So I make music and rap, and wrote this a while back (around when Oathbringer first came out). I know my mixing skills aren't that great, but I wanted to make a tribute to my personal hero and writing idol. How many bars can you catch?
Also, I'm aware that some of the names in the fandom are usually pronounced differently, but as Brandon says: you are free to pronounce the names he makes up however you want! xD
This the nerdiest stuff I've ever done!
These days most Rappers are trying to stay topical
It's hard to be lighthearted and keep it comical
Yet I could act polite, like top hat and monocle
And still write raps longer than the Stormlight chronicles!
So stay back and stay wack
I pull guns and play Wax
Switch my flow up more than Brandon Changes Wayne's hats!
Yo, like this guy I'm disguised
Burning metal gets you this high!
Got more personality than Wit, need Steris to list my-
Atributes, yet I got attitude like Bastille
I'll turn into any weapon you want like I'm Syl
But stop reprimanding me there's no real damage done
'Cause I'm killing with a pen: that's Brandon Sanderson!
Son, you saying I am famous? Stab the eye like you're Sadeas
Even look like Adolin, 'cause I'm dressed like a playah!
Don't want me at your party, I'm an unwanted visitor
Don't spike the punch, I spike your heart; make you an Inquisitor
I burn MCs like Metals so call me a Mistborn
Got more fight than Bridge Four
More stormlight than six storms
And you're tripping like you're Sing, or Teft on opium
Step to me? Your career is unmade - your new name is Odium!
Got talent! You a Smedry, 'cause I think that yours is broken
I'm half royal, ruling grammar, call me semi-Kholin
Could rewrite the whole Wheel of Time - MC Jordan
No girls folding their arms beneath their breasts when I'm recording!
I could write like other rappers: "Took an enchantress from Elantress
Bragging how the answer is always to romance her."
Although that wine's decanted I'm still bringing witty banter
Harder than Horneater White while your stuffs the softest amber!
Every rhyme aluminum, every line a shardblade
'Cause when I run you through with one, I give you heartache
Worse than the one that Szeth gave Gavilar
Leave you more depressed than Evi's death made Dalinar!
I'm a chef, you're a cook, and your rhymes are thick as mist
Plus your bars are always falling flat like the Rythmatist.
But I'm so raw I'll leave your throat parched and
Leave you feeling less than a dark eyes: like a Parshman!
(That's harsh man!)
I'm not racist: Joyner of the Cosmere
Joining with the Cosmere to be the storming boss here!
Forming a new order like Reckoners meets Radiants
Drawing a line in the White Sand between you and my braininess
Making you hate this more than an Ardent hates an atheist
'Cause I write like I'm Jasnah!
You thinking this is alien? I came to win!
The rap Kaladin I'm that paladin
Leaving your brains addled, riding the wind when I saddle it.
Better step out the ring if it's me that you're battling
'Cause I win every duel: MC Young Adolin!
B.S. his initials; my lyrics? no way!
Swear to travel with swagger - call that my Oathgate!