Turin Turambar

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  1. Sorry about that! I didn't realize it would be a problem.
  2. Pg.5 - He spent many long nights ... in equal measure Pg. 7 - The prince looked at his loves, (plural) Pg. 8 - And if, occasionally, the prince’s favorite horse ... the way he doted on it? Pg. 8 - two mares... with a stallion None of this is hard proof, but it does seem an indication.
  3. I could have misread it, but I got the impression that the Prince knew what was going on.
  4. Now that Aes Sedai and Asha'man know (or at least Pevara and Androl do) that bonding each other leads to heightened warder bonds, control of the opposite saidar/saidin without a circle and telepathy, will it become common? What are the practical applications? Will the Aes Sedai and Asha'man be able to overcome their natural prejudice?
  5. Interesting stoy. I'm not going to critique much, as I'm not fluent enough in fairy tale to do so, but I liked it. Did your dream come from a rather literal take on Animal-Groom (Whatever the actual term is)?
  6. After thinking a bit, I was wondering: what's the reason for the love triangle? I couldn't think of one, especially because he doesn't even "resolve" it. They just all agree to "share" him? J
  7. The word count requirement was 750-1k words.
  8. Ok, people are usually done critiquing by now? If you haven't posted yet, then ignore this post. Sort of in order of people: Ventriloquism. About half of you have figured it out. It is foreshadowed (the book he's holding is a book on ventriloquism) rather poorly, as it requires whoever to either know about the book or look it up. The Bullies are superstitious, which is why the were so fascinated by the cat. He's selectively mute. The fact that he's willing to talk (albeit through a cat) is an improvement. Also, I don't think that speaking then, even if he could make himself do so, wouldn't do anything. The Bullies were too intent on harassing MC. At that point, he needed something that would keep the two of them occupied long enough to escape. I chose the name of the story after; It's called "When Cat's Intercede" because I couldn't think of anything better. Thank you to everyone who pointed the lack of an emotional response, I definitely need to fix that. The reason the second is called Deputy and not Beta is because the first wasn't named Alpha because MC was counting them in greek. When he called him Alpha, it was because MC saw him as the "Alpha male" of that pack. Lastly, the two bullies are in (about) eighth grade. Thanks again to everyone who critiqued this.
  9. No problem! I want to answer everyone eventually just to clear up what I was thinking. It's all very helpful feedback.
  10. I'm sorry, I know this is a waste of a post, but I have to agree. Min is awesome.
  11. Hey everyone, I know this isn't fantasy - but it's for a writing contest in which the parameters dictate it be flash fiction and fantasy was clearly the wrong choice here. It has to be written to specific character faults and how they overcome that fault. Sorry about the rambling bit. It needed context. Tear it apart, please.
  12. Yes please! I actually meant the 9th.
  13. Hey, is there space this week?
  14. That's just awesome