Cathy Lim

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About Cathy Lim

  1. Hello Everyone! Here is the next two chapters. Sorry it's a bit long, I thought about cutting out the last bit of chapter three, but saw that some other submissions have been this long so I hope it's ok. As always this is somewhat rough in draft so I'm looking for what's working and what's not. Please, please, please include what IS working. Positive feedback helps me shape new ideas for the stuff that isn't working. If I can see where my writing is doing what it should I can model the rest after it. Thank you!
  2. Sorry for coming to this late, I just got the time to sit down with it. Also, I wasn't sure if I should since I haven't read anything else of this story, but wow I'm glad I did! First of all given I know nothing else about this story you did an excellent job in showing what was going on, and the characters were so distinct I had no problem just jumping into the middle here. So well done! I wish my writing was this good! Page 1 "Beneath them" I'm guessing you want this repetition, but the academic writer in me wants to find a different way of saying it the second time. Page 6 "Thee" it's fine, but none of M's dialog elsewhere uses thee or thine so it kicked me out Page 11 I am so impressed with how well you use the pronouns They/Them. I have to say when I needed to write a gender neutral character I cheated and resorted to using first person because I just don't have this good of a command of the language. This is the best I have seen it done- good job! Page? I forgot to mark it, but I loved the hand signal stuff. I love that kind of character inside familiarity. I eat that stuff up! For me I didn't think there was too much going on in this sequence. It all made sense to me and flowed pretty well. This is probably why everyone had a hard time with my chapter. I like when there's a lot going on and a lot of characters to bounce around. I probably just don't handle it all as well as you. Anyway, I enjoyed this- it was fun!
  3. Thanks! I really appreciate this!
  4. Thank you! I appreciate you chiming in!
  5. So I guess I have a question- Was there anything good about chapter one? Anything that i should actually keep? Thanks!
  6. Thank you everyone for making the time and effort to read and give me feedback. I appreciate it! I really need the help since my previous readers were unable to finish. I am grateful that you all are making an effort in my behalf- thank you! I will ponder what has been said and come up with ways to fix it. Thanks again!
  7. Oh, oh, oh- don't even get me started on this topic. Do you have the laughing/crying emoji on here somewhere?
  8. No- not R's passion, but mine. This is just the wannabe dress historian in me coming coming out. I try to inject a lot of costume description into my writing. Ha ha!
  9. Hello! This is my first time giving feedback here so I hope I can do a good job for you! First up you do a great job developing the romance between the characters, I enjoyed watching their interactions unfold, but I'm wondering if A is really the good guy and N is the bad? Maybe that's just my devious mind at work. Ha ha! I feel like when you relax into the scene and the conversations that the prose flows really well. I know first lines and paragraphs can be really hard to pull off, I haven't mastered them myself, so maybe relax a little more into those first paragraphs- I think they'll be great! P.1 - the wolf pups wandering through is a bit odd. I feel like it's trying to set up the fantastic nature of the story, but misses just a bit. Same with the flowers. It almost (so close) does what it's intended to do. P. 4- I like N. I really hope he's as sweet as he seems. Also page 4- the introduction of the pronouns feels awkward to me. Perhaps it would be in a meeting such as this. I agree that the flowers and the blood are repeated a bit too much. One or two reminders works. Chapter 2 P. 2- I'm a bit confused. Is W Korean? or her adopted family? I am adopted and that plays a lot into how well I feel I fit in. It seems like not just W's autism would make her feel out of place. How does she fit into this family? It doesn't need to be info dumpy, but there's more here to show. The story from her a. feels like too much and yet too little somehow. It feels like a big reveal, but too early in the story, yet we don't get enough detail to really understand what happened. I like the rebuff of N the next day. It plays well. I also like H. that seems like a fun character for the future. The text conversation at the end is great! It pulls me right through to the next part of the story- I want to know more! Overall this is a strong start! Lots of tidbits to make us wonder about this world and what is happening to W. Keep working at it- I excited to see how it comes together!
  10. Hello Everyone! I am new to Reading Excuses. Bill Tracy has graciously (heroically?) taken on the challenge of publishing my series. While he works on developmental edits of the first book, he wanted me to get reader feedback from this forum for the second book. Per his suggestion I have included a synopsis of book one for you- it does not need any critique. I only included chapter one of book two so I it could be a short read for you all. This is a YA second world fantasy. This draft is only one clean up edit away from the first draft so it’s still very rough. I’m looking for reader feedback on the story- what’s working and what’s not working for you. Thank you!
  11. Thank you! I appreciate the welcome and the help!
  12. Oh- that’s hard! I’m currently reading The Lost Metal. Before that I read King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo because I’m trying to become more steeped in the genre I’m writing. I love Sanderson, VE Schwab, and Naomi Novik. My favorite sort of depends upon the year. When I was a kid it was A Wrinkle in Time. This last year some favorites were A Gentleman in Moscow (gorgeous!) and House in the Cerulean Sea. I enjoy most everything I read though. I had an opportunity to meet Thomas Olde Huevelt after reading Hex twice- super sweet! Lots of good stuff out there- how about you? What is your favorite?
  13. I am a YA fantasy writer looking for help with feedback for my books and this group was recommended to me. Any assistance I can get will be greatly appreciated! Thank you!