Status Updates posted by Chasmgoat
Doctors, they benefit from your disease and pain.
Dentists, they benefit from your bad teeth.
Therapists, they benefit from your mental issues.
Teachers, they benefit from your lack of knowledge.
Restaurants, they benefit from your hunger.
but Thieves, Robbers, and Burglars?
They actually care about you.
They benefit from your good fortune in life.
Hey everyone, for a project, I need to send a survey to a lot of people. At least 50. I have 55 followers (even though most won't see this) anyway, please, please, please fill this out and share it with friends or family!
It's a very short survey, only 2 questions.
Also, if it doesn't work let me know
I play chess. I consider myself pretty good at it. So I decided to do something cool. I sent a friend request to Magnus Carlsen. If you don't know who that is, he is the Chess World Champion. He is known to some as the greatest chess player to ever live.
Now, If he accepts this friend request, (which is more likely than you would think as some of his friends have low ELO ranking and are not very active), then I will challenge him to a match. I will put it on daily so we each have 1 day per turn.
My goal is not to win, but merely to put him in check. I don't know if that's possible. but I want to be able to say that I played the World Chess Champion and put him in check. Because that would be epic.
I just really hope this works
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hehe, A funny one, yes.
I think it was about an hour after I sent the challenge that an article was published. but I hadn't read it or seen it until several days later.
Basically, the article was saying how Magnus Carlsen retired. I was shocked at this and then realized he retired about an hour after I challenged him. Which was really funny. Then I realized that while it was published march 31st for me, it was published in April fools for them so it was a prank which is slightly sad.
Anyway, I doubt anything will happen for a while as he isn't very active on the site
I decided to make "Chasmgoat" into some glyphs, cause why not?
Note: I am not exactly sure how the glyphs work and am too lazy to fully comprehend it and examine existing glyphs, so if it does not really mean "Chasmgoat" oh well, I don't care.Spoiler
I'm planning on 3d printing a pillar, dagger, goat statue, or all of the above with one of these designs engraved into it.
Right. This is the D&D story's map.
This is the unedited map:
This is the annotated one:
The one circled in red is me.
The ones in light blue are my dead teammates
the one in dark blue is johnny bones. RIP.
The ones in green are the death tyrants
the ones in pink are the wolves/flaming skulls
and I think one is strahd.
All the red markings on the map itself are stuff made by the bag o' beans
That was EPIC
So... D&D right?
I was doing Curse of Strahd with my sister, dad, and a couple college kids.
We had left off in a fight with the vampire lord (Strahd himself) and we didn't know that Strahd was just testing us. We thought this was the big fight. And if it was, we were failing. Miserably.
Now, before the table turns, let me give you some background information on the NPC that carries our party. Johny Bones. The Overpowered Skeleton Jazz Bard.
Now, how we met him... We were (We as in, everyone but me as I haven't been invited to this party yet... )
in a tomb and fighting a skeleton. After killing him, he rolled a D20 and if it was a 20, he would come back to life. Guess what? He came back to life 5 times. Our DM decided to just let him join the group as a jazz skeleton bard.
Now, Johny bones was powerful. He managed to grab Strahd like a playground bully. and we (including me this time) just kept beating him up feeling cool. (We didn't realize we were basically doing nothing to him)
He breaks free and does a fireball on the lot of us. AND 11 wolves appear and attack. We were not feeling so cool as the entire party, except a wizard and me, fall down at 0 health. We manage to stablize them and wipe out the wolves. We were all at about 5 HP. Then, my sister remembers a small little item she got from a wandering trader dude. A bag of beans.
Now, this bag of beans was magical. You throw one at the ground and roll a percentile die. Something random happens. So, she throws one at Strahd's feet. She rolls a d100. And about 5 other dice. 7 minutes later, our DM turns bright red in the face and begins laughing. Not a good sign.
Where the bean hit the ground, 11 pink toads popped from the ground and Strahd managed to (in his confusion) step on every single one of them.
They each turned into a CR 14 death tyrant. If you don't know what that is, well, have you heard of the iconic Beholders? It's what happens when one of those has a nightmare about dying and then basically becomes an undead beholder or something.
Anyway, so here we are, a group of practically dead people. Facing 11 CR 14 Death Tyrants, AND Strahd.
Now, that's really not good. we are at Level 4. Really not good. As one Death Tyrant can wipe evenly match 4 level 14 characters... yeah...
well, I think we could all agree this is TPK (total party kill) material if you ever saw some.
We decide to throw the remaining beans onto the ground (8 left). So, 8d100 later, we are surrounded by 11 14CR death tyrants, strahd, 11 undead wolves (the ones we killed earlier), 10 flaming skulls, two geysers (one spraying sweet tea and the other spraying oil), two trees with shimmering fruit and a giant beanstalk and weird mushrooms that made shrieking noises and hurt us.
Right. so we went from bullying a vampire lord to certain doom in 6 seconds.
Fun, isn't it?
The death tyrants got their turns...
The map was littered with minis and everything was in chaos. My party members all go down (like, completely dead. No return) except me and my dad. He was struck down and not completely dead.
I run and climb a tree, grab a fruit, and eat it. I gain the strength of a fire giant and my muscles become beefy. I am very, very strong now. I proceeded to get hit by 15 rays from the death tyrants... (I was at 10 HP) They made me frightened and tried putting me to sleep (I am a half elf, so that failed). They did paralyze me and levitate me above a swarm of wolves, flaming skulls, and a resurrected evil johnny bones. I manage to escape, and barely grab the beanstalk. My dad fully dies. My party members were all in the afterlife trying to guess a magic word, but failing and making the entire situation worse.
So there I was, on a bean stalk, surrounded by overpowered enemies, with 10 health. All alone. so, I climbed.
They kept shooting beams. I managed to dodge all but the sleep ones (which were useless to me anyway)
I went to the sky and waited for everything to calm down and for the enemies to leave.
I crawled down and cried. My friends were dead. My only hope of seeing sunlight for the first time in my life was gone. I buried them and turned. Without a glance behind me, I went away. Living my remaining years in a cave. very depressed. and died. alone. with nothing important happening in my life. Not knowing my parents. Completely and utterly alone. For a character I didn't know very well. That struck me hard. Harder than I could ever anticipate. My first character death.
anyway, I realized that I actually didn't take any damage during the entire chaotic scenario while everyone else took 100+ damage.
My character also did not know how it all happened. Just that it did. because within 6 seconds, he went from winning to losing his friends and he facing an army.
If you read all that, thanks!
also, I may get a picture of the map... it was more than slightly insane.
Right. So I have a problem. The shard is now restricted from my computer. So, I won't be able to access this very well. I can only do it from my phone and I won't do that much. So, farewell. I probably will return to the shard someday, but I will be on discord
huh. Let's add to the mess.
Currently listening to the sound of my face being formed from molten plastic and hoping it was dimensioned properly
All right... I am forcing myself to stay off the shard for a while. I will probably be back friday afternoon.
I may try to keep up with RPs but I don't know. Thank you