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Everything posted by Lunamor

  1. But the slaughter of a single potato could do nothing to stop the massive slaughter that was coming. Far away (yet not far enough) a massive army began to rise in the sugar cane fields of the horrible land of Dextrosia. Legion upon legion of sugary beasts surfaced from bubbling pools of artificial flavorings. At first they appeared to be nothing more than little globs of food coloring, writhing pitifully upon the ground of used silver wrappers. But as they were exposed to the steaming clouds of chemicals that filled the atmosphere, sucking them into their gelatinous bodies with an awful squelching sound, they began to change shape. They crystalized, became more solid. Some grew outer shells so sour that just a single breath of their toxic fumes could leave even the nastiest zucchini immobilized, gasping for breath. Those would be the Warheads. Nasty things. Even their fellow fighters made sure to stay away from them. They had a tendency to... explode when they got upset. Or angry. Or sad. Or mildly perturbed. Other blobs grew into smaller forms. Not a single one was the same color as the next, different patterns covering their skins, but somehow they all managed to keep the same shape. Despite their differences, it was near impossible to tell them apart. The powdery white tattoos on their sides- reading the ever fearsome words “Jelly Belly”- certainly didn’t help matters. These warriors none could predict, for each had a different taste and way of destruction. Each, however, was equally lethal. A third group of sludge piles began to transform into massive, perfectly round balls of a material stronger than steel and heavier than the feeling of dropping ones ice cream cone into a gutter. They varied in size, the biggest brushing the cotton candy clouds which drifted high above. They rolled to and fro at random, occasionally crushing any unfortunate piece of candy that happened to be in their path. They either didn’t know or didn’t care. Such things were below them- both figuratively and literally. There were many more sorts of confections stalking about in the great crowd, but to simply list them all would take years. All that needs to be said is that they were dangerous. They were cruel. They were evil. And they were coming. I’ve got no clue where that came from.
  2. Proof: How else can the dude write so fast? Theory: Birds in Roshar stay in Shinovar because they are secretly planning to replace the rulers of Roshar with members of their own royal family (it’s not like the Rosharins could tell the difference anyways).
  3. AFRICAN GREY PARROTS Seriously, those things are amazing!
  4. Suddenly a Potatowatcher from a few pages back had a starch vision. The Glucosebringers were coming.
  5. Breath of the Wild is my favorite game of all time!!!
  6. I just came up with a random theory. What if the first shades on Threnody were caused by an experiment gone drastically wrong? Nazh talks of rituals for becoming a “shadow”, which likely means cognitive shadow. The shades are twisted forms of cognitive shadows. What if the first shades were caused by a ritual to become a shadow going very wrong? Ambition’s splintering and some of its power ending up on Threndoy could still be a cause- either it caused the people in charge of the experiment to try and improve/do something that was too far out of their reach, or some Investiture got mixed up in the ritual messing things up. Another possibility is that Ambition corrupted the people who were already cognitive shadows, turning them into shades. The Deepest Ones could be those in charge of the experiment or process of turning people into shadows. Sorry if this theory has already been said! *prepares for theory to be ripped to shreds like all of the others*
  7. KAHOOT I probably won’t play in any of these games, but still KAHOOT
  8. Are you a spambot?

  9. It was quite an impressive piece of art, for a creature with hooves. Edit: Ninja'd
  10. Or anything else, really. But at this point he was so used to it that he just didn’t care anymore.
  11. Luna shook her head at all of the cauntibalism. I am so sorry.
  12. Not again...
  14. *nearby doctor faints*
  15. Luna apologized and threw a roll of paper towels at his face. It went bonk. Best sound.
  16. Luna was quite impressed. She threw an entire cake to see what would happen.
  17. Luna threw a slice of cake at Stick.
  18. Welcome back Per! Luna waved excitedly at Per.
  19. Cotton candy flavored, with a slight hint of anesthetic.
  20. Aw, thanks! (To both!) *stuffs entire cookie in mouth*
  21. * This was meant to be my 1000th post, but I forgot so this will just have to settle for being my 1001th post. Here is my AMA. No super personal questions please! Random questions encouraged.
  22. I can hear his voice
  23. Sadeas sounding exactly like Snape in the audiobooks is the best thing.
  24. Thanks Yep! I’m Christian. That’s a hard one... With limited stormlight Zura would win and with unlimited stormlight Ben would win (it all comes down to illusions and healing (and how lucky Zura gets with throwing knives in random directions)). Storms yeah! Storms yeah! Storms yea- wait-