She didn't pause in her exercise, but she did hesitate in replying. Her blade glowed a more vibrant blue, reflecting on whatever emotion she was feeling. "I did, to some greater or lesser degree," she finally said. "I haven't been with someone like that in a long time, but at the same time..."
Q didn't finish her sentence, jabbing the air with vigor. She looked to be considering her words before starting to say something. "I want to have a good time, but times in past has left me with issues. The last time I had feelings for someone, they ended up dead in my arms, while I did nothing to stop it." Her blade glowed brighter. "People have took me under their wing, only for them to stab me in the back after what I did for them. They made me think that they cared for me, but in reality, they didn't care if I lived or died. They only used me as a stepping stool to get where they wanted to go, leaving me with trust issues and with... flashbacks to whenever I'm experiencing the same thing."
She gritted her teeth, suddenly going a bit faster. She continued to step forward, getting a bit farther than Ellis as she started to thrust her bright blade in the air. "I don't want to see you hurt, or worse, because of me. I don't want to experience the same thing, only with a new person. I don't want to hurt again. I do care about you, more than you realize. I want to care for you as you do for me, but at the same time..." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she continued to jab the air. "I don't want to see you hurt. I want to trust you more, but I don't want that to be yours or my downfall. I don't want you to end up like Huoyan. I don't want you to be killed because of me, because I care!"
And with that, Q finished the exercise with one final thrust, tears streaming down her face. Her blade fell down at her side, practically a beacon with how bright it was glowing, and she kept her back towards Ellis. Her knuckles were white from gripping the sword tightly, and she continued to do so.