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Status Updates posted by Chasmessian

  1. Hey. I'm returning... I guess

    (I was Chasmgoat, but I don't like goats so I changed, my name is based of the greek teumessian fox)

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. The Storming Stormfather
    3. AonEne


      WHat do we call you if not goaty 

    4. Chasmessian


      You can call me Goaty, I am still Goaty if not Chasmgoat

  2. So I know I left the shard a while ago... And I'm not even going to try and keep up with notifs and stuff.

    anyway, I am posting this in regards to the fortnite/mistborn thing.

    I have traced myself to the Cosmere.

    My dad was specifically mentioned in a comic series (heroes, and it's made by DC comics and therefore part of the DC universe infinite)

    batman is both in the DC universe infinite and in fortnite.

    Kelsier is in fortnite and from the cosmere.

    Also, since I am linked to all of this, I am also linked to the following things due to similar connections:

    Marvel, capcom, smash bros, Minecraft, terraria, portal, the half-life games, kool-aid man, tomb raider, and many, many more.

    But yeah. anyway, time to leave again.

    So long and thanks for all the fish.

    1. Matrim's Dice

      Matrim's Dice

      Now that is an impressive résumé

  3. Doctors, they benefit from your disease and pain.

    Dentists, they benefit from your bad teeth.

    Therapists, they benefit from your mental issues.

    Teachers, they benefit from your lack of knowledge.

    Restaurants, they benefit from your hunger.

    but Thieves, Robbers, and Burglars?

    They actually care about you.

    They benefit from your good fortune in life.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Blake Hawklow

      Blake Hawklow

      Very true...

    3. Frustration


      This makes me the most fair being to ever exsist, I benefit from everyone.

    4. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      impresive, most impressive.

  4. Happy Birthday!!!

    1. midnight13


      Thank you! :)

  5. Hey everyone, for a project, I need to send a survey to a lot of people. At least 50. I have 55 followers (even though most won't see this) anyway, please, please, please fill this out and share it with friends or family!

    It's a very short survey, only 2 questions.

    Thank you!

    Also, if it doesn't work let me know

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Spock



      Good luck on your project!

    3. The Unknown Order

      The Unknown Order

      I did it. How many have responded so far?

    4. Blake Hawklow
  6. I play chess. I consider myself pretty good at it. So I decided to do something cool. I sent a friend request to Magnus Carlsen. If you don't know who that is, he is the Chess World Champion. He is known to some as the greatest chess player to ever live.
    Now, If he accepts this friend request, (which is more likely than you would think as some of his friends have low ELO ranking and are not very active), then I will challenge him to a match. I will put it on daily so we each have 1 day per turn. 
    My goal is not to win, but merely to put him in check. I don't know if that's possible. but I want to be able to say that I played the World Chess Champion and put him in check. Because that would be epic.

    I just really hope this works

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Chasmessian


    3. Chinkoln


      Any update?

    4. Chasmessian


      hehe, A funny one, yes.

      I think it was about an hour after I sent the challenge that an article was published. but I hadn't read it or seen it until several days later.

      Basically, the article was saying how Magnus Carlsen retired. I was shocked at this and then realized he retired about an hour after I challenged him. Which was really funny. Then I realized that while it was published march 31st for me, it was published in April fools for them so it was a prank which is slightly sad.

      Anyway, I doubt anything will happen for a while as he isn't very active on the site

  7. This account violates the Shards advertising policy (I think)

  8. I decided to make "Chasmgoat" into some glyphs, cause why not?
    Note: I am not exactly sure how the glyphs work and am too lazy to fully comprehend it and examine existing glyphs, so if it does not really mean "Chasmgoat"  oh well, I don't care.



    I'm planning on 3d printing a pillar, dagger, goat statue, or all of the above with one of these designs engraved into it.

    1. Chinkoln


      I wish I had a 3D printer... I would have items and characters from the Cosmere being printed 24/7

  9. to all y'all not wearing green...


    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Ghanderflaffle


      My mask is green!

    3. The Technovore

      The Technovore

      *grabs your pinching hand and lashes you to the sky*

    4. Maddie The Succulent

      Maddie The Succulent

      Hehe I’m safe!

  10. Happy birthday!

  11. Right. This is the D&D story's map.
    This is the unedited map:



    This is the annotated one:



    The one circled in red is me.

    The ones in light blue are my dead teammates

    the one in dark blue is johnny bones. RIP.

    The ones in  green are the death tyrants

    the ones in pink are the wolves/flaming skulls

    and I think one is strahd.

    All the red markings on the map itself are stuff made by the bag o' beans

  12. Storms.


    That was EPIC

    So... D&D right?

    I was doing Curse of Strahd with my sister, dad, and a couple college kids.
    We had left off in a fight with the vampire lord (Strahd himself) and we didn't know that Strahd was just testing us. We thought this was the big fight. And if it was, we were failing. Miserably. 
    Now, before the table turns, let me give you some background information on the NPC that carries our party. Johny Bones. The Overpowered Skeleton Jazz Bard.

    Now, how we met him... We were (We as in, everyone but me as I haven't been invited to this party yet... :()

    in a tomb and fighting a skeleton. After killing him, he rolled a D20 and if it was a 20, he would come back to life. Guess what? He came back to life 5 times. Our DM decided to just let him join the group as a jazz skeleton bard. 
    Now, Johny bones was powerful. He managed to grab Strahd like a playground bully. and we (including me this time) just kept beating him up feeling cool. (We didn't realize we were basically doing nothing to him)

    He breaks free and does a fireball on the lot of us. AND 11 wolves appear and attack. We were not feeling so cool as the entire party, except a wizard and me, fall down at 0 health. We manage to stablize them and wipe out the wolves. We were all at about 5 HP. Then, my sister remembers a small little item she got from a wandering trader dude. A bag of beans.
    Now, this bag of beans was magical. You throw one at the ground and roll a percentile die. Something random happens. So, she throws one at Strahd's feet. She rolls a d100. And about 5 other dice. 7 minutes later, our DM turns bright red in the face and begins laughing. Not a good sign.

    Where the bean hit the ground, 11 pink toads popped from the ground and Strahd managed to (in his confusion) step on every single one of them.
    They each turned into a CR 14 death tyrant. If you don't know what that is, well, have you heard of the iconic Beholders? It's what happens when one of those has a nightmare about dying and then basically becomes an undead beholder or something.

    Anyway, so here we are, a group of practically dead people. Facing 11 CR 14 Death Tyrants, AND Strahd.

    Now, that's really not good. we are at Level 4. Really not good. As one Death Tyrant can wipe evenly match 4 level 14 characters... yeah...

    well, I think we could all agree this is TPK (total party kill) material if you ever saw some.

    We decide to throw the remaining beans onto the ground (8 left). So, 8d100 later, we are surrounded by 11 14CR death tyrants, strahd, 11 undead wolves (the ones we killed earlier), 10 flaming skulls, two geysers (one spraying sweet tea and the other spraying oil), two trees with shimmering fruit and a giant beanstalk and weird mushrooms that made shrieking noises and hurt us.

    Right. so we went from bullying a vampire lord to certain doom in 6 seconds.

    Fun, isn't it?

    The death tyrants got their turns...

    The map was littered with minis and everything was in chaos. My party members all go down (like, completely dead. No return) except me and my dad. He was struck down and not completely dead. 
    I run and climb a tree, grab a fruit, and eat it. I gain the strength of a fire giant and my muscles become beefy. I am very, very strong now. I proceeded to get hit by 15 rays from the death tyrants... (I was at 10 HP) They made me frightened and tried putting me to sleep (I am a half elf, so that failed). They did paralyze me and levitate me above a swarm of wolves, flaming skulls, and a resurrected evil johnny bones. I manage to escape, and barely grab the beanstalk. My dad fully dies. My party members were all in the afterlife trying to guess a magic word, but failing and making the entire situation worse.

    So there I was, on a bean stalk, surrounded by overpowered enemies, with 10 health. All alone. so, I climbed.
    They kept shooting beams. I managed to dodge all but the sleep ones (which were useless to me anyway)

    I went to the sky and waited for everything to calm down and for the enemies to leave.
    I crawled down and cried. My friends were dead. My only hope of seeing sunlight for the first time in my life was gone. I buried them and turned. Without a glance behind me, I went away. Living my remaining years in a cave. very depressed. and died. alone. with nothing important happening in my life. Not knowing my parents. Completely and utterly alone. For a character I didn't know very well. That struck me hard. Harder than I could ever anticipate. My first character death.

    anyway, I realized that I actually didn't take any damage during the entire chaotic scenario while everyone else took 100+ damage.
    My character also did not know how it all happened. Just that it did. because within 6 seconds, he went from winning to losing his friends and he facing an army.

    If you read all that, thanks!

    also, I may get a picture of the map... it was more than slightly insane.

  13. This is a spam bot!

  14. Right. So I have a problem. The shard is now restricted from my computer. So, I won't be able to access this very well. I can only do it from my phone and I won't do that much. So, farewell. I probably will return to the shard someday, but I will be on discord

  15. Ignore my hair... Also, the top part printed out slightly bigger and it hurts to wear so I probably won't glue them together like I was planning





    I am also planning on painting them sometime

    1. Tesh


      This is terrifying.


      Also, your sweatshirt is storming awesome.

    2. Chasmessian
    3. The Windrunner Supreme
  16. huh. Let's add to the mess.


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Truthless of Shinovar

      Truthless of Shinovar

      Booooo no don’t abuse the status update!

    3. LukeWasTaken


      It feels like some people have a status update every 6 hours, I have posted two over my 119 days on the shard.

    4. Tesh


      Goat I'm older than you.
      Try to keep it to one or two a week, people...

      I shouldn't say anything.

  17. Currently listening to the sound of my face being formed from molten plastic and hoping it was dimensioned properly

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Chasmessian


      When I get it, sure. It probably won't turn out well due to technical problems

    3. Chasmessian


      So, I have the bottom half right now, I don't have the top half... Anyway, it looks creepily real. I will paint it eventually. I will also post a picture when I have all the parts

    4. The Windrunner Supreme
  18. Merry Birthday!!!

  19. So, I have a sinus arrhythmia and we did some heartbeat testing in school. This was my heart beat.



    While this was a normal persons



    So yeah, that was pretty interesting to see.

  20. All right... I am forcing myself to stay off the shard for a while. I will probably be back friday afternoon. 
    I may try to keep up with RPs but I don't know. Thank you

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Chasmessian


      huh. So apparently, I can't stay off of here. I am addicted. Take back your rep, I lied.

      I will still be staying off of discord a lot more and will still be on the shard often.


    3. Tesh


      Hi Goat! It's good to see you!

      The first two days are definitely the most difficult...

      It's helpful when the only thing you do on here is one roleplay...

    4. The Windrunner Supreme
  21. Happy Birthday!!!

    1. Ixthos


      Thank you! I hope you're also have a great day!

  22. Welcome to the Shard!!!