The Kraken's Daughter

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  • Birthday February 10

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  1. I didn't get it either. I did receive @aeromancer's submission last week, but haven't gotten anything from the group today.
  2. Ray Bradbury's short stories are wonderful! I especially love some of the ones in The October Country. I just read "The Emperor's Soul" and Edgedancer, and have now started into Oathbringer. I'm wondering if this book is going to be like WoR, where
  3. Hi @aeromancer! I liked the characters in this story, especially T. The "characters who don't like each other get stuck working together" is a bit of a cliched plot element, but I was interested anyway because of Z. You established earlier that a Forger and an Alchemist liked him well enough to give him gifts, and given the enmity between his faction and everyone else, I wondered how he managed to befriend them. I'm hoping we'll learn that as we see him working with P. The world of this story is really interesting and makes me want to read more about it. However, there were places where the story felt very tell-y. There are a lot of different factions with their own abilities, and while that makes the story feel like it's part of a larger setting, I wonder if we need as many details as we get at the beginning. There may be some factions that we don't really need to know more about than their name and that they use moonlight. And for the ones we do need detailed info on, perhaps that could be spread out through the story a bit more. As it is, assuming that this is half the story by length, nearly all the actual plot will be happening in the second half. Obviously, I haven't read that yet, but my concern is that important story elements like N's characterization, the development of P and Z's working relationship, and Z figuring out the mystery of what scared S off will feel really compressed. As I go: Page 1 it was too early in the evening and late in the month for the almost full yet waning A to show up yet I think you’re trying to cram a bit too much information into one clause here, and it ends up reading awkwardly. A wolf’s nose is sensitive enough to smell patches of fragrant herbs on the far side of a forest, sensitive enough to detect a musk of prey hiding deep in their burrows and dens, and even sensitive enough to follow scent trails up clean, crisp streams of water. I love how vividly you describe the importance of scent here. I also appreciated that you put it in terms of things a wolf would care about. Page 2 The fragrant aroma of roasting deer In the previous paragraph, you described the smell as “assaulting” S’s nostrils. When I’ve seen that word used to describe smells before, it’s always been unpleasant ones, like a rotting corpse. So the wording primed me to expect something dangerous or unsettling, and I was a little thrown when it turned out to be something good. Page 3 And that was when he spotted the wolf slowing moving towards his campfire. I’m not one of the "You must never use adverbs!" people, but in this case, I think a single verb like “slinking” or “stalking” might be more evocative than “slowly moving.” Page 10 “But scared has never been one of them.” “Hhh. True.” “Idiot. Of course I get scared – it’s saved my life a few times.” I’m a little confused about what’s going on here. The first line is Z, so when he says “my kind,” he’s clearly not talking about the wolves. But S responds to T’s comment about it being true as if it was his people Z was talking about.
  4. I started reading Edgedancer in Arcanum Unbounded today, and the in-world preface mentions that two of the other planets in the Rosharan system are inhabited. That got me to wondering if/how these other worlds might fit into the Stormlight Archive. Will Odium's arrival also affect them? Could Knights Radiant appear there as well as on Roshar? Do they also have to put up with Hoid gallivanting around? I would love to see a glimpse of these other planets, especially since one of them apparently has floating cities.
  5. Oh, that's very cool! I would love to read a Rock-focused story. Aside from Kaladin himself, he's my favorite member of Bridge 4.
  6. I could see a book tour having some modest impact, simply because people will buy hard copies of the book (rather than e-books, which are usually cheaper) specifically so they can have it signed. I got to meet Brandon at a con shortly after The Rithmatist was released, and people were buying copies of it in the dealers' room so they could get it signed. I'm sure a lot of them would have bought it anyway, but with the popularity of e-readers today, they might have gone for electronic copies instead. Or they might have borrowed it from a library instead of buying a copy. The dealers' room also had copies of all Brandon's previous works prominently displayed, and people were buying those too. With a book tour, you've also got incentive for people to buy the book right now, instead of going, "Eh, I'll wait for it to come out in paperback." I don't know if publishing is like the movie industry, where your numbers on "opening weekend" are A Great Big Storming Deal, but I can imagine it making at least some difference.
  7. Congrats on the promotion, @hawkedup!
  8. Page 5 “fifty-two R quinthropod ‘beetles.’” The “R” part kind of sounds like a brand name, and the quotation marks around beetles makes it sound like they’re some kind of artificial vehicle that’s been given a nickname. (Who knew Volkswagon would still be around after Earth’s ecology has collapsed and humans have colonized the galaxy?) But the previous chapters made the beetles sound like biological life-forms that are, in fact, beetles. So this line was a little confusing. Pages 6 and 7 “her light brown hair…Her skin was light brown” Having the same descriptor used twice in the same paragraph feels a bit repetitive. Page 10 “She offered E a plastic cup of water with defiant eyes and a shaking hand.” This makes it sound like she’s afraid of E, but I’m not sure why she would be, given that E’s outnumbered and can barely stand up. The descriptions of the lush landscape are great, and E’s stunned incredulity feels very believable. I also liked her anger that the M got to be with T in her last days instead of E. That was a great character moment for her. One thing that did ring a little false was the apparent reverence the M have for T, with one of them saying they wanted to “honor” her. Surviving in the wilderness long enough for the M to find her, with terminal cancer no less, certainly qualifies her as a badass, but the M seem to be hinting at a more personal connection. I’m starting to wonder if T had some contact with the M before her final illness, but if so, I’m not yet seeing a good reason for her to hide that from E. (And given the advanced technology the M must have to do bioengineering on this scale, I’m wondering why they couldn’t have used something like CAR-T therapy to cure T if they respected her so much.) I’m also not sure how I feel about the suit AI being replaced with the personality version. I like its banter with E, but I don’t really see any reason why the pirates would bother switching out the versions. If anything, giving E access to a more advanced AI seems like a bad idea if they expect her to possibly be hostile.
  9. I recently got his Tomie as a gift but haven't gotten around to reading it yet.
  10. Page 1 “they fainted in the scarred forests” “Fainted” doesn’t feel like the right word here. I associate it with something that only happens to humans. The image of a bear or a wolf fainting makes me imagine it putting paw to its forehead, saying “oh!”, and being revived with smelling salts afterward—sort of applying a stereotyped image of a human behavior to an animal. It ends up being comical, and I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re going for here. I like these little epigraphs you put at the beginning of each chapter. It’s like you’re slowly showing us how the characters got into the situation they start the story in. I hope we eventually find out what it was that caused Earth’s complete ecological collapse. Page 2 “She flicked a finger at the plastic pages” Even in the twenty-first century, most labs use electronic notebooks. I know this is something of a post-apocalyptic setting, but if they have AI programs for environment suits, I feel like they should have at least a basic word-processing program that could be used for recording data. Page 7 “docked her pay her for academic subordination” I think you meant insubordination. I’m a little unclear about what’s going on with S. My impression at this point is that he’s a trans man who hasn’t had SRS, and he knows that he would be kicked off Q if he became anatomically male, but I’m not 100% sure if that’s correct. Looking back at Chapter 1, there’s a mention of E looking toward the “perpetual sunrise,” which makes it sound like she’s near the sun side of the planet. But here, you talk about her suit being lost on the “snow side,” which I assume would be the dark side.
  11. There were some things in Season 8 that were really good. Brienne's knighting was wonderful, I agree with you about Jorah's ending, Cleganebowl was great, and the acting and cinematography remained excellent throughout.
  12. I've heard good things about this one. I'm reading a short story collection by F. Brett Cox called The End of All Our Exploring. The first two stories were kind of weak, but the ones since have been very good. One in particular was very fitting for reading as we move into the Halloween season--not so much outright scary as unsettling.
  13. Page 1 “seawater turned brackish” Brackish means salty, which is how seawater naturally is. If anything, it seems like a bunch of freshwater being dumped into the oceans would decrease the salt content. The action scenes were easy to visualize and you kept up the tension throughout. I also appreciated that, while the M aren’t looking to harm E, and even seem willing to pass along T’s message, the one E meets isn’t being unreasonably helpful either. The colonists and the pirates are still adversaries, so it makes sense that this one would be wary of E and not willing to put up with any (perceived) BS from her. Given that, I’m curious about why the M are willing to pass on the message in the first place. Did T have some pre-existing connection with them, is it an honor-code thing…? It makes me want to read more to find out what’s going on. This feels like a very short chapter. I don’t know if you (or your agent/editor) is open to consolidating chapters, but I think this could be added on to Chapter 1 without making it too long. One small grammar nitpick: sometimes you capitalize the name for the group/society of pirates (the M) and sometimes you don’t.
  14. Ah, that makes more sense. Thanks for the info. That's included in Arcanum Unbounded, right? Maybe I'll read Edgedancer and The Emperor's Soul before I dive into Oathbringer. Oh, and one thing about WoR that I found really amusing...the sword Szeth gets at the end. Its voice reminded me so much of Clippy, the annoying assistant from old versions of Microsoft Office.