2EmLee2

Something happened that made me start to think that Dominoes Pizza is really a cult. (But not really, the cult part is a joke. But the rest of the story is true.)

One day, our family ordered some pizza- one regular-sized pizza with cheese, and two small cheese-free pizzas for us weirdos who can't have milk. We opened the larger pizza box, and on the inside of the lid, there were four dots of some red substance. It was too deep a red to be pizza sauce, so our conclusion was it's either some red ink (It looked to be about the same hue as the red on the pizza box) or blood. Just to be safe, my dad called the pizza place and asked for a replacement pizza, just in case it was blood. It probably wasn't, but still.

We got the new pizza and my dad showed the employees some pictures of the red splatters(To prove he wasn't crazy or just scamming to get a free pizza), after we found two more red spots.

(Cue the pictures)

Still, it probably wasn't blood.

But, to make sure, we wanted to do a test to see how similar the splotches look to blood, so we sterilized a sewing needle, and my dad said whoever was willing to prick themselves got five bucks. My older brother, @Enter a username, immediately said he would. I mean, it was for science, so why not? He tried pricking himself, but it didn't work, so my dad tried it himself, but still couldn't. Then I suggested something. I have these weird bumps on my arms that I sometimes pick at, so I had a few teeny scabs that I said I was willing to break open to get some blood out. I was able to get out some and smeer it onto a piece of cardboard we ripped off of another pizza box. Once the blood dried, it looked exactly the same. Same hue, same sheen, same way it dried, everything. It was uncanny. But, we wanted another sample that was dripped instead of smeared, so I picked off another scab and laid on my back with my feet up to try to get enough blood to drip the same way as the pizza box to compare the to. Want to see the results?

Same. Exact. Storming. Stuff.

My dad called Dominoes and told them what we found out, and that brings me to my hypothesis: Dominoes is a cult.

I think that the way Dominoes gets the red ink for their pizza boxes is from the blood of their enemies (A.K.A. the people who leave bad reviews about their pizza), and the pizza store is a front, and the way they get their money. That's my conspiracy theory.

(I don't actually think Dominoes pizza is a cult. That was a joke. But the bloody pizza box was real.)

And that, my friends, is how I became a blood donor, for science.

(Even though I didn't get that five bucks.)