robo (I'm counting him )
  12. Hm. Probably should stop in here and post at sometime...now seems good. Name's Jon, I'm an electronics tester/theology student. Been writing for a long time, but the journey to become a serious writer and author really only started in the past couple years. Since then, been working on improving as much as I can, which eventually led to me finding Writing Excuses, and through that, Reading Excuses. I've been a reader my whole life, and started in on scifi and fantasy early, which has really influenced the genres that I write. At the moment, I'm working on a steampunkish novel, Shadows of Real, and started a short story scifi for a bit of a lark that is rapidly growing out of control. Favorite authors would probably be David Weber, Brent Weeks, Michael A. Stackpole and Dan Abnett. No offense to Brandon Sanderson, just only started reading his stuff, would be hard to call him a favorite author just yet! Looking forward to seeing what everyone in here comes up with for things.
  13. I'd like to chime in for next week as well. Just debating which of two things to enter...
  14. Ha! Finally found time in this crazy week... So, I loved this. Absolutely loved it. Great depth of intrigue, and a very well done job with Tao. She comes across as very believable in her manipulation, especially as you revealed bits of her past. I liked the subtle ways you did a lot of the diplomatic games that the two wives were playing, especially the bit about how the timepiece fits into the game. Not a heavy handed explanation, just a line or two that kept it pretty simple. I will agree that explanation of Bao Yong's role in the story could be a little clearer. I didn't have a hard time following it, but I can definitely see where some confusion could come in. One thing that I noticed that was sort of jarring was a bit of a cultural thing. The dirigible having golden dragons for me was something that stalled me out. Dragons in Chinese culture were reserved for the Emperor's house, and golden dragons were only something for the Emperor. The way you have it setup at the moment, it comes across as Yang making a very subtle (or not so) attempt to be seen subverting the Emperor. It's a minor detail, but something that I'd recommend changing. The other thing I thought odd was the ending. It seemed rush in some way. Granted, I'm not used to pacing in short story, so there's that... Also with the ending, I found it strange that, of the options she presents, he chooses the one that will be more damaging to his career. Definitely there's embarrassment in being caught like that, but to let her walk out with a manual of that importance? I would think that the consequences there would be much higher. Overall, loved it, looking forward to reading more from you.
  15. I could just kiss you right now, lol. I have literally been looking for a critique like that for years. Thanks muchly! Apparently I still have a lot to learn, which is awesome. I also need to revise how I introduce people and concepts...now that you brought it up, I'm seeing a lot of influence from particular authors I've read that did just fine, but weren't writing the same kind of story. One question, though...what do you mean by character tags?