Gears

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Gears last won the day on June 18

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  1. I have not lost because I have no idea what you are talking about.
  2. Your story is great, but I have some criticisms. 1. The colours are distracting. Just make it all black. I understand that you want to differentiate the viewpoints, but a normal book doesn't have rainbows for text. 2. June is both a child who is not mature enough to know that humans are real and a person trained with a weapon and ready to kill people. This is very dissonant. If your mother was murdered and you were a kid, would your first thought be murder? 3. Some sentences feel like they're meant for the audience's understanding instead of being thoughts from the point-of-view character. "No, not like Sulley and Mike Wazowski, but creatures that you might have read about in fairytales. Fairies, elves, centaurs, imps, mermaids, trolls, and pixies are just a few examples." Sulley and Mike Wazowski don't exist in this universe, so why would Matthias be thinking about them? You have to decide between third person limited and third person omniscient. Right now, it feels like you're trying to force feed the audience information. 4. Some sentences are from other character's point of view in the middle of someone else's chapter. In Cami's chapter, Preston thinks, "Trying not to expect too much, but extremely curious as to why this beautiful pixie was in this dark forest at this time, the white-haired boy couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer." This is Cami's chapter, not Preston's. How would Cami know that Preston is curious and thinks she is beautiful? 4. Why do the races have magical camouflage powers? If I was writing this, I would have there be a few races with camouflage powers and all the other races buy glamours from them. This would cause a distinct divide between the rich and the poor. Centaurs being able to just magically turn human seems strange. I can understand pixies, since they have magic in folklore, but centaurs? 5. Gracie's trauma seems overdone. You can make her a traumatised character without having her witness her mother's suicide. The abusive home is probably enough. Overall, your story is good, but could be better. With a little more experience in characterisation and writing third-person limited, you'll be an amazing writer.
  3. There was not multiple killers in the eponymous books, though there were in some of the others. The cycle names are titles of Agatha Christie novels/short stories. A brief summary of the Blue Geranium in the spoiler box.
  4. Vestigial suspicion from earlier cycles. My lack of suspects. I don't know. Matrim is a definite suspicion, Araris is suspicious because he's pushing for my lynch [though I do think he's probably a villager that came to the wrong conclusion], I'm vaguely paranoid concerning TJ. Ignore TJ for now, and if you have no better suspects, come back to him. Matrim and Araris are more important, though if you do run out of suspicions, I would recommend eliminating TJ before the next highstorm.
  5. If I am not lynched, I will be surprised. Suspicions [in order from most to least]: Matrim, TJ, Araris [because they are pushing for my lynch, though I understand that I have been suspicious]. Alternatives include the people that Araris mentioned [Devotary, Pyro, Truthwatcher]. However, my suspicion radar is extremely awful, so I recommend you formulate your own suspicions as well.
  6. I have expressed suspicions. They have simply been vastly outnumbered by my conditional lynches. I have proposed your lynch a fair number of times, I have mentioned a suspicion of Matrim for not being killed, I have mentioned Elbereth's lynch, etc. The conditional lynches I have outlined have not led to anything as you and I yet live. Conditional lynches, detrimental though they might be, are a functional method of determining alignment [though the conditional lynches have evidently gone anywhere as you and I yet live].
  7. This mislynch onto you is probably just my paranoia. You are extrapolating from a sample size of one. Given that Elbereth is inactive [which I did not notice somehow, thank you TJ], I will change my vote to Matrim to effectively express my paranoia and suspicion. If I die, I request that you lynch Matrim and TJ.
  8. I understand your point, but if you had been killed, they could have started a mislynch on me and then killed Joe. Given that you are a confirmed squire, I would have expected you to be very high on the kill list.
  9. The fact that the elims did not kill Matrim confuses me. As a confirmed squire, they should have been a prime target, especially considering that they would be getting Stormlight today. The elims could have feared Progression, or Matrim is an elim. I still want to lynch Elbereth first but I would prioritize a Matrim lynch over other lynch candidates.
  10. So we have confirmed a lack of participation after death?
  11. Participation after death? Truly? This is fascinating. Possibilities: The dead can roleblock someone, the dead can kill someone [unlikely], the dead can give people items. General populace, theorize more possibilities!
  12. The elims are probably going to kill you so they can get a mislynch on me. You are a known squire and thus a prime target for the elims. You wish to lynch me. If you flip village, I will [probably] be lynched. Next turn, I will push for an Elbereth lynch. If I am lynched, I would recommend an Elbereth lynch. Araris and TJ are distant seconds on my suspicion radar.
  13. Could you elaborate please? How am I evil?
  14. @Sorana
  15. I do not find TJ a good lynch by any means. I simply find him a better lynch than people I remember nothing about. He has been greatly helpful, and yet he has led the lynch against two villagers. Though he could not know the utility of those villagers, he has turned our attention away from him. I also might suspect Araris for suggesting lynch targets that I don't suspect, though I can understand that other people have differing suspicions.