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This week, I went through one of easily the most challenging things I will ever have to face.

Some background: At FSY, through sheer coincidence, I met and befriended a non-binary named River. River was not that outgoing, but we became fast friends, got each others numbers, and I have stayed in contact with them since FSY over a month ago. A few weeks ago, before my trip, they dubbed me as their 'adoptive older brother,' meaning we became such good friends, we became siblings. They are my little sister, I am their older brother.

Now for the story:

On Tuesday, July 26, at around 1:15 PM, they randomly texted me "i love you dude." I thought this random, and said as such. They responded that they just felt like saying it. They then said that if "anything happens to me, don't miss me, ok?"

Of course, me, being too smart for my own good, read between the lines instantly, grasping the true meaning behind both these texts. And what I realized, terrified me.

I suspected at that moment that River was going to try and take their own life.

I instantly got off my game, and went to my room. I eventually got them to call me, and I was told that it had already gone further than a plan. River had drank glass cleaner in an attempt to end their life.

I immediately asked them to seek help, to call 911, to call somebody. They stubbornly refused. After much persuasion, I got them to contact their sister.

(As some quick context, River's mother was the cause of all of this. River's mother is toxic, manipulative, and does not deserve to be River's or anyone's mother.)

River's sister was aware of how River's mother acted, but called her anyways. During our FaceTime, River's mom bursts into the room and shouts, "What did you just swallow?"

River looks up, and does not respond. Their mother repeats the question. Then River looks down, and hangs up the facetime.

I know what's about to happen.

I text River.

No response.

I call River. I get sent to voicemail.

I have not heard anything from anyone through any means about them.

I know with 85% certainty that River is probably still alive, and in a mental hospital, without phone privileges (hence the radio silence), recuperating.

And I am still terrified. Completely.

River is my little sister. I don't care what anyone says. We are siblings, and I love them.

And if I find out that River is no longer on this world, if I find out that they are never going to text me again,

I don't know what I'll do.

I will attempt to make River's mother's life hell, regardless of the status of River's life.

I apologize for the dramatics at the end here. But it is the truth.

And there's the story. It's Friday, and I haven't heard anything.

I'm going to keep being peppy and upbeat across the site, as per usual. I will not dampen anyone's moods except with this post. If you wish to offer condolences, please don't dampen the mood on other threads for my sake. PM me or SU about it and mention me. Or reply to this one.

Thank you.