“One day I was walking, and I came across a big log. So I rolled it over, and underneath was a tiny little stick. And I was like, ‘That log had a child!’”
*pauses, nodding sagely*
I would decree that all citizens shall henceforth posses the ability to request free hugs and pictures of baby animals at their own discretion. I would take petitions concerning new laws which the populace wishes to be enacted. I would also place a ban on all unnecessary rudeness.