Darth Woodrack

Then he rose once more.

Granted. You get a mansion so full of secret passages there is almost no room for anything else, and since they’re secret passages, you have no idea how to access any of them. Now onto your bane. You have an irrevocable and absolute fear of chipmunks. I wish for a chipmunk to terrify @Eluvianii with.

Granted. Your life has been extended by 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of a milisecond. Your name is that your eyes now permanently move in opposition to each other. Basically, when you look up with one eye the other looks down, when you look right the other looks left, etc. On the bright side it is now really easy to cross your eyes. I wish for happiness.

Granted. The Nightwatcher decides that the easiest way to accomplish your wish is to kill your cat. Your bane is that you must spend the rest of your life serving penance for your horribly worded wish. I wish for the immortality of cats. All cats. Even the ones that eat us. Hail our feline overlords.

Granted, you are teleported to Scradial in the height of the lord rulers dominion and must hide your powers or die. Your bane is that your head triples in size. I wish to live on earth as a full feurochemist.

Granted, you lose the ability to understand all languages except Ancient Greek, but you do not learn Ancient Greek, and may not learn any additional language. Oh, not a bane, just what would actually happen due to this wish, you would also crash the world hamburger market, and most likely drown in the hamburgers. They would also be it before you could eat all of them them, and you would not be able to store them all, unless you already have access to massive amounts of cold storage facility. I wish for the complete Cosmere timeline to be put on the 17th shard to be seen by all those who want to, forever, without changing the publishment schedule for any Brandon Sanderson books.

Papas fritos arrived, cutting Butterfluffer X in half with a shardblade.

Granted. From now on everything you taste tastes like pastrami. I wish for perfect immortality.

Oh crap I was thinking of Moash.

HAIL #VOIDAPPLE FOREVER.

Hail Voidus.

The quest also required a head.

They were simply a requisite.

Granted, your bane is that the content is a Mraize redemption ark. I wish for Mraize to never get a redemption ark, and die a horrible, slow, painful, death in the next Stormlight book.

Not the Golden Pine Needle MT, nor the Golden Pine Needle MD.

Suddenly, Breadmunks.

So... a normal spren bond? Granted, this shrubbery is also a dog and you must feed it constantly. I wish for 1,000,000,000 breaths, as in the investiture of endowment, not oxygen being forced into my lungs.

I’ll always be here to hug you Ene. Hugs with the infinite arms of a DM.

Yes, double posting is frowned upon. Now, let us continue in our cult like obsession with our holy lord and master Brandon Sanderson.

Granted. You are amazing at yo-yos. Your bane is that you are terrified of string. I wish to become a bond smith of night watcher. Due to you failing to wish voidspawn, I’m gonna bypass this.

And then a thermonuke hit.

But... Sanderson’s works are religious texts...

Granted, you know switch between an aluminum gnat and a nicrosil gnat everyone you burn a metal. Your bane is that you are deathly allergic to all metals. I wish to be a fullborn.

I think it's more like, they still have to be approved in the way that they don't have any remarkably game breaking powers or abilities, and that they aren't like Clyde's crazy birdman character.