PiedPiper

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About PiedPiper

  • Rank
    Avid Social Distancer Since 2005
  • Birthday April 29

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    On the back of a Santhid
  • Interests
    Fabriology, Rosharan languages, classical music and swing jazz (and a little classic rock).

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  1. I'd like to submit Monday the 2nd.
  2. Yes, but keep in mind that if you wanted to (traditionally) publish this you wouldn't control the font. No, you don't need to make it more clear. I just didn't pay attention. I thought N was his cousin, not T's daughter, so I was convinced this couldn't possibly be flirting even though it definitely seemed like it. On reread, it's really not a problem. I, personally, would never have thought of this if you didn't point it out. Ask other people too, because I might be unique in this, but I would be less confused if you either explained it more or found a different way to illustrate that there are a bunch of birds. Show is better than tell only if people understand what you're showing.
  3. Chapter 2: Pg. 1: Minor thing, but why is H calling A "desert boy?" She's in the desert too. Pg. 1: Okay, I know A thinks they're close to Birdrock, but I think it's still unrealistic that his two companions would decide it was alright to traverse the desert in the daytime just because Amin said so. Pg. 2: Again, A is just telling his companions to stand still in the middle of the day in the desert? I'm beginning to wonder if they're alright upstairs. Pg. 3: "Do either of you know a better way to get out of here?" Not a rational reason to think a bird a) knows what you want and is trying to help you get it. If this is foreshadowing for some big reveal at the end, it needs to be framed differently. If I were traveling with A, I'd think he was getting sunsick. The fact that he internally dismisses the religion hypothesis not a page later just makes this even more befuddling. I think the problem here is that we don't have enough background; why are A's companions willing to follow him blindly? Why is he willing to follow a bird blindly? The question you then have to ask is: is it worth putting in all this backstory? What is this section trying to accomplish? Pg. 3: That last part about A resenting his father sounds like it could be important, but you could easily put that in chapter three, and it would be more cohesive -- and probably solve some of the issues Mandamon brought up. Chapter 3: Pg. 1: I like the architecture details. But mentioning that there are bits of cloth tied to the stalagmites without explaining why seems kind of pointless to me. Do they signify something? If so, what? Also, why are the building roofs stained white? Is it from the dove feathers? Because that doesn't seem like something that actually happens. If you want to illustrate that there are a lot of doves and that they come to Birdrock often, maybe try mentioning that they leave (insert large quantity here) of feathers on the streets, roofs, etc. Pg. 2: Why does A assume that this Mother T will keep this from his family? We learn later that she, in fact, doesn't, and this seems relatively in character based on the short scene we've had so far. Shouldn't A, after growing up near her, know better? Up until page 4 I kept reading "lyaman" as "layman," and I was super confused. Unless this fits some sort of pre-designed linguistic pattern, consider changing another letter so the words aren't so close? Maybe this issue is unique to me -- thoughts, everyone? Pg. 4: "how did she water them all?" -- nice desert-dweller detail. Pg. 5: I need more context to understand A's weird interaction with his cousin. It seems to me that these two chapters have been building to A's confrontation with his father -- why not include that here? As is, the whole thing feels pretty anticlimactic. Edit: I'm so sorry, I forgot to abbreviate the names! Another edit: stupid b) always changes to
  4. I like your castings as fantasy castings, but there are a few practical problems with them. I disagree with you about Teft -- Teft is super old, and probably hasn't aged well since he's a drug addict. Idris Elba doesn't look old enough for the role. Beyond that, Brandon has said before that the closest human race to Alethi are the Polynesians, and you cast a lot of white actors in roles that ideally would have more of an Asian/Pacific Islander look to them. Although Hiddleston as Wit is kind of perfect.
  5. Congratulations! It looks like you have a really interesting topic. Edit: with the genre crossover and flexibility, I mean.
  6. Here are some really bad ones (they're not corny, they're just bad): I'm a Drab, unfortunately. I lost my Breath when I first saw you. I'm burning electrum right now, and I can see my future with you. If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print.
  7. Hi there, @Stevent. How are you liking Eye of the World? Do you think you'll read all 15 books? Also, congrats on being almost dome with your novel. I absolutely love editing. It's my personal favorite part of the writing process [sarcasm]. Welcome to Reading Excuses!
  8. The smaller sticker isn't always the spren. They could decide to not do Glys or a normal Truthwatcher spren and just put someone like Adolin there instead, similar to how Navani isn't Dalinar's spren but still is part of his sticker sheet.
  9. I don't think you understand the point I was trying to make when I took it apart. You claimed that the invention of butcher knives did not lead to killing of people, and I extended the analogy to show that it, in fact, did. All it proved was that your "slippery slope" argument was not specific enough. Exactly. The Spanish crown had no idea how that first voyage would affect the course of history (Columbus must have been extremely Ta'veerin), but they went with it anyway, similar to how, as you pointed out, the first artifabrians had no way of knowing that their fabrials would lend premise to the making of half-shards. We're not arguing about what should have been done long in the past; we're arguing about if what they did was right to begin with. Neither do I buy your point that there's no causal link between the trapping of minor spren and the trapping of major spren. 1) How much did the Jah Keved scholars really know about the intelligence of these spren? For all we're given, we have no idea if they started with malicious intent or if all they knew was that certain spren were more powerful than others, and the more powerful spren could create more powerful fabrials. 2) The fact that no one (as far as we know) had voiced concerns about trapping minor spren really should have been a giant warning as to how they would have treated major spren. When the parshmen slaves became the Listeners, many Brightlords argued that the Parshendi should be enslaved anyway so they could have their free labor back. Do you really think the same mentality would not apply to spren?
  10. I disagree. Your analogy is not applicable in the way you thin it is, because butcher knives aren't useful in practicality when it comes to killing humans. That's why humans developed things like bows and swords and guns to kill each other, both of which were results of a culture, instigated by the butcher knife, where weapons are commonplace. You might think this is far-fetched, but remember humankind's earliest sharp rocks, and how they later became knives and arrowheads, and how from there we realized that if you make the blade longer it will have farther reach, making it better for fighting, and once violence is an ingrained part of society, no one bats an eye at the first gun. So let's say that, for the sake of argument, trapping non-sapient spren is humane (which I don't believe it is -- you've obviously read the post where I compared it to mistreatment of animals). The potential that it creates for wide-scale unjust imprisonment of thinking beings should definitely factor into the decision of the artifabrian. Here's another analogy: would you have sent Columbus on that first trade voyage because there was no nefarious intent if you had known that it would eventually lead to the torture and massacre of millions?
  11. That's not what I'm saying, actually. Sure, you might not make a half-shard (although I disagree that it's humane as long as the spren is not sapient), but other scholars would use your already-established precedent to make a half-shard (and there's no way one could argue that's unrealistic, because it's exacly what happened in Jah Keved).
  12. Trust me, I’ve also seen the livestream. I’m not sure this was so important to point out weeks after it was posted, though. Besides which, many might argue that the slippery slope point has evolved from its original meaning precisely because everyone uses it that way. As long as it’s widely understood, the original intent is less important than its modern use.
  13. Try a music app that can transcribe it.
  14. Well, you're incorrect that Allomancy's "natural form" creates a misting rather than a mistborn. Remember the end of WoA where Elend burned Lerasium and became mistborn? That's how all the noble houses got their powers originally, and through the generations it got weaker and we saw more and more mistings. Even modern mistborns (with the exception of Elend, or course) are much less powerful than they were in the earlier days of the Final Empire.
  15. The Sunnydale High School class of '99 10-year reunion was killer for the introverts. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. A wanted poster for Schrodinger's cat reads "dead and alive." Little known failure: Schrodinger's dog. It freaked out and started barking. When life gives you lemons, squirt them into life's mouth and see how life likes it. Ending with a preposition is where it's at. NOBODY EXPECTS THE STEEL INQUISITION!