Turin Turambar
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Posts posted by Turin Turambar
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Ok, people are usually done critiquing by now? If you haven't posted yet, then ignore this post.
Sort of in order of people:
On 12/9/2019 at 9:18 AM, Mandamon said:You say this isn't fantasy, which leaves me a little confused at the end. Is the MC making the cat talk by throwing their voice? Or is this magical realism and you aren't considering it fantasy?
Ventriloquism. About half of you have figured it out. It is foreshadowed (the book he's holding is a book on ventriloquism) rather poorly, as it requires whoever to either know about the book or look it up.
On 12/9/2019 at 9:18 AM, Mandamon said:pg 2: "The two boys look at each other, neither one willing to speak for a moment."
--I don't understand what's so fascinating about the cat. Why did the boys look away from the target they want to beat up?The Bullies are superstitious, which is why the were so fascinated by the cat.
On 12/9/2019 at 7:54 PM, industrialistDragon said:Anyway, the protagonist's ability to speak would not have saved them from the bullies in this situation; the bullies appeared to me to want to pick on somebody and the protagonist just happened to be the easiest target in range. That would still be the case if they could talk from the beginning, so I am confused as to what fault is being overcome.
He's selectively mute. The fact that he's willing to talk (albeit through a cat) is an improvement. Also, I don't think that speaking then, even if he could make himself do so, wouldn't do anything. The Bullies were too intent on harassing MC. At that point, he needed something that would keep the two of them occupied long enough to escape.
On 12/9/2019 at 3:18 PM, Lightbearer said:The true interpretation needs to be clearer because the name detail is hard to keep in mind by the end since everything that's in the story is new information. Maybe it would help keeping the memory fresh if you put the sentence with the book's name alone in a paragraph, like saying 'hey brain, hold onto this.'
I chose the name of the story after; It's called "When Cat's Intercede" because I couldn't think of anything better.
Thank you to everyone who pointed the lack of an emotional response, I definitely need to fix that.
7 hours ago, Robinski said:- Paragraph eight: Why is second not called Beta? It just seemed that you set that up. it feels untidy to me.
The reason the second is called Deputy and not Beta is because the first wasn't named Alpha because MC was counting them in greek. When he called him Alpha, it was because MC saw him as the "Alpha male" of that pack.
7 hours ago, Robinski said:- Paragraph five: What is "-"? I don't know what that is. Also, 'boys'. This is the first indication that the goons are not adults, which I was assuming.
Lastly, the two bullies are in (about) eighth grade.
Thanks again to everyone who critiqued this.
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No problem! I want to answer everyone eventually just to clear up what I was thinking. It's all very helpful feedback.
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On 12/7/2019 at 10:39 AM, Toaster Retribution said:
Huh, they have cast Thom, Logain, Loial and Fain. I only know of Logains actor (he is the Professor in La Casa de Papel) but I do like the castings, even though Thom doesnt look much like I pictured him.
Hopefully they announce Mins actress soon. She is one of the few females in WoT I like, so I’d be bummed out if she got cut.
I'm sorry, I know this is a waste of a post, but I have to agree. Min is awesome.
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Hey everyone,
I know this isn't fantasy - but it's for a writing contest in which the parameters dictate it be flash fiction and fantasy was clearly the wrong choice here. It has to be written to specific character faults and how they overcome that fault.Sorry about the rambling bit. It needed context.Tear it apart, please.0 -
Yes please! I actually meant the 9th.
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Hey, is there space this week?
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I'm pretty sure that Nathrangking is right. How would you know?
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Somewhere in the first 2 books Navani says to Dalinor (quoted loosely from memory) "in some cultures, we'd be obligated to marry." Now, I'm not sure what culture in Roshar or even the Cosmere, but I think there is real world source for it. Where is that source, and why is it there? Call it a challenge for all of you. Good Luck!
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I hadn't thought about it outside of a vacuum. Thanks!
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18 hours ago, Snipexe said:23 hours ago, Turin Turambar said:
Thanks for explaining the blades.
As for people whose eyes become milky, if you didn't know beforehand, how could you tell what their eye color is supposed to be?
I believe eye color is hereditary, (on Roshar that is) so you could base it on their parents eyes.
I'm saying a random blind dude comes to town with milky eyes. You don't know much/anything about him. Where does he fall under the caste system?
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Thanks for explaining the blades.
On 8/22/2019 at 11:58 AM, Weltall said:As for blind people in Vorin lands, most who are blind have eyes that look perfectly normal, they just don't function completely or at all. They'd be in whatever rank was appropriate for their eye color and social status. Those people whose eyes do become cloudy due to the cause of their blindness would be in whatever position they should have been in.
As for people whose eyes become milky, if you didn't know beforehand, how could you tell what their eye color is supposed to be?
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Setalle said that it was the lack of the ageless face that ticked her off, I think. Which the Dumai's Wells AS didn't have.
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In book 6, the Aes Sedai use Aes Sedai that don't yet have the ageless faces disguised as servants to capture Rand before Dumai's Wells. These are Full Aes Sedai. Yet Setalle Anan uses the fact that Elayne doesn't have an ageless face as the basis of her claim that Nynaeve and Elayne aren't Aes Sedai. What's up here?
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Where does a blind person into the Rosharan Caste system? Also, why is the caste system based off of eyes? Off the top of my head in the real world, most caste indications, even if it isn't a hard system, is based off of race. Does that mean that the original Rosharans were the immigrants?
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Anyone else want Ramin Djawadi for the music? Like, really, really badly? (Or Howard Shore)
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Anduril.
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On 6/28/2019 at 0:50 AM, Karger said:
Considering that captain Ico and Syl both new each other fairly well limits the spren population
I thought was because captain Ico a ) was an honor spren, b ), worked for her "father," if i remember correctly
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On 12/4/2017 at 7:01 PM, hoser said:
So wait! Our heroes need lots of Knights Radiant? Taravangian has means of reducing the spren available to bond potential Knights? Luckily Mr. T is a trustworthy ally, not a traitor making private arrangements with Odium. Otherwise I might be worried.
My understanding is spren are like bugs. Even nahel-bond worthy spren, there are millions or billions of them.
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8 hours ago, King of Herdaz said:
And some of these, notably Asherah and Moloch, appear in the Torah.
Thank You? (For the proper term, at least) Where are they?
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The title says it all - who chooses them? one of the heroes mentioned that Mat wasn't chosen probably because he wouldn't like it and Mat replies that he would want to be called by every bloody person who blows the thing. Any ideas?
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On 6/21/2019 at 8:03 AM, Cosfan4472 said:
Mat is still a ta veren, however. There was a moment that indicated to me that his luck was still active. He was also feeling a tugging to go to Tuon, as well. So, he is still needed by the Pattern, which is funnily ironic. Also suits Mat to a tee.
Does that mean that Brandon probably still has license to make more WoT stories?
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Oh - thanks. I missed that.
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Reading Excuses -12/9/19 - Turin Turambar - When Cats Intercede - 869
in Reading Excuses
Posted
The word count requirement was 750-1k words.