Elf

GUYS 

I got my first salary 

From a tutoring side hustle

Is it the look of a fire that you remember? Or the burning it leaves on your skin?
Do you remember the orange flames reaching towards you, or the kisses left behind by the heat? 
The rain drizzles down onto the gray pavement and all I think of is your smile.
I think, I think, i think. 
That was always the problem, wasn't it? 
I thought too much and you never thought enough. 
You wove yourself into the very fabric of my being, into the humanity in this husk we call a body. 
And now I can't look at the stars without thinking of what might have been.
You had your demons, alright. 
But you always shied away from mine 
Did they scare you? Can you imagine how they scared me? 
Love was supposed to be the absolution, the salvation. 
Love was supposed to be a cup of tea on a winter day; a warm bed on a rainy day; wine on a moonlit night.
Love was supposed to be so much more than this. 
And yet.
Downy snow falls around me and it feels like your touch. 
I run my thumb through a lighter and your laughter echoes like a church bell.
Because you were a fire, strong and burning 
How I wished we could have burned together 
But now my soul scatters away like the ash of an unwanted thing.
Unwanted, undesirable 
Loved, craved,
With you, I was all of these.
I changed myself, bones cracking and heart shattering so you could form me as you wished. 
Weren't you supposed to accept me? Wasn't i supposed to be much more than clay? 
Did you love me for me, or for what you could make me? 
I don't think I'll ever know. 
I can only blame you as much as I can blame myself. 
Fire eats everything in the end, the buildings, the people, the life 
It will eat the earth itself and the birds will wander aimless on a barren wasteland. 
Because it takes its beauty from destroying 
And it's only lovely as long as you're not the one it's ruining 
We were never meant to be. 
We weren't "right person, wrong time" because for the right person there's never a wrong time. 
We were simply young and dumb, drunk on life and each other. 
I can't hate you, and I hope you don't hate me either. 
This chapter ends, now. 
Page turned.
 

MY FINALS ARE OVERR 

I HAVE TWO MONTHS NOW

TWO MONTHS TO READ AND LISTEN TO THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES (and others, cause let's be honest I'll finish magnus archives within the week) TO WATCH MOVIES AND INDULGE IN MY HOBBIES 

Finished season 3 of The Magnus Archives 

This show is SO GOOD (says I about a show that constantly pulls at all the heartstrings ) 

I especially loved the Gerry Keay episode, I'm going as him to comic con!!!

I have finals and it's itching at me that I have to study before listening more 

cri

(Itching huh? Maybe I should be wary of The Corruption?)

Elffff I started Malevolent, and I’m not far at all but I already love it and you’re right I ship them so hard. 

Okayy another TMA one 

OH MY GOD MAG.80????? 

AHAHAHSJAHAHA

And now listening to Jon's past is Mag.81- a guest for mr spider is pulling at all the heart strings 

I'm getting quickly obsessed with this podcast and might frequent the Shard more just to be able talk to others who've been caught in this web 

Okay, first of all I was doing not so hot for a while there but things are admittedly better now. I'm able to cope 

But guess who was finally able to get into audio dramas! I listened to I am In Eskew, Malevolent

And now I'm on episode 64 of....you guessed it! 

The Magnus Archives 

Took a little long to get here, but im here! 

Jonathan Sims my beloved (the character, obviously)

And also, the thing that calls itself Micheal. Why do I love this absolutely unhinged creature again?

So...I'm applying to the New York Film Academy next year. As part of the admission requirements, I've got to make a 10 minute short film as part of my portfolio. After I finish the script, will any of you be willing to review it? I trust you guys to give me constructive criticism on pacing, structure, and whether it would be feasible to shoot for a bunch of students or not. 

Thanks