Robinski

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About Robinski

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    Fighting unnecessary capitalisation since June 2013

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    Glasgow, Scotland

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  1. I'm sorry this is so late. Good intentions to get an edit done, but it took longer than expected (what a surprise). Anyway, here is the chapter recap, many thanks for reading and comments if you get the chance. No pressure. 01 - In small town in British Columbia, Q and M close out the Not-All-That-Curious Case of the Stolen Art; 02 - Q and M decide on what to do next, all the options seem to have some issue or other. Q's ex-father calls; 03 - After some political machinations, we meet EM (the administrator) and TT (the scientist) who at Gen Ex Trick in Yellowknife, NWT; 04 - T is coerced by M into releasing the MTs. They are meant to kill her, but it does not go to plan for M. Now he has a problem 05 - Back with Q and M, they speak to R before going to meet him at the airport, but the plane crashes in 'unexpected' circumstances; 06 - Q and M are questioned at the sheriff's office then taken to the hospital to see R who they manage to speak to briefly before M appears and kills R; 07 - Q and M are in the frame for R's murder. M decides they should run. Car chase thru small town. They collect 80, 'borrow' N's plane and run; 08 - E discovers T's disappearance, is suspended by DM then goes to see the YK sheriff. He takes her to a kill site, but it's only animals, not T; 09 - After some chat about the past and Mor, Q dumps N's plane on the tarmac, QME are recovered by EMS and taken to hospital, where they escape; 10 - E runs the gauntlet of the press then releases the Vuls. Q and M progress to YK. Q gets a mystery call. K is on Q's trail and intends to make him pay; 11 - Q calls E and leaves her a message, the Five-Star gets wrecked by a bear, DM is travelling back to YK and speaks with TOM; 12 - Q learns M about a local church, Q and M encounter a bear, Mor talks to TOM; 13 - Q and M reach Golden, learn of the election's status, call EM and then learn that people are dead in YK. Their plan will get them to YK this evening. Cheers, Robinski
  2. Hey Silk, so pleased to have your comments. Awesome I've edited this chapter since, reasonably heavily for the other comments. I think it's clearer know about the suspension thing. Another point of clarity that I think is better. Gen are trying to recover the MTs, I think it's clearer now. Thank you. Of course!! (Oh, I changed to executive washroom). Yes, I've changed this up quite a bit. Q says why should I trust you, and the caller gets all snarky a hollers a bunch of inside information at Q to prove 'his' deep throat credentials. Basically MC confirms Mor; the election plan; t/f are loose; more people likely to die; and Q's son is there. It kind of knocks Q for six, and there are some new inserted lines here and there in ensuing chapter with him trying to deal with the potential of seeing his son. VERY interesting. The downside of course is that you're reading unedited chapter, but I'm going to try and get into editing ahead of submission now, so I can at least let you guy read chapters that reflect some of the fixes I'm putting in now, supported and prompted by the excellent feedback. I'll try anyway!! Fair point. Well... er... okay, I just write that down... For what it's worth, I've cut about 1,500 words out of chapters 11-13. I'm cutting as much travel as I can, tightening up what's left. Since you're not at 0-B, 0-C and 0-D yet, @Silk, I could send you the new versions of those, if you are planning to read them in the next little while? Yes, hrm, that may well have been part of my cunning plan originally. As I say, I'm trying to cut out a good deal, make it more convincing, and make their progress feel more engaging. Right, see note above. I'm going to email you those news version of the chapters your coming up to. Which might confuse the comments thread, but will help me no end DONE! No rush. I'll be at this edit for a while yet. Thanks so much for the comments.
  3. Good call. That's exactly what they are (after checking the internet). I don't recall them ever being used, but my memory for that stuff is not great.
  4. And this is a point I've made in my alpha-read notes: rebellion against whom? Because it seems she is rebelling against the rest of the 'm' as much as against the pres, by seeking to leave them on Q while she...
  5. On one level, I understand this (from reading), and on another level I can't quite convince myself that I understand it. Short answer, it's me, fumbling around with questions I feel I shouldn't have to ask by now.
  6. Project 75192: Update 19 - Bags No.15, Part 1 - "Capping Off" These little units have the appearance of hatches, but I'm not so well versed in the minutiae of Millennium Falcom operation that I can remember what their function actually is, but they certainly were satisfying to built and attach.
  7. I can see what you mean! Interested to see how some of these parts fit together. I should catch up with my Falcon updates; I've got some pix in the bag.
  8. I would like to submit on Monday, please, if you guys don't mind continuing to read in the (potential) absence of other submissions.
  9. Thanks for reading, folks. I just had a quick scan of your comments, but obviously will come back to them in detail. Going forward, I will aim to get an edit in of each chapter before I submit it. I think this will save you nice people some time and dead mileage in trawling through stuff that is really pretty rough. There's chaff here, yes, and I'm working on cutting it to the point of dropping at least one chapter of material in about here, more if I can do it on first pass. Thank you for your continued patience
  10. So, I'm editing this these past two days and it's heavily cut. I'm verging on submitting it again, such was the poor shape it was in first time around. One point I should have made before, but was (rightly) off balance and defensive about, the mother in the vehicle is also a POC, hence there were 3 children and the mother, the 4 ---- faces regarding M and Q. The face that pale was M's, not the mom's. Untidy and unclear, but not the 'paternalistic' adoption scenario that seemed to come across. This chapter is changing so heavily – and I suspect 13 (OD) will get the same treatment – that I might be left with a single chapter that I might ask your forbearance to read again. Thanks for calling me on this one
  11. Thanks for reading @kais and @industrialistDragon. Much appreciated. Dropped the ball pretty badly on this one. I think most of it will go.
  12. Hey, thanks for reading. I guessed this is how this would go, in general terms, based on the last chapter. I have been through and edit before looking at the comments this time. I figured after last time this one would not find much favour, and so decided to save myself the time. I'm not sure I'll keep much of this at all. We'll see when I get into it. Hmm, certainly not the reaction I was going for. Well, he's not really an aggressive sort, but that doesn't mean he has to revert to childhood. I will review the whole thing. Might be able to cut it almost in its entirety. No, it's what I expected. I think I can lose most of this. Thanks for these. Probably mostly academic. Thanks for reading.
  13. Gosh darn it! Coincidently, Mrs. Robinski and I watched North by Northwest last night, which is probably still my favourite Hitchcock, and involves a train. The issues between Hitchcock and certain of his female leads have come under scrutiny, of course, but I don't think anyone can deny the chap made some great films, many involving trains. You'll be pleased to hear, @kais, that I cringed at the gender politics in various places. Ooft, 60 years ago and it shows now.
  14. I don't game anymore, but I've had my moment in my youth. My best pal and I used to RPG intensively through stuff like Diablo, D2, Doom, Quake, Runes of Magic, Mabinogi, etc. Now it's all office stuff, and writing, of course!! But there are always breaks. I do get some twitches, but nothing like what you describe; that's awful!
  15. Hello all, Here we are again. Any and all comments greatly appreciated, if you have the time and inclination to read. Tagged for Language for the usual reasons, and for Gore, but only slight references, not 'on screen'. Chapter recap: 01 - In small town in British Columbia, Q and M close out the Not-All-That-Curious Case of the Stolen Art; 02 - Q and M decide on what to do next, all the options seem to have some issue or other. Q's ex-father calls; 03 - After some political machinations, we meet EM (the administrator) and TT (the scientist) who at Gen Ex Trick in Yellowknife, NWT; 04 - T is coerced by M into releasing the MTs. They are meant to kill her, but it does not go to plan for M. Now he has a problem 05 - Back with Q and M, they speak to R before going to meet him at the airport, but the plane crashes in 'unexpected' circumstances; 06 - Q and M are questioned at the sheriff's office then taken to the hospital to see R who they manage to speak to briefly before M appears and kills R; 07 - Q and M are in the frame for R's murder. M decides they should run. Car chase thru small town. They collect 80, 'borrow' N's plane and run; 08 - E discovers T's disappearance, is suspended by DM then goes to see the YK sheriff. He takes her to a kill site, but it's only animals, not T; 09 - After some chat about the past and Mor, Q dumps N's plane on the tarmac, QME are recovered by EMS and taken to hospital, where they escape; 10 - E runs the gauntlet of the press then releases the Vuls. Q and M progress to YK. Q gets a mystery call. K is on Q's trail and intends to make him pay; 11 - Q calls E and leaves her a message, the Five-Star gets wrecked by a bear, DM is travelling back to YK and speaks with TOM; 12 - Q learns M about a local church, Q and M encounter a bear, Mor talks to TOM. Cheers, Robinski